Thenagain, it had taken Ethan letting Beau in, giving him this chance for him torealize what true love felt like. And this… what he felt for this amazing manwas real and true and powerful.
Regardlessof how he got here, Beau was just thankful he was here. Here with Ethan.
Aftermonths of wondering whether he was chasing his own fucking ass, something hadtold him to keep at it because the end result was going to be worth it.Whatever had spurred him on had been right. Ethan was worth it. Every ounce oflove he felt for this man was worth it.
HearingEthan’s story, witnessing his pain… that had been a wake-up call for Beau. Itexplained so much. Ethan wasn’t in denial, although he’d probably say he was.He knewwhohe was, he just hadn’t come to accept all of himself.
MaybeGavin was to blame. Or maybe it was Jimmy. Either way, those men had alteredEthan’s world. Jimmy with his God complex, thinking that he had the right todole out punishment because someone didn’t measure up to what he believed to bethe norm. And Gavin for stealing Ethan’s heart and breaking it into a millionpieces.
Sure,Beau’s heart went out to Gavin. He’d been young, confused, and probably in lovewith someone he knew his family wouldn’t accept. Too bad it didn’t sound likehe had a sturdy support system to get him through the confusion. And just likeso many unfortunate others, he’d taken his own life. Beau couldn’t even imaginethe pain Gavin had been in at the time. He was likely confused and watching hisown brother beat the man he loved had to have been hell.
Andmaybe Beau had it all wrong, but he didn’t think so.
Unfortunately,Beau couldn’t change the past, didn’t have an option to fix what had beenbroken. But he was here now. He could love Ethan with all that he was and hopethat was enough.
Didthat mean he’d have to live his life hiding out with Ethan? Pretending that hedidn’t love this man? If he left it up to Ethan, he was sure that would be theplan.
Beauwasn’t sure he could do that. He wasn’t built that way.
He’dspent his life in a house where love wasn’t shared freely, and generally it wasonly given when something had been proven. Since the moment his football careercame to an abrupt halt, Beau wasn’t sure his father had even said the words. Hesometimes wondered whether Ben even felt them. Beau loved his parents, but hedidn’t look up to them the way he did Zane’s parents.
Hewanted the type of love that could be shared freely and openly. Like Travis andKylie and Gage had. The three of them had gone against the norm, but theirfamilies accepted them. And more importantly, they accepted each other. AndTravis and Gage were the type of men who would stand up to the world and tellanyone who didn’t believe in what they had to fuck off. Beau wanted a man whowould stand up for him, a man who wasn’t ashamed or scared of what they shared.Because Beau was that man. He would go the distance to ensure Ethan knew he wasloved and to make sure no one harmed him.
Aboveall else, Beau would take care of Ethan. Emotionally, physically. It’s what hewanted. Hell, it was what he needed.
Hedidn’t think Ethan was ashamed of who he was, and he knew damn good and wellthat Ethan was strong enough to stand up for himself and those he loved. Thequestion was whether he would be able to or not. Would the pain and fear fromhis past always cripple him to where he felt he had to hide?
“Areyou awake?” Ethan asked, rolling over onto his back.
Beaushifted with him, refusing to let go. “Yeah, I’m awake.”
“Tellme what you’re thinking about.”
Beauwasn’t sure he could explain it. Knew he didn’t want to. Not if it meantrisking what they were sharing at the moment.
“You,”he said truthfully. “I’m thinking about you.” Kissing Ethan’s hair, Beaugripped him tighter.
“Well,then we have something in common,” Ethan said quietly.
“Yeah?You’re thinking about you too?” Beau teased, hoping to pull himself out fromunder his pressing thoughts.
“Yes,as a matter of fact,” Ethan replied, rolling over to face Beau fully.
Beauchuckled and settled into the bed so that he could pull Ethan closer.
“Nowtell me what you’re thinking about,” Ethan told him.
“HowI don’t want this to end.” There. He said it. If that sent Ethan running, he’djust have to deal with it.
Silencedescended, and Beau’s heart raced as he waited for Ethan to say something.
“Idon’t want it to end either.”
Well,that’s definitely not what he expected him to say.
“Whatdoes that mean for us?” Beau asked, curious as to where they were headed fromhere.
“I’mquite content just like this,” Ethan said, his arm sliding over Beau’s stomachin light, gentle strokes.
