Stone held onto Stevie like his lifedepended on it. At times, he was sure it did. Or it felt like it, anyway.
“I’m sorry about the things I said the other night.” Her words were mumbled, broken up by her sniffling.
Reluctantly, he released her when she pulled back.
“I didn’t mean them.” She wiped her eyes.
“You don’t have to apologize. I deserve it.”
Her eyes widened. “No, you don’t. God, Stone. Nobody deserves to be talked to like that. I had no right, and I’m ashamed of what I said. At the time, I wanted to hurt you.” She shook her head adamantly. “But what I said … it’s not true.”
Stone didn’t want to argue with her. He’d accepted the blame long ago. He’d come to terms with the fact he’d fucked up his own life by leaving. He didn’t need her to tell him that. If he had stayed, there was a good chance he would’ve married her, had babies. It would’ve been hard for them, and he had no doubt they would’ve struggled to get to this point, but he liked to think they would be happy even though he’d told himself for years that there was no way he could’ve been what Stevie needed.
Still, he wished he’d given himself a chance. Giventhema chance.
“I loved you so much back then,” Stevie whispered, her big brown eyes shining with unshed tears. “I was so lost when you left.”
“I was, too.” He cupped her face, shifting closer because he couldn’t not touch her now that she was here.
Stevie’s hand curled around his wrist, her eyes imploring him. “I went through all the stages of grief.”
Nico had mentioned the very same thing to him, stating that Stevie had hated them both for a long time.
“For a while, I even pretended you were dead. I finally accepted that you weren’t comin’ back, so it was easier that way. I didn’t want to believe you could walk away. I thought we had somethin’.”
“We did,” he assured her. “We absolutely did. Wedo. I fucked up. I loved you then, and I love you now, Stevie. You have to know that.”
She nodded, holding his stare.
“I thought I was doin’ right by you.”
“You hurt me.”
He swallowed, emotion churning in his gut. “I know. And I’ll spend the rest of my life makin’ it up to you.”
Stevie shook her head. “You can’t.”
“But I—”
She placed her hand over his lips. “What I mean is, we have to put it behind us. If we’re gonna move forward, we can’t let the past define our future.”
He wanted to believe that. More than that, he wanted her to mean it. A future with Stevie and Nico was the only thing he wanted. He had a lot to atone for, and he was prepared to prove to them he was in it for the long haul this time.
“I want a future with you,” she whispered.
Stone pulled her into his lap, hugging her tight to his chest. He was at a loss for words, so he settled for holding her, listening to her breathe, feeling the warmth of her body beneath his hands. Her proximity stirred his body to life, but he ignored it. And he was successful, right up until she kissed his neck, her fingers teasing the hair at his nape.
“I miss the way you used to touch me,” she said between nibbles on his neck.
He closed his eyes and got lost in her exquisite touch, her delectable scent teasing his nose. He couldn’t count how many nights he’d laid in his bunk thinking about her. When he closed his eyes, he swore he could feel her touch, hear her soft sighs. He’d dreamed about her for nights on end, constantly waking frustrated and angry with himself for leaving.
“Stone?”
“Hmm?”
“Touch me.”
He slipped his hands beneath her sweater, her smooth skin teasing his fingertips. She was so soft.
