Slade’s phone buzzed.
—If he kisses you, I expect to hear all about it.
He didn’t like the sound of that. Or maybe he did, and that was part of the problem.
Slade listened with half an ear while JJ and Baz explained the medical phenomenon of twin births.
—Tell me this. Do you want something to happen between me and Carson? Be honest, Atticus. I want to know where I stand.
—I don’t know what I want at this point. Besides spending more time with you.
That explanation helped a little, but Slade wasn’t home free because those little dots were still dancing. As he sat there, holding his breath, he waited for Atticus to kick his feet out from under him.
***
Atticus sat at one of the emptydesks in the bullpen at the Sniper 1 Security office. After his morning class, Z had called him into the office to talk. About what, he had yet to find out because Z was currently on an urgent call with one of their agents on assignment in Florida.
He’d been asked to wait, so here he was, texting back and forth with Slade on one thread and Carson on another.
It was surreal. After his night with Slade, he’d been so confused. Enough that he hadn’t bothered to contact Carson for two days. Then, when he remembered Carson telling him he was leaving it up to him, he broke down and messaged him.
That single text had renewed the spark of what they’d had before Atticus had been swept off his feet by Slade.
But the surreality came from interacting with two men who knew about the other. One of which was still encouraging Atticus to pursue the other. Carson had gone so far as to encourage Atticus to share details about what happened between him and Slade. He wasn’t pushing him, though. Atticus appreciated that. He hadn’t told him anything and didn’t intend to unless Slade agreed.
Yes, he was well aware of how fucked up the situation was. More so that he’d been adamantly against the three of them being together, and now he was actually fantasizing about it. In his defense, he now knew what it was like to be with both of them and somewhere in his warped brain, he’d come up with how incredible it would be to be with both at the same time.
Also, Atticus was in Dallas, and there were three hundred miles between him and either man, so it was safe to say his libido was getting the best of him.
His phone chimed.
—Slade just texted. Agreed to have dinner. Did you have something to do with that?
Atticus’s stomach churned violently. He wasn’t sure whether it was anticipation or jealousy that stirred him—both felt eerily the same. The idea of Slade and Carson having dinner, then possibly going back to one of their houses and doing what Atticus had done with both of them … he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. In a sense, it turned him on to think about. But rational human behavior dictated that he be jealous. What if they decided they didn’t need him? What if they found what they were looking for in one another?
Then again, wouldn’t they have done that the first time around?
Atticus tapped out his response.
—He mentioned it. I told him it was a good idea. You two need to talk.
—Is that all you want us to do? And no, that’s not me being a tease. I honestly want to know what your expectations are.
—Fair question. Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer.
—I appreciate your honesty. How about this? Nothing will happen without talking to you first.
Atticus wondered whether Carson believed something would happen no matter what. Based on Atticus’s conversations with Slade this past week, they were building something between them. Something that wasn’t solely based on sex. For Carson to think it would be easy to seduce Slade … well, that felt like ego talking.
Then again, Atticus knew all about Carson’s appeal. Even knowing that the man was a voyeur and couldn’t control his dark desires, Atticus still felt something for him. Perhaps it was merely curiosity since he did wonder what it would be like to be on the watched end of one of Carson’s encounters. And would he really mind if Carson watched him and Slade together? No, he wouldn’t. He could admit that much.
However, he wasn’t as sure about how he would feel to watch Carson and Slade together.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
The story of his life.
***
