Way to go, girl. Talk yourself up by admitting you’re an emotional landmine. Geez.
Evan didn’t say anything, but he was probably thinking it was time to cut the night short. If for no other reason than he didn’t need a crybaby on his couch.
“It’s a stress reliever,” she continued because she didn’t want him to think she was crazy.
“I believe you.”
“Do you, though?” She snorted a laugh. “You look ready to run screaming from the room.”
“I don’t want to run.”
Becs dared to look at him and managed to meet his gaze head on.
“I want to kiss you,” Evan said softly.
It was her turn to be rendered mute.
“Does that scare you?” he prompted.
“A little.”
“Why?”
Becs shrugged. “I’m not good at the whole relationship thing.” She waved a hand and hurriedly added, “Not that this is a relationship. It’s just … I tend to jump to conclusions. My self-esteem isn’t what it used to be.”
She didn’t want to go into detail about how her ex-husband had worn her down emotionally until she was little more than a shell of her original self. It had taken her years to convince herself she deserved better. But there was no denying that self-doubt still lingered.
“Becs?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
She swallowed, hoping the tears didn’t come again because now she was overwhelmed. Emotionally, mentally. She wanted this man with a passion she didn’t recognize anymore. But the physical aspect wasn’t the problem. Kissing him wouldn’t be a problem until she wanted more from him.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, shifting so that both of his feet were on the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees. “That was inappropriate.”
Before Becs knew what she was doing, she had moved closer. “No, it wasn’t.”
“You’re clearly vulnerable, and I’m taking advantage.”
“No,” she said, scooting even closer. “No, you’re not.”
When he didn’t look at her, Becs slid her hand under his chin and urged him to look at her.
“You’re a good man, Evan.” Her gaze dropped to his mouth. “And I want to kiss you, too. But I don’t want you to think that’s what I’m doing. Trying to manipulate you. I’m not used to this. The intimacy thing. I’m out of practice.”
“I know the feeling,” he admitted gruffly.
Becs chuckled, holding his stare.
A small smile formed on his mouth. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
“We are.”
Neither of them spoke for a few dozen heartbeats. As the silence grew heavy, so did the tension between them. Becs leaned in when Evan did. And when their lips met, those tears she was fighting threatened once again.
She could so easily fall in love with this man.
