Laikyn frowned.
I pressed firmly.
“Me?” she asked. “You need me?”
I nodded. Laikyn and Rule were the only ones I needed. Hell, they were the only ones I’d everwanted. I learned at a young age not to rely on others and not to get your hopes up because most people failed you. Until Rule came into my life, I thought the only person who would ever make me feel safe was my grandmother. He proved me wrong, and until Laikyn came into the picture, I hadn’t realized how much I’d come to rely on him.
“You have me, Jinx,” Laikyn whispered. “The question is, what do you want to do with me?”
Since I couldn’t tell her, I decided to show her by easing down on my side so that I was lying beside her. I slipped my arm beneath her head and cupped her jaw with my other hand, continuing to kiss her softly. When she turned into me, I inhaled deeply, soaking up her warmth.
In all my life, I’d never made out with a woman. Not like this. I’d fucked plenty, but even my first time hadn’t been anything special. I’d lost my virginity to a woman a decade older than me, and while she’d been good at getting me off, she hadn’t wanted anything more. At seventeen, I hadn’t realized there was more to it than that, so I’d mirrored that encounter with my future fucks, keeping them at arm’s length because it made sense to me.
With Rule, it was different. He would say it was purely physical, but he was lying to himself. We both knew it. While there was more there than either of us admitted, we didn’t cuddle. Hell, we didn’t even sleep in the same bed. Maybe once or twice when one of us was too exhausted to move. We took for granted what we had because we expected the other to always be there. If the day ever came when that wasn’t the case, I knew he would be as lost as I was. I didn’t need him to tell me as much, although it would’ve been nice if he acknowledged it.
I never realized what I was missing out on until the night Laikyn had slept in my arms.
Since then, I’d hoped to explore more of that. I didn’t mind fucking for the sake of fucking, but I wasn’t going to pretend there wasn’t something more here. She might not feel it, but I did. And while I didn’t have to admit it, I damn sure wasn’t going to pretend I wanted nothing more than to shove my dick inside her to sate the urge.
* * *
Rule
After placing the pizza order, I stoodat the back door and stared at Jinx and Laikyn, watching as they made out on the couch like a couple of teenagers. Oddly, I didn’t feel the urge to roll my eyes even though I was sure that was the correct reaction.
No, I found a foreign sense of relief in their interactions, the way Jinx loomed above her, kissing her gently while her hands moved over him. It was the exact opposite of the encounter I’d experienced with Laikyn a short while ago. I’d fucked her like a starving man. And when it was over, I wanted to fuck her again. Only I didn’t because I’d realized Jinx wasn’t there. I wasn’t sure when he slipped out or why, but I’d felt his absence.
I’d never felt that before. That absence. Like a part of me had disappeared, and deep down, I feared it was gone forever. I wasn’t supposed to feel shit like that. For anyone.
Laikyn was changing me. That was the only conclusion I could come to. She was making me see things from a different perspective. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Or rather, I hadn’t been sure until I saw Jinx and Laikyn making out on the couch. Now … well, now I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on because something about this entire situation felt oddly right. As though the three of us were meant to be right here, right now. Together.
And yes, I realized how fucked up that sounded. I’d insisted Laikyn fuck both of us or neither because I’d wanted to keep my distance from her. Two weeks later, here I was, writing endings like this was a romance novel or some shit. Endings that didn’t make sense because there was no way that Laikyn was going to want to have anything to do with me when this was all over. Once she realized I’d manipulated her the same way her mother did, she would walk away and never look back. I wouldn’t even blame her.
Yet, for this brief moment I wanted to pretend that the future wasn’t laid out already. That the ending wasn’t written because there was more to this than I’d anticipated.
17
Laikyn
“Hello, princess. I didn’t expect to seeyou back here so soon.”
“What? No. No, no.” I spun around, searching for an exit but finding only bars surrounding me. “I’m not supposed to be here.”
“But you came to me.” Diggy’s crooked-toothed smile sent a shiver up my spine. “I always knew you’d be back. You missed me, didn’t you? The way we used to talk for hours into the night.” He sneered as he moved closer. “You liked hearing all the dirty things I was going to do to you when that timer hit zero.”
“No,” I countered, my chest squeezing. I had to get out of here. “Rule saved me. He killed you.”
“Rule? Is that his name? The guy who put a bullet in my face?”
“Leave me alone,” I told Diggy, running my hands over the bars on the far side, searching for a way out.
“You came back, princess. You came back to see me.”
“No. No, I didn’t. I hate you.”
“Your mouth says so, but your body says otherwise.”
“No!” I stepped back when Diggy moved toward the door to the cell. “Leave me alone! I mean it!”
