“Then where’s the harm in seein’ where it goes?”
Trey stood tall, met his stare head on. His anger and hurt made his voice louder and deeper. “Because if it doesn’t work out, I’m gonna be gutted, Magnus. Is that what you want to hear? That I fuckin’ love you? That I don’t know if I can live without you? And that I can’t trust what I feel for Ava because I’ve never felt it before? I’m gay, goddammit! Don’t you fuckin’ get that? I’ve never had sex with a woman. I’ve never wanted to!”
Magnus didn’t lash out, taking Trey’s anger in stride because he’d never heard a single emotion come out of Trey’s mouth, and the man had nearly leveled him with it now.
“So, yeah, I fuckin’ liked when she kissed me.” Trey’s blue-gray eyes were wild. “But was it real? Or was I tryin’ to make it real so I wouldn’t have to give you up?”
Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat. He honestly hadn’t considered that. And truth be told, he’d never seen it from Trey’s perspective.
Keeping his tone level, he decided since they were laying it all out on the table, he might as well get real with Trey.
“I’m bisexual, Trey. It’s not somethin’ I experimented with. I didn’t play around and learn that, yeah, I can get off either way. Since I hit puberty, I’ve found both sexes equally appealing. And then, Ididexperiment. I dated in high school, and I didn’t discriminate because I didn’t fuckin’ care what people thought. And then I graduated to havin’ sex. Again, it didn’t matter. But the second real feelings started to arise, I realized that I wanted somethin’ different from most people because I fuckin’feelsomethin’ different.” His voice grew louder as his frustration ratcheted up. “There’s a difference between a man and a woman, and I’m not just talkin’ physically. Ifeelsomething different for you than I do for Ava. Ultimately, it’s the same, but it’s vastly different.
“That’s where the hole comes from,” Magnus admitted, feeling defeated. “There’s a hole in my life, and it comes from not gettin’ what I need because you’re not capable of givin’ me what Ava can and vice versa.” He exhaled heavily, suddenly so tired he could hardly breathe anymore. “I have tried so fuckin’ hard this past year and a half to convince myself that you’re enough for me because, goddammit, Trey, youareenough. It’s not you who’s broken. It’s me. It was fuckin’ easy to be happy with you because I fell in love with you, and the woman I’ve been in love with for years was married. She was off-limits, so I allowed myself to believe thatknowin’I loved her was enough, but then…
“It’s never been about findin’ two people who are compatible, Trey. I want love like everyone else. And I found it, but I don’t know how to have it all because, in all fairness, I never considered what it would mean to you or Ava when askin’ y’all to commit to me.”
***
Ava wasn’t sure she could breathe asshe stood at the back door and listened to them.
She’d heard every shouted word—the neighbors probably had, too—which explained the tears streaming down her face. Never had she heard that kind of torment come from anyone before. Certainly not two men who’d just pledged their love for one another.
When there were no more heated exchanges, she mustered up the courage and opened the door, not bothering to hide her tears.
Magnus saw her first, his forehead creasing with worry. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I heard you.” Ava looked at Trey. “Both of you.”
He looked embarrassed, but she didn’t care. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. She could understand more how Trey felt than she could Magnus because, like Trey, she only liked one gender. She’d never even wanted to experiment with women. But she wasn’t the one who had to concede, because if they did give this a chance, she was getting the best of both worlds. So was Magnus. But Trey … he had to compromise, and that broke her heart because she already loved him, and she knew Magnus did, too.
“I owe you an apology,” Ava began, stepping toward Trey. “Maybe a couple if you count your paycheck.”
His eyebrow quirked.
“I shouldn’t have done that, but I needed to talk to you, and you refused.” She held up her hands in surrender. “Doesn’t make it okay, I know.” Ava took a deep breath. “But I am sincerely sorry for kissing you. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I only thought about what I wanted, not how it would make you feel. Can you forgive me?”
Trey continued to stare at her for the longest time. Ava was seconds away from apologizing again when he took one step toward her. It closed the distance between them and forced her to crane her neck back to look him in the eye. She gasped when he tilted his head to the side and leaned down, sealing his mouth over hers.
For some reason, she wanted to cry even as she prayed that he wasn’t thinking how horrible this was because, as far as she was concerned, it was amazing. He was gentle yet dominant, his tongue urging her lips apart, licking his way inside her. When he sought entrance, she gave it freely, sliding her tongue against his. But it wasn’t until his arm curled around her back and his hand cradled her head as he deepened the kiss that the emotion choked her, and she sniffled.
Trey pulled back instantly, and the look on his face was one of deep regret. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t,” she said quickly, reaching for him so she could bring that wonderful mouth back to hers. This timeshekissedhim, and he let her. His tongue danced with hers as his arm banded around her back, pulling her tightly against him. They inhaled each other until they had no choice but to pull back or suffocate.
“Oh, fuck me,” Trey whispered, staring into her eyes. “I’ve never…”
Ava searched his face, trying to figure out what he was going to say, but he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he turned to Magnus and stared for an interminably long time before he stepped forward and kissed him. They came together like freight trains colliding, their powerful bodies dueling for supremacy as Trey fought to push Magnus back against the wall. She’d never seen anything as magnificent as the two of them like this.
When they separated, they were both breathing hard. Ava was, too, although she wasn’t sure why. Maybe the thermostat was broken, because she was sure it was as hot inside as it was outside.
“What do we do now?” she asked when they both looked bewildered and confused.
“I should go,” Trey said softly.
Uh …whatnow? That was the exact opposite of what she’d been thinking.
He ran his fingers through his hair, brushing the long, silky strands back from his face. He looked perplexed, and she could only imagine why. Seriously … that kiss had been mind-blowing.
