“Nothing,” she said on a sob.
Magnus took a seat next to her, but this time he didn’t leave space between them. Nothing had really changed between them since the last conversation they’d had or the night she slept in his bed after Trey had drunk-dialed him, but Magnus wasn’t quite as standoffish as he had been.
“Talk to me,” Magnus urged, putting his arm around her shoulder.
Ava couldn’t stop herself. She leaned into him, pressing her cheek to his chest and resting her palm on his stomach. For a few minutes, she just wanted him to hold her. If he would do that, she would be able to pull herself back together.
She wasn’t sure how long they sat in silence, but her tears finally stopped, and her breathing evened out.
“Thank you,” she whispered, patting his chest lightly before sitting up.
“Did somethin’ happen at therapy?”
Ava swallowed hard, her teeth locking together. “No.”
Magnus brushed his thumb over her cheek. It was a sweet gesture, causing her to risk looking at him for the first time since he came into the room. As soon as she did, the tears returned.
“Baby, talk to me.”
Oh, God.Thatdidn’t help. It was like he was soothing a wild animal, but instead of making her feel better, it unraveled her more. How long had it been since anyone had spoken to her so gently?
She turned away from him, not wanting him to see her cry anymore. She didn’t get up because she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her, but she refused to look at him. The next thing she knew, she was recounting what had happened that night.
“It came on so suddenly. Or it felt that way,” she began, her voice so low she wasn’t sure he could even hear her. “He told me he wanted to have sex, and I told him no. I’d never told him no before. Not like that. Not to his face. But I didn’t want to have sex with him. Not ever again. I was still pissed because earlier that day, he told me he was gonna have my mother committed to a mental hospital, and this time he was gonna make sure she stayed there forever.” She snorted. “And the bastard thought I would have sex with him after that? I told him he was crazy.”
She glanced down at her hands. “He told me he would show me crazy.” Ava had to pause for a moment as the memory assaulted her. “He wasn’t lying. He grabbed me by the hair and slammed the side of my head into the wall. He’d hit me plenty of times, but never in the face. Never where anyone could see. It hurt so bad.”
Ava took a deep breath, wishing she could stop, but the words kept coming, although it felt like they were cutting off her air.
“My legs gave out. I slid to the floor.” She could still feel the queasiness that had consumed her. “He kept pulling my hair, dragging me down the hall. I pushed off with my feet to keep him from ripping my hair out.” The pain had blinded her. “He laughed and said I was a stupid little girl who needed to be punished.”
Ava realized she was sobbing uncontrollably. She tried to get to her feet, but Magnus banded an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. He didn’t let go, holding her tight, his forehead pressed to the back of her head.
“Tell me, Ava. I need to know as much as you need to get it out.”
She stopped fighting him, covering her face with her hands as she sobbed. She was unable to stop the mortification that flowed through her. She’d been so weak that night. So powerless. No one had ever made her feel like that before.
“He did what he promised. He punished me. But it was different than the other times. He acted like I wasn’t human,” Ava whispered, sucking in gulps of air. “He punched me in the face, and when I hit the ground, he kicked me in the stomach, then yanked me back to my feet. I begged and pleaded. I tried to fight him off, but he would only hit me harder. The more I cried, the more he hit me. I begged him to stop. So many times.”
The hell was on vibrant replay inside her head. Ava could almost swear she felt the blazing fires burning through every inch of her body.
Her voice was thick with tears as she continued. “I remember saying his name, hoping to get through to him, but that pissed him off more. He started screaming in my face, landing blows on the side of my head. I hit the floor and tried to back away from him. He stopped me by putting his foot on my leg, and when I tried to get free, he put his entire weight on that leg and lifted his other foot off the ground. The pain was so intense I screamed bloody murder. He laughed and grabbed me by the hair, told me tostand up, you little bitch,” she said in a voice mocking his. “I tried. I told him I thought my leg was broken. He didn’t care. He told me he’d break the other if I didn’t shut up. I screamed every time he hit me. He would get in my face and shout for me to shut up. I couldn’t. Fire blazed through my entire body.”
Magnus’s grip on her tightened, and Ava realized she was digging her fingernails into his arm. She relaxed her hand. “He picked me up and threw me on the bed. I tried to scramble off, but my leg wouldn’t work, and the pain made me dizzy. He grabbed me by my wrist and yanked so hard I heard something snap. I screamed again, and that’s when he ripped at my clothes.”
Ava hated this. She hated reliving that night. The monster was dead, so she didn’t understand why she had to go back there, but now that she was talking, she couldn’t seem to stop.
“He clawed at me, purposely trying to inflict as much pain as possible. I couldn’t stop crying, which made it worse. He wanted to see me cry. He started calling me names. Told me I was a frigid bitch. Said he was gonna fuck me until I bled. Then he shoved my legs apart. I bit my lip because fire blazed through my entire right side. I remember feeling a wash of cold move over me right after. He slapped me in the face, then shoved his dick inside me.” She swallowed. “I’m not sure when the pain stopped, but I didn’t feel anything anymore. It’s like my mind shut down to block it all out. I was aware of what he was doing, but I didn’t feel it.”
Magnus pressed his face into her shoulder, and that’s when Ava realized he was crying, too. It pained her that he had to relive this with her.
“After he got off, he went to the bathroom. I thought he would leave me alone after that. I couldn’t move. My hand and leg were useless. I should’ve sucked it up and run out the door, but I couldn’t. He came back fully dressed in jeans and a ratty old T-shirt. I’d never seen him wear anything like that before. I guess he didn’t want to get blood on his good clothes. He told me to get up because we needed to go to the doctor. I ignored him. I just wanted him to go away.”
Ava took a deep breath and forged ahead. “He told me I had five minutes to get up and get dressed. He left the room.”
She sat there for a moment as some of the tension eased out of her body. She covered Magnus’s arms with hers, stealing the warmth of his body. She felt safe with him, and that’s the only reason she could get through this. Ava knew without a doubt that Magnus would move heaven and earth to ensure nothing ever happened to her again.
“I thought it was over,” she said, some of the emotion draining out of her words. “I started to feel some relief, like maybe I wasn’t going to die at his hands. That was short-lived when he came back a little while later. He saw that I was still on the bed, and he got furious. He called my name, but I didn’t look at him. He screamed my name several more times in my face. I still didn’t look at him. I saw him reach for the candle holder on the dresser. It was one of those tall metal ones with a thick base and a little ring to hold it. He picked it up by the tapered end and wielded it like a baseball bat. He slammed it down on my chest. I think he meant to hit me in the face. I’m not sure if he missed or if he changed his mind. I think that’s what broke my clavicle.”
