“You were the only person I was thinkin’ about the entire time. I wanted to tell her. Ineededto tell her. For me. Because I wanted it to be out there. But I couldn’t.”
He took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and wrangled his emotions back down.
“And when I got shot…” He swallowed the emotion clogging his throat. “When I got shot, the only thing I thought about was seein’ you again. You were the only thing that mattered.”
Brantley’s arm tightened behind him, pulling him in closer as his chin pressed to the top of Reese’s head. “It still pisses me off that I damn near lost you that night,” he whispered. “That I couldn’t’ve helped even if I’d wanted to because I didn’t know where you were.”
Reese felt the tsunami of emotion churn in his chest. It was the same thing that happened whenever he thought about how badly he’d fucked up that night. The thought of losing the most important thing, the mostpreciousthing in his life … it stole his breath and made his heart ache.
“You can’t blame Max for that.”
Brantley grunted, his grip loosening somewhat.
More silence descended, and Reese remained quiet until he felt some of the tension leave Brantley’s body.
“When I think back on that night, I see myself starin’ down the barrel of that gun.” Reese had to inhale slowly and deeply to keep his composure. “I remember thinkin’ that I was gonna die, and I wasn’t gonna get the chance to apologize for bein’ a jackass.”
When Brantley didn’t move, Reese lifted his head, propping himself up on his elbow and staring down at Brantley. He dragged a finger along Brantley’s jaw, met his steel-blue gaze.
“I was so scared. Before that moment,” he amended. “I was terrified because not once in my life had I felt the way I do when I’m with you. Truth is, I never thought it was possible to truly fall in love, to have what my mom and dad had. Then I saw you for the first time, and somethin’ clicked inside me. A light came on, and a new possibility presented itself.”
He took a deep breath, got lost in the emotion churning in Brantley’s eyes.
“It scared the shit outta me, Brantley. It didn’t make sense. I mean, Z’s gay. Not me, right?”
When Brantley’s gaze cut away, Reese turned the man’s chin, forcing him to look at him.
“Gay, straight … whatever label you wanna put on it, I didn’t understand how I could’ve gone my entire life and never known. I questioned everything I did, everything I felt, tried to understand how I’d repressed such an important part of myself.” Reese’s gaze bounced over Brantley’s face. “It wasn’t until I hashed it out with my therapist that I realized I hadn’t repressed anything. I just hadn’t met you yet.”
He saw the surprise in Brantley’s eyes.
He kept his voice soft and even as he continued. “It wasn’t that I was straight; I just hadn’t met the one person I was meant to be with to know any different. But that night at Moonshiners, when I first saw you for the first time … I felt a connection to you before I knew who you were. I knew you were gonna change my life.” He smiled, ensuring Brantley saw the love in his eyes. “You did. In ways you can never imagine.”
Brantley’s hand slid over the back of his head, his fingers gliding through Reese’s hair. “You didn’t come back,” he rasped, his voice tight, tormented. “I thought you were never comin’ back.”
Leaning in, Reese pressed a kiss to Brantley’s lips. “I was always comin’ back. I had to get right in the head first. You deserved more than I’d given you, and I wanted to be in the right frame of mind to give you everything you deserve. You’ve given me your whole heart from the very beginnin’, and you deserved the same from me.”
Brantley’s eyes danced over his face, and Reese hoped he saw the sincerity behind his words. Nothing in this world had ever felt as right as being with this man. He’d endured hell and walked out the other side, but it wasn’t until he met Brantley that Reese realized there’d been a reason for that, a reason he hadn’t died in that hellhole he’d been locked in for months, the endless days and nights of torture. He’d endured and prayed for one reason.
His name was Brantley Walker.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Whatcha workin’ on?” Baz asked JJ ashe approached the desk she was seated at. He glanced down to see Tesha snoozing at her feet, and he smiled. His woman loved that dog, and he knew the feeling was mutual. Sure, Tesha still preferred Reese and Brantley, but her time with JJ was special.
JJ’s fingers stopped flying over the keyboard as she looked up at him and smiled. “I was thinkin’ about that burner phone we were tryin’ to track. You know, for Toby Land. It’s impossible to trace it, but I thought maybe he had another.”
“More than one phone?”
She offered a slight shrug. “It seems like he’s into somethin’ shady,” she said, as though her thoughts needed defending. “Not that he is. I don’t know for sure, but…”
“I’m with you, JJ. I think there’s more to this than meets the eye.”
Her eyes softened. “Glad I’m not the only one.”
Baz nodded his chin toward her computer. “What’d you find?”
JJ took a deep breath. “I figure if he’s not on the up-and-up, why wouldn’t he have more than one? Let’s him dispose of one if necessary and still have a backup.”
