“Was that the first time?”
“Yes.”
Her gaze shifted to the photos briefly before returning to him. “Was that the only time y’all were intimate that I don’t know about?”
“No.”
He could see the hurt in her eyes. “Let me guess. Whatever it was happened right before Luke’s party.”
“Yes.” Elijah could tell she wanted more details, so he explained how he had given Logan a blow job when Logan had been working out. “I reacted,” he tacked on. “I was fed up with how he was acting, so I pushed. He didn’t reciprocate, so it’s completely on me.”
Her eyebrows dipped low. “You’re not to blame for this, Eli. This is on me.”
“Sam—”
She held up a hand. “It’s true. I’m the one who instigated this at the cabin. I set it in motion.”
“We shouldn’t have kept it from you.”
“No,” she agreed. “You shouldn’t have. What did you think I would do? Get angry?”
He didn’t respond. The last thing he wanted to tell Sam was that he didn’t tell her because those moments had felt private between him and Logan. And yes, partly because he didn’t want her to get upset. They had yet to define how this was supposed to work.
“Y’all seem to forget that I understand how complicated this is.” Her voice wavered slightly. “It wasn’t too long ago that I fell in love with you. And what you and I have … I don’t always share it with Logan.”
He honestly hadn’t thought about it that way, but yeah, he could see her point. It was almost the same thing, but now in reverse.
“I get it, Eli. I do. What I don’t understand is why Logan is shutting me out. I don’t need the details, damn it.”
He cocked an eyebrow because he wasn’t sure he believed that.
“I don’t,” she repeated hotly. “What I need is honesty. I need some reassurances. Not for my husband to run away because he’s confused about his feelings.”
“Did he say that he was?”
“No, but I’m not stupid. You two might think I don’t notice the heated glances, but I live here, too. I can feel the tension coming off both of you all the damn time.” She sighed heavily. “What kind of idiot would I have to be not to see that y’all want some privacy? I mean, seriously. Logan waited until I was in Vegas before making a move on you.”
He had no idea what to say to that, so he sat silently, watching the defeat on her beautiful face.
“I’m gonna go to bed,” she finally said, setting her glass on the coffee table. “I appreciate you telling me, though it might just be too little too late.”
His chest constricted, the pain those words incited was breathtaking. The thought of losing Sam because of this… It was more than he could bear.
Two hours later, after he made himself a sandwich and managed to choke down half of it, Elijah decided to go to bed. He considered sleeping in the other room but changed his mind. He was not about to put more distance between him and Sam than there already was. He needed to work on a way to salvage what the three of them had, not cause more problems.
He quietly entered their bedroom, stripped out of his clothes, then crawled into bed behind Sam. She was curled up, hugging Logan’s pillow. It wasn’t until he was pressed up against her, spooning her, that he felt her body shudder, heard her soft sobs.
“Sam,” he whispered, gently gripping her shoulder and rolling her to her back. He propped himself up and peered down into her face. It was too dark to make out much, but he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb, turning her face to look at him.
“You’re breaking my heart,” he said softly.
“Since mine is shattered, it seems fair,” she retorted, turning toward him and burying her face in his chest.
He slid his hand over her hair, consoling her the best he could, although there was a cold chill deep in his bones. It was fear, he realized. Fear of losing the most precious thing in his life.
For the past four days, Elijah had dissected every second of his time with Sam and Logan. He’d thought about the good times, stressed over the bad. As he was doing that, he’d realized this was possibly the worst position they’d ever been in. At least as far as their relationship went.
“Sam?”
