“Yes, baby,” he growled. “Come for me, Sam. Oh, fuck, yes.”
She bit her lip but couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped as she succumbed to the tsunami that engulfed her. A moment later, Logan was right there, slamming in deep as he came with a groan that rumbled against her neck.
When he lifted his head, he cupped her face, met her stare. “I love you, Sam. Never, ever forget that.”
The Sahara Desert took up residence in her throat, making it impossible to swallow. She saw a myriad of emotions burning in his hazel eyes, and it choked her. For some reason, that sounded far too dire for such a declaration.
Little did she know, but that one intimate moment was the prelude to the storm she’d been fearing.
***
After Logan and Sam left for dinner, Elijah decided he needed to get out of the house. He figured he’d done a damn good job hiding his reaction to Logan’s strange behavior. He’d made it through the weekend without confronting the man, but when Logan had abruptly declared he was taking Sam out tonight, Elijah had known the worst wasn’t over yet.
So he decided to come to the one place where he knew he didn’t have to pretend or hide what was weighing on him.
“Hey, honey, it’s me,” Elijah said as he took a seat on the cool grass that surrounded his wife’s headstone. “I know it’s been a while.”
He reached forward, brushed a stray leaf off of the marble before he laid out the flowers—a dozen white roses—he’d purchased on his way over here.
“I needed someone to talk to, figured you wouldn’t mind listening.” He leaned back, planting his palms on the ground and stretching his legs out before him. “It’s about Sam and Logan.”
For the longest time after he had gotten involved with Sam, Elijah had never mentioned her to Beth when he came to visit her grave. He always kept his conversations on safer topics like work and the club. Then time had moved forward, and he’d used Beth as his sounding board. Although she was no longer of this earth, he could still feel her when he was here. As though she visited when he did, just so they could have a little time together. The more he had revealed, the stronger he’d sensed her until he had convinced himself that she was glad to know he’d gotten a second chance at love.
It was probably all in his head, but Elijah had come to enjoy the time he was here. He still missed Beth, still thought about her, but the pain that had come from the loss had eased until he was left with only fond memories. He figured he had Sam to thank for that. From the very beginning, Sam had made a point of ensuring Beth was as welcome in their lives as he was. She’d even put her picture in the living room, among the photos of Logan and Sam. As time moved forward and their lives became intertwined, more pictures appeared alongside it, many of him and Sam, one of the three of them smiling. After a while, Elijah had stopped staring at the photos of Beth, his gaze straying toward Sam more and more.
“Things have gotten … complicated,” he said aloud, letting his gaze stray to the trees that surrounded the area. “I’m not sure when things changed for me, but I’ve recently learned something about myself. Something I doubt even you could’ve predicted.”
Elijah swallowed, smiled as he swore he could feel her presence.
“I recently had an encounter with Logan,” he admitted for the first time aloud. “Well, technically, there’ve been a few now, but it started last year. When we went to the cabin for the holidays. I told you about it, remember? Sam was up to her usual games, convinced us to play.” He chuckled softly. “Little does she know, but we put up a fight more for her benefit. I love her games because they seem to make her happy.
“Anyway, I ended up kissing Logan that night.”
He let that admission hang in the air for a minute while he decided how to explain it.
“Something shifted inside me that night, Beth. Like a switch had been flipped on.”
He took a deep breath, let it out. Saying the words aloud felt like acceptance, and he wondered if he should feel guilty for burdening Beth.
The breeze kicked up briefly, stirring the flowers lying on the headstone.
“To say it was strange is an understatement. I mean, kissing a man. Odd, right? I could’ve never imagined kissing James.”
Elijah thought back to the polyamorous relationship he’d been in with Beth and his best friend, James. What the three of them had shared was significantly different than what he had with Logan and Sam, but it had been a high point in his life for a while. But never had he felt even an inkling of attraction to James.
“Kissing Logan … I’d been hesitant but not scared.” He laughed. “Okay, that’s a lie. I was terrified, but not because I was going to kiss a man.”
He stared ahead and continued, “I’ve done some interesting things in my life, Beth, and I doubt that ranked at the top of the list. But it was when I was kissing Logan that I realized I’d been wanting to … I guess the right word isexplore.”
He took a deep breath, crossed his ankles. “It changed me. Made me see a side of myself I hadn’t realized was there. After that, nothing happened for the longest time despite Sam’s constant encouragement.” He smiled as he thought about Sam. “I told you, that’s her way, and I love her for it.”
Usually, this was the point when he paused, filled with regret for admitting that he loved another woman when he’d always thought Beth would be it for him. But somewhere along the way, his love for Sam had become so important to him, he’d felt the need to share it with Beth. He felt blessed by the fact that he’d known the love of two incredible women in his life. Some people didn’t get lucky enough to have the love of one, much less two.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “She thinks she’s discreet, but I know what she’s up to. I didn’t mind her subtle interference, but I think Logan did. Then, about a month ago, Logan and I were alone. We explored a little more, and it ramped up my curiosity. I knew then that I wanted something from him. I don’t know what yet, but I know it’s more than I’ve gotten so far.”
He took a deep breath, glanced over as a car passed along the narrow road that wound through the cemetery. He watched it until it was out of sight.
“You’re probably wondering if it’s a physical thing.” He sighed. “Yes and no. That certainly spurred it, I’m sure. I just don’t think that’s all it is. It feels like more for me, Beth. More than a mere physical attraction.”
