Chapter Nineteen
Saturday, July 23, 2022
When Elijah suggested they go to Devotion, Sam hadn’t been sure she could deal with seeing so many of her friends. Since the thought of sitting at home and waiting to see if Logan would show up had felt like an even worse option, she hadn’t been able to refuse.
As she sat at one of the small tables with Sierra, she couldn’t remember if she’d ever been here without Logan. It didn’t matter. Right now, she didn’t care that he wasn’t here. Well, that was only a small lie. She did care because she wanted him to explain why he’d disappeared and what he’d accomplished while he was gone. Thanks to Sierra spilling that she’d convinced Luke to go after him, the fear and anxiety she’d had when she first learned that Logan went to Chicago had been replaced by anger, which grew increasingly stronger as each day passed and he didn’t come home.
Since the moment she learned that Logan had been spotted at Dichotomy, she had purposely ignored every single one of his phone calls. It was a petty way of paying him back for hurting her, but she couldn’t help it. Sam was a lot of things, but she was loyal and committed, and she never would’ve considered pulling the stunt Logan had. No matter how difficult things got between them. He’d left without so much as a word to do what? Hang out at a BDSM club? Who did that? Certainly not any married couples she knew. Add to it the fact that Logan hadn’t bothered to tell either of them when he was coming home—then Friday had come and gone—she had finally reached her tipping point.
So she spent a few hours at Devotion, hanging with her friends and pretending nothing was wrong. She watched Elijah from across the room, not wanting to interrupt since he seemed to be in a deep conversation with Cole. She wondered what they talked about. Were they comparing notes, maybe? Like how Logan was pulling a stunt that Luke was famous for? Or rather, he had been before he’d settled down and accepted who he was.
Was that it? Was Logan confused about what he wanted? Or maybe he’d realized what hedidn’twant and was too scared to tell them? The most troubling question was: what if he didn’t wantheranymore?
Her chest constricted, making it hard to breathe. She reminded herself that there were others here. She damn sure didn’t want them to see her fall apart.
“Ummm … Sam.”
Pulling herself from her scattered thoughts, she glanced over at Sierra. Her best friend was staring behind her, so she turned to see Logan walking in, his hands tucked in his pockets and the full heat of his gaze on her.
Her heart kicked hard in her chest. At least he was alive and well. The relief was potent but not nearly strong enough to chase away her anger.
As she stared at him, she considered launching to her feet and storming out, but she remained still. Sierra was the only person who knew that Logan hadn’t simply gone on a business trip this week, and she didn’t want everyone to know her business.
She cast a dismissive glance his way, then turned her attention back to the Sierra. Unfortunately, her friend chose that moment to excuse herself. Rather than grab Sierra’s arm and force her to remain in her seat, Sam sighed heavily and resigned herself to confronting Logan here and now.
“Hey, baby,” he said when he approached.
Her chest tightened at the soft hum of his words even as the knife edge of her anger dug into her soul.
She tried to be flippant when she said, “Hey,” back, but the quiver in her voice clearly gave her away.
“Can I join you?”
Her breath shuddered. When had they gotten to a place where he had to ask something like that?
She managed a nod as she stared up and drank in the sight of him. He looked good, although she could see storm clouds brewing in his hazel eyes. She prayed that was remorse and not guilt etched into the hard lines of his face.
Not trusting her voice, she gestured toward the chair Sierra had vacated.
Logan pulled it around closer to her, then sat down. He left her no room to move when he spread his knees wide and scooted even closer.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice so low she could barely hear him.
“You should be,” she bit back, intending to let him hear her fury, but a sob came out and ruined the effect. Not in all the time she’d known him had he hurt her quite this much. They’d been through so much together, but never once had he done something like this. Turned his back on her. Abandoned her.
“Sam.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath.
“Baby, look at me.”
She couldn’t, but he stole her choice from her by lightly gripping her chin and turning her head toward him.
When their eyes met, she felt the tears forming, hated herself for being such a wuss when she wanted to blast him for doing this, for jeopardizing all they’d built over the years.
Sam pulled back, shook her head, and swallowed the hot ball of emotion clogging her throat. “I can’t do this here, Logan. I can’t.”
She pushed to her feet and walked away, heading right for Elijah.
