Nausea churns in my gut. It makes sense in a way that none of this truly has until now. Sending me after Taliesin Wynn isn’t about testing how well I can resurrect someone, or how long they can survive if they’re more than a stranger to me. It’s about testing my fullnecromancy. Kill, resurrect, control. They know my worst truth, my greatest secret. And judging by how quickly they put my assignment together, they’vealwaysknown.
They’ve been waiting for me to slip.
Taliesin pushes off the ground. He gently takes my chin in his hand, then shifts my attention toward him. His eyes flicker across my face. Concern furrows the line between his brow, and it’s been so long since anyone has looked at me like this, I can’t stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” he murmurs. “Is it the Order? Osian? Because they will answer for what they’ve done.”
Osian’s name feels wrong on his tongue. I pull away, pacing to the middle of the room. But then his name echoes in my mind again.Osian. He’s the only one I told about that aspect of my power. I have never used it that way, so no one could have witnessed it by accident. There’s only one way they know. He told them.
The betrayal cuts as deep as any sword. I grip the side of the platform, leaning against the broken stone, hissing between my teeth. I want to believe Osian would never turn on me like that, that he would take my secrets to his grave like he swore he would.
And maybe once he would have. Back at the academy. Before we were partners. Before I funnelled the Order’s strength-enhancing magic into his body every time we went on a mission.
Because he didn’t trust me. He thought my monstrous death magic would bleed into the Order’s, corrupting him and turning him into something I could control.
I sag against the stone. Everything—and everyone—I ever trusted lies to me.
Uses me.
Despisesme.
“ItisOsian,” Taliesin mutters from across the room. “I’m going to fucking kill the bastard.”
My eyes snap to his face. “Don’t you dare touch him.”
He laughs humorlessly. “That man could rip your heart out your chest, eat it for breakfast, and you’d still defend him.” He takes a slow step toward me, his eyes full of fire. “Tell me, Swynwraig. What could he have possibly done to inspire that kind of loyalty?”
For a moment, I’m speechless. BecauseI don’t know. I don’t stars-damned know why I love him as much as I do. But maybe you don’t need a reason to love someone. Maybe you just feel it.
Still, my chest tightens. There’s truth in that, but it rings hollow when I think of Osian.
“He’s myfamily. The only person who has cared enough to stay by my side all these years,” I try to explain. “The only one who hasn’t run from me and my magic.”
“The only one you can remember not running.”
I flinch.
“Think about it.” He takes another step toward me, slowly, like I’m a wild animal who might bolt at any sudden movement. “How convenient that your magic takes such a toll on your mind, making you forget things. How much easier it would be for the Order to convince you to do what they want if you have just one anchor, one constant tying them to you. One person you remember caring for you, a person who just happens to be a Rhyfelwr who needs you at his side.”
The tears are storming down my face now, hot and furious on my flushed cheeks. I swipe at them, but they just keep coming. Taliesin’s words have ripped a hole in my heart, not because he’s being cruel, not because he’s trying to hurt me, but because he’s given voice to my worst fears.
Fears I’ve shoved into the furthest corners of my mind, so I wouldn’t have to acknowledge them.
Buried, bottled up, torn apart at the seams. Whatever it took to keep them down.
Taliesin’s gaze sweeps over me, and a tortured expression settles over his face. His hands fall heavily to his sides. “Please don’t cry. I said too much. My hatred of the Order made me—”
Ascrapebounces off the iron walls.
I draw in a sharp breath, turning toward the passage that leads back to the outside world. An agonizing silence followsuntil a gentle wind pushes a dead leaf into the chamber, its brittle edges scraping across the stone. I release my breath, shaking my head at myself. All of this, it’s getting to me. My nerves are frayed beyond belief.
“We got what we came for,” I say, my voice thin and strained from all the tears. “We should go.”
“Get behind me,” he commands.
My stomach drops. “Why?”
But then I hear it, anotherscrape. It’s far too loud to pass as a leaf this time. I pull my dagger from my waistband and fall in behind him, shifting to the side just enough to view the passageway.
