He waved a slice of bread at me. “Frida ‘Determined’ Rurik has given up that easily? I’m sure you can convince him to listen to you.”
“I would rather be Frida ‘Sympathetic’ Rurik,” I said with a frown. “Rune, the dragon is afraid of flying to Oakwater, which wouldn’t even take him more than a few minutes. There’s no way I’m asking him to fly all the way back to the mainland.”
He searched my gaze. “So what are you going to do? Stay here instead?”
“No. I suppose I’ll just have to return empty-handed. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. I can make something up.”
“Right. We’re back to that, then.” Rune sighed. “At least try to help Eldi before you go.”
“Help him how?”
“With a little patience and a lot of encouragement, I bet you can help him fly to the village. If he can master that, he can visit anytime, and then he won’t be so lonely anymore. It’d be good for him.”
I chewed on my fish, examining Rune’s face for any sign he was joking. But he looked deadly serious.
“You want me to convince a dragon that his fears are meaningless?”
“Meaningless? No. But he can overcome them enough to reach the village, don’t you think? And then you can return to the guild and tell Erik whatever you think is best.”
I squinted at him. “You don’t sound particularly happy about that plan.”
Rune leaned back in his chair, eyeing me with an intensity that seared me. “You and the dragon have a lot in common, Frida. You said you could feel the loneliness rolling off of him, like a wave that might pull you under. Well, I’ve felt that same thing from you. It’s not a feeling I’d wish upon anyone. And so if you believe the guild will make you happy, then you should go back to them. Because you deserve to be happy. Same as anyone else.”
I swallowed, my heart pounding. “Areyouhappy?”
He blinked, like he was surprised I’d ask. “Happy?”
“Yes, Rune. Happy. Sometimes it seems like this island is exactly where you want to be. Other times, it seems like you find everything around you either annoying or downright awful.”
“Nothing about Oakwater annoys me, and it’s certainly not awful. There’s nowhere in this godforsaken world I’d rather live,” he said quietly. “But no, that doesn’t mean I’m happy.”
“And what would make you happy, Rune?”
A long stretch of silence followed. My heart beat wildly against my ribs, and I felt a desperate need to know exactly what would make Rune smile.Permanently. But I was also afraid to hear the answer. It felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, and his words might push me over.
Rune rubbed his jaw, looking away. “I’ll be happy just doing my best to make this village a better place.”
“But you already do that,” I insisted. “Every damn day.”
“The thing I truly want is never going to happen, Frida, and I accepted that a long time ago,” he said.
“And what is that?” I asked. I knew I should let it go, but I couldn’t. Rune had everything he said he wanted. He’d built the home of his dreams, he had the job he loved, and he was surrounded by people he cared for and respected.
But there was something missing. I could see it in the hollowness of those rich brown eyes.
A muscle feathered in his jaw. “I suppose I want the same thing most folk do. When I first came here, I pictured my house the way it is now. With a cat and a hearth and my woodworking shop, all surrounded by the most majestic trees I’ve ever seen. But there was something else in my picture, too—or someone else, specifically. I always imagined I’d spend my life with a companion by my side. Someone I could share my days with. Someone who saw me for what I am and loved me in spite of it. But I’m a hard person to love, so I gave up on that dream years ago.”
“Rune,” I whispered, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest. “You’re not a hard person to love at all.”
“Oh yeah?” He arched a brow. “Well, I’m still alone out here, aren’t I?”
“Only because you haven’t met the right person.”
“Who’s going to love a big orc with tusks, awkward social skills, and blood on his hands? I’ll tell you who. No one.” With a sigh, he stood and collected the dirty bowls. “You must be tired, so I’ll clean up. I’ve put a book for you on your bed.”
I frowned, but didn’t argue. Rune was done with this conversation, and I could hardly blame him. I’d felt the same way about companionship lately, especially after I’d made my vows to the guild. I’d always been drawn to romance novels because I yearned to experience the all-consuming passion that happened between the pages. Even though I’d never felt those emotions myself, the books had given me hope. Hope that one day I might find the kind of love I’d only ever read about.
But I never had. And now I never would.
