“Oh, that.” She waved at the mess. “The children were panicking about the dark, so I tried to make them laugh. It turned out smashing eggs on the wall did the trick.” Sighing, she plopped onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Honestly, I will do anything at this point for a moment of calm with them. I will dance on my head wearing fish on my feet if I must.”
“That’s…quite the mental image.”
“A funny one, right?” She loosed a tired laugh. “It’d probably work to entertain them. You got any fish?”
I grinned. “Can’t say I do, but I’m heading to Rockheim. I bet they’ve got some I can bring back for you.”
Two lines creased the skin between her eyes. “Wait, you’re leaving Steingard already? You didn’t even ask me where I’m planning to move!” She swatted my arm, but I could see the hurt on every inch of her face. She’d thought I’d decided on my next home without asking her where she wanted to go. A fond warmth flooded through me. Bloomin’ fates, I’d been so focused on freedom that I really had lost sight of everything I already had. Yulla was like family, and she felt the same about me.
“Ah, my love.” I threw my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight against me. “I’d never move somewhere unless I knew you’d be there, too.”
She pulled back, sniffling. A few damp spots were splattered across her cheeks. “Then what in fate’s name are you going to Rockheim for?”
“I’m going to fix our sunstones, all right?”
She frowned. “But how? No offense Astrid, but I don’t see how you going to Rockheim solves a damn thing.”
“It’s a long, long,loooongstory.”
She squinted at me. “Wait a minute. You look all flushed. And don’t you pretend that Tormund didn’t spend the night in your cottage last night. I saw him go in there, looking all horny.”
I nearly choked on my saliva.
“That didn’t come out quite right. I meant his horns.” She tapped her forehead, then grinned wickedly. “Though by the look on your face, I’m guessing I wasn’t far off the mark.”
“I…” My words were strangled in my throat. I had no idea how to answer that. Yulla and I told each othereverything—and I do mean everything. Lying to her wasn’t an option. But things with Tormund were so new and delicate that I didn’t even know how to talk about it yet.
“My gods.” Yulla clapped. “Youdidget cozy with him, didn’t you? Tell me everything. What was he like? Did you play with his horns? Tell me you played with his horns.”
“Yulla, I swear I’ll tell you everything.Later.Right now, I need that beet sugar so I can save the sunstones.”
A spark lit her eyes, and she sprang to her feet as if she’d been injected with the sugar. It was as if all she’d needed was a little bit of hope. And fates be damned, I’d actually been the one to give it to her.
After everything she’d given me over the years.
I blinked back my own tears and watched her bustle around her kitchen. She drew out five large bags of beet sugar and deposited them in my arms.
“There.” She stepped back and dusted off her hands. Sugar sprayed into my face. I stuck out my tongue to catch a few stray flecks. Sweetness coated my tongue.
“Thanks. Mind opening the door? These are actually quite heavy.”
“Yeah, but you’re strong enough, aren’t you? You big show-off.” Winking, she bustled over to the door and opened it for me. “Too bad we had to call off the trials. I’m starting to think youmight have actually been able to give the leaders a run for their money.”
I opened my mouth to make a scathing retort about myself, just like I always did. Who did she think she was talking about? Little old me? I was no good at anything. I was weak. I would lose every task in such a humiliating fashion that the bard would come up with a new, demented song about me.
But then I snapped my mouth shut. Did I really still believe all that about myself? Perhaps I wasn’t thebest, but I wasn’t the worst, either. Not by a long shot. Perhaps I could have won a trial or two if I’d really put my mind to it and trained.
If I’d actuallybelievedI could do it.
But I’d never even given myself a real chance. I’d just dismissed any hope of succeeding, to the point where I’d decided I shouldn’t even bother trying. What could I have accomplished if I hadn’t done that? How well could I have done if only I’d given it my all?
I shook my head. Not that it mattered now. This year’s Fittest Under the Mountain had gone up in veritable flames, thanks to all this Everstone nonsense. If we were still in the northern mountains next year, hopefully we’d pick things up again, like they’d never ended. But for now, the games were off.
So I’d never get the chance to prove myself.
“I thought you didn’t even want me to compete,” I said to Yulla. “In fact, I distinctly remember you looking very panicked about it.”
“Yeah, well.” She shrugged, patted me on the cheek, and then tossed me another bag of sugar. It landed on top of the others with an inexplicably heavythump. “I underestimated you, which I should have never done. You’re Astrid Balstad, for fate’s sake. I’ve never met anyone who works in the mines as hard as you do. I should have backed you, my love. Should have bet the bloomin’ lot of gold on you winning at least one trial.” She cocked herhead, considering me. “Maybe the one where they steer the mine carts around. Bet you’d be damn good at that.”
