“Oh, Nellie.” Toryn pulled her against his chest. “None of this is your fault, and we won’t sacrifice you like that.”
“We’ll find another way,” Fenella replied. “Niamh and Alastair should return to Aesir soon with the human army. They’ll—”
“Stop,” I said, scraping the word from my throat. “Just stop. I do not care about the gods and the humans and what we do next. I want to take care of my mate. Help me wrap her neck or leave me be.”
Toryn nodded and gently helped Nellie stand, holding her close when her knees buckled. Gaven remained nearby, watching, while Boudica spun overhead. Her mournful cries echoed through the night. Fenella helped me remove the cloak. My hands shook as I undid the clasp. I didn’t want to shift her body too much. Blood still leaked from the wound, and I needed to keep it there inside her where it belonged.
I didn’t want her to lose any more of herself.
When we finally pulled the cloak from beneath her, I ripped the fabric into strips. Silent, Fenella lifted Tessa’s head while I wrapped the fabric around the cut. Blood instantly soaked it, but it stopped the trails from dripping onto the ground.
When I was done, I sat back on my heels, scarcely understanding what I was seeing. This wasn’t real. It could be real. I did not want to exist in this world without her.
“Come on,” Fenella said gently. “Carry her home, Kal.”
Herhome. That tiny village called Teine, where she’d experienced so much fear and pain. And yet she loved that village and everyone in it. She’d fought to save not only herself but them. They’d been part of her bargain with me, that vow. I’d been meant to find them a safe haven far from the mist, and yet I’d failed her on that.
I’d failed her now.
I should have told her I loved her before she and Nellie had set off to save the world.
“She will be remembered.” I gently slid my arms under her body and lifted her, careful to keep her head against my chest. I carried her through the darkness as the rain returned. Nellie and my Mist Guard surrounded me. Together, we walked to the bridge in silence. There was nothing left to say.
Only goodbye.
Thirty-Eight
Kalen
Itook her to the little house with the faded blue paint. Oberon’s destructive fires hadn’t touched this place, though several of the nearby homes hadn’t been as lucky. A broom sat on the front porch, leaning against the door. The brown bristles were coated in dust. Nellie took one look at the broom and sobbed.
“Where would you like me to take her?” I asked, though the voice hardly felt like mine. Rain still crashed down on us, but I’d stopped feeling it. I’d stopped feeling much of anything at all.
“Should we bury her? Does your village have a cemetery?” Fenella asked Nellie.
“Not in the rain,” Nellie said with a gasp. “Not in the mud. We should let her rest in her bed until it stops. It should be…it should be light outside when we bury her. She should be able to see the sun one last time. There’s a book in her room. She was reading it before we left Teine. She hasn’t reached the end of the story yet.”
“Of course,” Toryn murmured, brushing the wet hair out of Nellie’s eyes.
We trudged up the small steps leading into Tessa’s childhood home. I didn’t want to open the door and go inside. It held too many memories, and none of them belonged to me. The house would reek of them. She and her family had not packed up their things and moved away. They’d left in a hurry, and there would be evidence of their life here at every turn.
I slowed when my boot hit the top step. A lump stuck in my throat.
Nellie glanced over her shoulder at me. Compassion shone through her tears. “It’s all right. She wants you to come inside so you can see this place. It’s a part of her. It’s a part of both of us.”
Her words rang hollow in my ears, just like the sound of the rain. But I nodded and followed her into the dark house. I couldn’t say no to Nellie Baran right now.
She moved over to a kitchen table and lit a gemstone lantern. Light spilled through the dust-coated room. There was a rocking chair beside the only window. It faced a small sofa and cluster of armchairs. Paintings decorated the walls. A drab carpet stretched across the stone floor, leading toward a set of rickety stairs.
There wasn’t much to the home at all, but a hollow ache formed around my eyes. I could picture her here, sitting in that rocking chair. I could see her laughing and running toward the stairs.
She would have had that wild look in her eye, that defiance.
I cleared my throat, blinking rapidly.
“Our rooms are upstairs.” Nellie started up them. The wood creaked beneath our boots.
When we came to the top landing, Nellie led us past two other doors and went to the room at the end of the hallway. Tessa’s room. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
