“Wait,” Tessa cut in. She looked at Cathal with compassion in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking. Cathal would never hold the title of lord because he wouldn’t survive this. If he led the gods away from us, no matter how good he was at stealth, they would eventually find him and cut him down. “Cathal, you’ve done us proud, and you should be rewarded for what you’ve done already. But I should be the one to draw the gods away from here.”
“Tessa,” I said, my jaw clenching. “You cannot—”
“They want the gemstones, and they’ll assume I have them,” she said quickly, tapping the dagger at her hip. “I’m the one they’re after. I should be the one to lead them away from here.”
“Well, if we’re all throwing our hats into the fucking ring,” Fenella said, brandishing her twin daggers, “I might as well volunteer my own damn self. I’ve got no one counting on me any longer. I should do it.”
Toryn closed his eyes and sighed. “Fenella, you can’t keep trying to throw your life away just because—”
“Because what?” she hissed. “Because everyone I know and love has been taken from this light-forsaken world?”
He pressed his lips together. “I wouldn’t put it that way, no.”
“It’s a lie, anyway,” Gaven said with a wink. “She lovesus, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”
A weak cough cut through the argument, followed by a rough laugh. We all turned toward Ruari, who had curled against a rock nearby. Nellie tried to dab his forehead with a wet rag, but he swatted her away. His face was screwed up in pain, but he kept laughing. After a moment, he sobered and wagged a finger at us all.
“I can’t believe I have to spend my last moments in this wild and fucked up world listening to you lot. Put me out of my misery. I’ll go.”
“Ruari, no,” Nellie said.
“It’s the only solution.” Ignoring Tessa’s sister, he crawled onto his hands and knees, then slowly teetered to his feet. Red rimmed his eyes. His lips were white and cracked. He looked thinner somehow as he hunched over, like his body was caving in on itself. Ruari did not have much time left.
Tessa gently said, “You can hardly walk, Ruari. They’ll catch up to you. And you won’t be able to fight.”
“I’m going to die anyway,” he croaked. “At least this way I can go out doing something good.”
Tears filled Nellie’s eyes. Clenching her jaw, she turned away, tossing the wet rag onto the ground. She knew, just like the rest of us, that this truly was our best option. Ruari could lead the gods away from the civilians, and no one would die. No one but Ruari, whose fate was already sealed.
It didn’t mean I liked it. In fact, I fucking hated it. All of us did.
“It’s your decision, Ruari,” I finally said. I wished I could reach out and clasp his shoulder. We’d never had time to talk about what I knew was on both our minds. In a weird and twisted way, Ruari was my half-brother.
He met my gaze, coughing. “Glad I got to meet you, even if it was brief.”
“You’re a good man, Ruari,” I said.
From behind me, Cathal exhaled in relief. His entire body shuddered, the full depths of his fear now finally on display. The lad would have done it without complaint, without question. He would have sacrificed himself for his people. That type of courage was rare, even amongst scouts. And for that, he would be rewarded.
And then he surprised me by saying, “While Ruari leads the gods away from here, I’ll continue to scout. Then I’ll report back to you once they follow him.”
I nodded. “If that’s the plan, we best get started.” I turned to Gaven. “And find us a way out of here, eh? We have one opportunity to escape, and we cannot waste it.”
Thirty
Ruari
Igently took Nellie’s hands. We stood at the mouth of the cave, away from prying eyes, though I felt the weight of everyone’s hopes on my shoulders. I could not linger long, and yet, I didn’t want to leave the world without saying goodbye to this girl.
“Thank you for forgiving me,” I said to her. “If I were you, I don’t think I would have.”
Tears sliced down her face, but nevertheless, she looked as lovely as she always did. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do,” I replied without hesitation, wincing as another blast of pain tortured my gut. It felt like my stomach was eating itself and there was little left of my flesh to consume. I’d tried food and water. Nothing helped, nor would it. I’d been cursed with famine.
“You really don’t. The others said Cathal is one of the best scouts they’ve ever met. He’s so light on his feet they never hear his steps,” she whispered.
“Stealth doesn’t matter. Not against the gods.”
