She arched a brow. “Can’t you already do enough damage with those hands of yours?”
Frowning, I shoved said hands deep into my pockets. “Trust me, I would rather maim than kill, especially in a situation like that.”
She flashed her silver eyes my way and then touched one of the miniature daggers at her neck. “You’ve been given a gift. I know it doesn’t feel like one, but that’s what it is. And it’s a gift you can never give back. The only way to conquer your fear of it is to bend it to your will.”
“I know,” I said, almost taken aback by the bluntness of her words, though I should have expected as much, coming from her. “I’ve been trying.”
Caedmon fell into step beside me. “Fenella is right. I’ve seen you training with Kalen, but you’re still not trying hard enough. Your fear is holding you back.”
It wasn’t fear, not like he meant. It was everything else that came with the power. The truth of where it came from and how it had first manifested in my hands. My father’s furrowed, red-cheeked face flashed in my mind, and his voice echoed through me.
Stop fighting me! You have the power to save the people of Teine!
And he’d been right. If I had learned to harness my power back then, I could have put my hands on Oberon long ago, ending his brutal reign in an instant. I could have killed him before he had Val’s parents executed and before my father was driven to seek out the god’s power in Itchen. And far, far before Oberon had tried to make me his bride.
Even still, there was one thing that haunted me more than all of that.
It was the image of my father’s face in my mind. The memory of that feeling when he’d thrown me over the wall and left me to fend for myself against a beast that could have killed me. The father I’d thought loved me. The father who once told me he’d do anything for me, even go against a fae king.
That man had been a lie. And the pain of it all was too fresh. I’d locked it away for so long and had only just remembered it a few weeks ago. I couldn’t yet shake that feeling—that grief.
I fell silent as we crossed into the next corridor. Wind howled from outside, loud even through the stone walls. Rain hammered the roof, and the humid air thickened around us until it felt like we were swimming through the halls.
We came to another corner, and Toryn slowed to a stop at the front of our group. He held a finger to his lips. A guard was up ahead, then. He tapped his head. And the guard had a helmet, just like the other one had.
Kalen spoke in a low voice. “Can we go another way?”
Quietly, Toryn replied, “If she’s hiding something, it will be in the tunnels below the castle. And there can only be one reason why that door is being guarded.”
Suddenly, Nellie winced. With wide and fearful eyes, she held shaking hands up before her. Sharp talons had pierced through the tips of her fingers, and bright blood dripped down her skin.
“What’s happened?” I took her hand and examined the claws. They were longer and sharper than they had been before, and the blood was a first.
“I don’t know. They just came out. And my teeth.” Shuddering, she rubbed her other hand across her jaw, careful not to cut her face with her claws. “They really ache.”
“Hmm,” Caedmon said. “It’s likely your fangs coming out. Don’t worry, though, Nellie. You’ll be fine.”
I shot him a grateful smile even as dread curled around my heart. “How are you feeling other than that?”
Nellie’s breathing quickened. “Hungry. Really, really hungry.”
Caedmon placed a hand on her back. “Don’t panic.”
“Kalen,” I said, trying to hold my worry at bay. If I lost my calm and gave in to the terror that threatened to knock down my control, I would only scare my sister. For her sake, I needed to believe everything was fine. This only meant her body was getting used to the magic. These claws and fangs had been hidden because of Oberon’s protective barrier. Now that she was outside it, of course they would manifest more often.
That was it. There wasnothingto be concerned about.
“Just give it a moment,” I said to her. “The claws are getting longer, and so it only makes sense for there to be a little pain. Like Caedmon said, it’s going to be all right.”
She gritted her teeth, and something dark passed through her eyes. “No, I feel…I need to get out of here, Tessa.Please.”
Concern crashed into me like a storm-tossed wave. I looked over her, at her pale face and shaking hands, and I knew that no matter how hard I tried to will it out of existence, those claws—that power—had started to close over her head, drowning her.
“All right.” I nodded to the others. “You carry on. I’m going to take Nellie back to the room. Just be careful, all right?” I met Kalen’s intense gaze, and part of me—that deep part tied to his soul—shuddered as I started to turn away from him. “Try not to let those guards see you.”
“It’s a bit too late for that,” a voice called from behind us.
Twenty-Three
