“Can’t say I did, boss,” he said quietly.
“Well, then what the fuck—”
“I’m starting to change,” she whispered. Shocked, I turned back toward her to find her gaze now rooted to the floor. “I fell asleep and then I had this dream. But it wasn’t really a dream. I was outside in some kind of weird haze, and something inside me wanted to kill everyone. And then I passed out and when I woke up here, I had dirt on my face, and oh my god, I don’t know what I did. What if I killed someone, Caim?”
She shoved it all out in a rush of words that left her panting, her face so pale that it looked like she might faint. Heart pounding, I slowly approached her. Everything within mehurt, understanding all too well exactly what she was going through. She didn’t deserve this. Any of it.
“Oh, Eva.” Tears poured down her face as her body began to shake. Sighing, I wound my arms around her and pulled her against my chest. “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to help you get through this.”
But I knew what happened when demons were born. Death and destruction always followed.
16
Eva
Caim’s arms were so strong and sure. So steady. I felt like shattering, but it was as if the pieces of him were keeping me together. I’d been on the verge of collapse ever since Phenex determined I’d actually wandered outside in a demon haze. Sarah and Anya had done their best to make me feel like my entire world wasn’t falling apart, but I couldn’t forget how I’d felt when I’d stared at the taxi driver. A lust for blood and violence had filled my head, driving away everything that made me Eva.
And I couldn’t remember whether or not I’dactuallykilled him.
The thought terrified me.
“Eva, you’re shaking,” Caim gently murmured, the warmth of him flooding my senses and dulling the panic driving nails through my heart. “Come on. I know exactly what you need.”
What I needed was a time machine so I could go back and undo the steps that had led me to this place. Although...that would mean never meeting Caim. It would mean never discovering the truth about supernaturals. Never getting to know the other demons in the Legion. The guys who had begun to feel less like scary strangers and more like friends.
Even Phenex. And Valac, when he wasn’t trying to pierce my mind with his gaze.
“I’m scared, Caim.”
“I know.” He shifted a step back and gently took my elbow in his strong hand. Leading me away from the sofa, he aimed me toward the rear of the loft where his bedroom was. I shot a glance over my shoulder. Anya and Sarah gave me matching sad smiles. What did they think of me now? They’d stood beside me through so much shit. Would this be the thing that finally got them to break away from me?
I wouldn’t blame them if it was.
The transformation might not fully be complete yet, but it didn’t matter. Deep down inside, I knew what I was now. A monster.
One who might end up hurting them if I went into that weird daze in their presence. The thought brought on a fresh wave of panic, and my entire body began to buzz. How could I ever forgive myself if I hurt either of them? If I hurtanyoneat all?
“Alright,” Caim said softly as he nudged open his bedroom door and led me inside. He spun me toward him, his dark gaze sweeping across my face. Steadying me. “Everything’s okay. Focus on me. Take a big breath in through your nose.”
“Everything is not okay.” My voice cracked.
“Take a big breath in through your nose,” he repeated.
I stared into his eyes. Something about the midnight depths soothed the frayed edges of my nerves. Nodding, I sucked in a jagged breath.
“Good,” he said. “Now, this time, try to do it a lot slower, okay? Big, deep breath.”
Shuddering, I tried. The intake was sharp and painful.
“Again,” he said. “Slower.”
I focused on his eyes, his face, his words. The next two breaths were just as sharp, but slowly, I managed to calm my lungs. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. His dark eyes watched my every move, tracking me. He was keeping my feet on the ground and my panic at bay.
Finally, he released his grip on my arms. “Good. You’re still shivering, so I’m going to put you in the shower.”
A hot tear slipped out of my eye and burned down my cheek. “Why are you doing this? I’m probably your enemy now. I may have killed someone, Caim.”
“First, you will never be my enemy,” he said firmly. “And second, you haven’t killed anyone.”
