Of course, her vows would never allow her to do that either. She’d promised not to flee…but she had never promised a thing in regards to her sister. She could get Eislyn out of these godforsaken lands. She just couldn’t leave herself.
“Indeed,” Nollaig mumbled. “We have already sent a few scouts. None of them have returned. Odds are, the wood fae are already nearby. But we need to confirm it.”
Reyna frowned. “They never returned? So, the king is sending us out on a death quest.”
“The previous scouts were not protected by a trained Shieldmaiden, a king’s own guard, andme.” Nollaig smiled, or at least, Reyna thought it sounded like she smiled. It was impossible to tell, the strange shadow fae’s face always hidden beneath her black hood.
“And I am going,” Tarrah said quietly from where she bent over the map, studying it with a deep crease between her eyes. “I’m protected by Unseelie.”
Reyna fought the urge to roll her eyes. “If you’re protected by Unseelie, then why do the rest of us need to go?”
Tarrah blinked up at her. “Because I have seen every one of you in my visions. Unseelie wishes for you to be with me always. I do what my god commands.”
Any doubt Reyna once had about the girl’s beliefs, she no longer had now. There was an earnestness to her words that could not be faked. Reyna did not believe for one second that Unseelie protected her, but she knew that Tarrah believed it wholly.
But Unseelie protected no one. He was the god of darkness and cruel hate. His magic poisoned the minds of any who used it, and then twisted them into believing they were right. Unseelie made those who followed him see the world upside down, sideways, through mirrors. Good was wrong, and wrong was good. Murder was the greatest display of honor.
Once, Reyna reminded herself. That hadoncebeen the message of Unseelie, if he even existed at all. But just like all magic, his had vanished after the Fall. He held no power anymore.
Unless…
Nollaig tapped the map again. “Of course, the scouts were instructed to carry on up to here.” She now pointed to a spot near Murias. It was just as Reyna had feared. “It is possible they were caught much further north than we fear. It would still mean that the Wood Court is on the march, but we would have far more time to prepare.”
“Why don’t we just send our familiars?” Reyna asked. “My owl and your crow can see where they are.”
Nollaig’s voice went razor sharp. “Absolutely not. It is impossible to spot the wood fae through the canopy of trees, and I will not send Holas down below it. The wood fae are skilled in archery, and there are no snow owls or crows in their woods. As soon as they spotted a foreign bird, that bird would be dead.”
A chill swept down Reyna’s spine. “All right. Scratch that idea then.”
Nollaig continued with her plan, pointing at various spots on the map and explaining the obstacles they might encounter along the way. Reyna found her mind wandering. It was impossible to stay focused when she could feel a pair of eyes on her skin. Swallowing hard, she twisted her head toward the back corner where Lorcan still stood. His gaze was unflinching, but his expression was utterly unreadable.
Her heart pounded. Over the weeks of her captivity, she had imagined, time and time again, what she would do once she saw him. She’d known she could not avoid him forever. Eventually, the past would catch up to her, the ghosts transforming into fully-formed beings.
She had recited words. She had closed her eyes and imagined their steel clashing together. She had wondered how it would feel to face him on the battlefield. In her mind’s eye, there had always been a standoff. Lorcan against her and everything she loved. A blade pointed at his heart. Instead, she had gottenthis.
It was not enough.
Nollaig cleared her throat, drawing Reyna’s attention from Lorcan’s face. She could not see the strange shadow fae’s face and yet Reyna could swear she saw Nollaig frowning. “Your vows prevent you from killing shadow fae, Shieldmaiden.Anyshadow fae.”
Reyna scowled. “As long as you understand that I would kill every last one of you if I could, that’s enough. For now.” She turned her glittering eyes back on Lorcan, hoping he caught the meaning of her words. “You wouldn’t be the first enemy I’ve plotted against. Did you truly think I agreed to marry Thane so that I could become his sweet, silent wife? My other sisters might have, but me?”
Shock flickered in his dark eyes. Good. She’d surprised him, shown him that he wasn’t the only one willing to commit terrible deeds in the name of the ones he loved. She might not be able to shove a dagger into his flesh, but she could do one better.
His shock vanished as he shuttered his eyes. “You aren’t that stupid, Reyna. You would have been hanged for treason. You would have shattered the alliance and restarted the war between ice and air.”
“Or I would have done it in a way thatno onewould have known it was me. And then I would have become reigning High Queen.”
He shook his head, jaw rippling. “You’re just saying this to get a rise out of me.”
“I cannot lie.”
He stared at Reyna. She stared right back, her heart thumping. A small part of her hidden deep inside her bones wanted to take it back. She’d never wanted Lorcan to know the reason she’d first gone to the Air Court. But she’d blurted it out now, knowing that it would hurt him. Wanting to make him feel the way she did. Betrayed.
His jaw flickered as he ground his teeth, whirling toward Nollaig. “Make your plans. You don’t need input from me. When you’re ready to leave, come find me.”
He kicked open the door and stormed into the corridor, his black cloak trailing behind him. Reyna stared after him, hands fisted. She wanted to call after him, dare him to come back. She’d expected something else. Shouting, screaming, rage. Instead, all he’d done was leave.
It wasn’t enough. She needed more. Her skin itched for a fight.
