Erela
“Now that we’vegot this boat, we need to figure out where we’re going.” I plopped into one of the wing-backed chairs in the library. Yes, Lilith had even sorted out a library for her Rhode Island getaway mansion. It was complete with two long walls of built-in oak shelves packed full with reading material. There was a fireplace at the far end of the room, sandwiched between two floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out at the beach. Scattered throughout the room were several comfy reading chairs with their own little tables and footstools. It reminded me of the library back home, one of the few things I missed aboutCelestia.
I felt a twinge in my heart. Even though I’d gladly do everything all over again, and even though I’d choose to fall again if given the chance, there were still things about my situation that made me feel less than fantastic. The fight at the docks had reminded me ofthat.
The whole half-demon thing, for one. Sure, I’d learned from Lilith that not all demons are horrible monstrous creatures that want to destroy everything that is good in the world. And Az, with his horrible history, had taught me that there are a heckinbob lot of angels out there who are the absolute worst. So, I knew things were a little bit more complicated than black and white. Logically, I understood that being a demon didn’t mean I deserved to be locked up for the rest ofeternity.
But logic and I weren’t always friends, and it certainly didn’t make this any easier. It was as if my entire identity had been ripped out from under me. I’d always thought I’d known who I was, and I’d been confident in it. Now, all of that certainty and confidence had gone up in flames. Literally. Who was I now? And what did it evenmean?
Questions for another day, I guessed. Right now, we needed to find out where Berith might have taken that damnamulet.
“You’ve got that distant look on your face again.” Lizzie handed me the half-translated book and settled into the chair beside mine, folding her legs underneath her. She wore an all-black outfit that she liked to sport during training exercises, and it suited her. Lizzie was really starting to fit into her new place in the Order. “Are you upset about what happened on theboat?”
“I don’t know if upset is the right word,” I said, sighing. “I’m more…melancholic. I don’t know who or what I am anymore, Lizzie. I know you’re kind of going through the same thing. You chose to stay here, too, but you’re still you. The angel daughter of two perfectly normalangels.”
“The fire demon thing doesn’t make you notyou, Erela.” She gave me a sad smile and pressed a long strand of silver-blonde hair behind her ear. “You’re the same girl I’ve always known. The only major difference I see is that you’ve stopped using your nonsense words, like shitoodles andheckinbob.”
A flutter of movement whispered from behind my head, and a soft, warm blob landed on my shoulder. A pair of whispers twitched at my cheek, making a smile creep onto my face. “Hi, Mr.Whiskerson.”
It was my rat. Well, he wasn’tmyrat, really. He was his own damn self, free to go wherever he pleased. As it turned out, he liked my company, though that probably had something to do with the fact I’d saved him from a hungry Archdemon who had wanted to turn him into dinner. That was the reason I’d ended up in Lower Realm in the first place. And now, Mr. Whiskerson had a tendency of sticking to my side. Sometimes, it even felt like he could understand humanconversation.
But that was ridiculous. He might be smart, but he wasn’tthatsmart.
“See, your rat pal agrees,” Lizzie said, reaching out to give Mr. Whiskerson a scratch behind his little ears. “Besides, it might not look like I’m having trouble adapting, but I am.” Her voice suddenly went very soft. “I missIsaac.”
“Ah, Isaac.” I sighed and shook my head. Isaac had been part of our trio up in Celestia. The three of us had been inseparable. He’d had the bright idea to go out for drinks in the neutral territory the night before my initiation ceremony, and that had been the last time I’d ever laid eyes on him. I’d been worried that the Archdemon from the bar would toss him down to earth to punish me even more (just like he’d done with Lizzie), but there hadn’t been a peep from that particular pain in my ass forawhile.
Isaac would probably love it down here. He’d always had a flair fortrouble.
“He’s probably worried out of his mind, you know.” Lizzie shifted in her chair, biting her bottom lip. “He was freaked out when that demon sent you down here. He said he was going to go straight to your father, but…well, you know how hard it is to get Michael scheduled for ameeting.”
Oh, did I know. My father, Michael, was one of the Archangels. As such, he had a massive web of sons and daughters that spanned centuries. He also led the Order of the Seraphim, and he routinely led hosts on missions and battles against the demons. When I’d been young, I’d rarely had any time with him myself. My instructors at the Academy had raised me. I’d always assumed his distance from me was because of his busy schedule, but now that I knew what I was, I suspected it had been more thanthat.
He knew I was part firedemon.
“My father isn’t going to talk to Isaac.” I shook my head, finding it hard to speak around the pain and the heavy sense of abandonment. I didn’t want to go home, but I hated that my own flesh and blood didn’t give a rat’s ass about where I was. “And he’s certainly not going to make any attempt to come make sure we’re okay. He’s probably glad I’m down here, out of his way, to be honest. That way, none of his Archangel buddies will ever find out exactly what I am. And who he sleptwith.”
Needless to say, an Archangel sleeping with a fire demon? That wouldn’t go over very well. In fact, Gabriel had killed Az’s family when the Archangels had suspected his father of having a relationship with a demon. Half-angels and half-demons were an abomination tothem.
We were the Nephilim, practically a curse word among theArchangels.
So, yeah. My dad would makenomove to get me backhome.
“Fuck him,” Lizziesaid.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Now, Lizzie. Good little angels don’t use that kind of language. Keep talking like that and you’ll end up as part of the…” I dropped my voice to a whisper. “Evil Order of the Fallen. They like to eat puppies in their sparetime.”
Lizzie snorted. “Can you believe we fell for thatcrap?”
“No.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes, more at myself than anything. I’d been so gullible. “I honestly can’t. It sounds so insanenow.”
The scent of spice and leather drifted into my nose, and the weight of the room suddenly shifted. I twisted in my chair to find Az standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, his icy hair tied up in a tight bun. He lifted an eyebrow, shaking his head. “I came to see if you’d made any progress, but it sounds like you’re too busy talking about puppies to bother yourself with looking through some oldbooks.”
“Oh, don’t get testy.” I stuck out my tongue at him. “We’re working onit.”
“Need any help?” He strode into the library, the width of his broad shoulders barely fitting through thedoor.
“Sure. If you really want to sit in here reading some dusty books that were written in OldEnochian.”
