Asoft handcaressed my cheek, and the sharp, tangy scent of mint filled my nose. Groaning, I opened my eyes to find Kael leaning over me, his face blotting out the full moon in the sky. His eyes were pits of black, but the expression on his face was much softer than I’d ever seen from himbefore.
“Thank the forest,” he said as he continued to brush my cheek with his thumb. “For a moment there, I was worried you weren’t coming back tome.”
“I don’t feel so great.” My mouth felt as dry as the desert, and some kind of evil jackhammer was drilling into my skull. Even my vision was dizzy. Kael wasn’t just Kael. I swore there were four of him bouncing around in front of me. I reached back to rub my neck, and my fingers came into contact with a leg. Kael’s leg. I blinked, heartbeat flickering. It seemed my head was in hislap.
“You’ll feel rough for a few hours,” he said. “You tried to heal me without understanding how the power works. It can knock out even the most experienced fae, and this was your first time doingit.”
“And it worked,” I said, realizing just how alive and well Kael was. In fact, the tables had turned. I was now the one flat on my ass. “You’re okay? The fever isgone?”
At that, Kael’s face clouded back over to his usual stoic expression. His jaw clenched, and the thumb caressing my cheek ceased to move. “Yes, the fever is gone. I suppose you have some questions, and you no doubt are thrilled to discover you’re not a Winter fae now that you know the truth aboutme.”
“Come on. That’s not fair,” I said with a frown. “Don’t assume I’m going to judge you just because you’re a...well, whatareyou, Kael? Because you certainly don’t look like a Redcap tome.”
“I’m not a Redcap. Not truly.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Two years ago, I was infected when I was fighting against a group of Redcaps who had gone on a spree in Boston. They needed to be stopped, and I thought I could be the one to stop them. Instead, I gotbitten.”
Chills swept down my spine, but I kept my mouth shut. Kael seemed hesitant enough to tell his story. I didn’t want to interrupt him with questions, for fear he’d change his mind about sharing this part ofhimself.
“Because I was already fae, my body was able to withstand the damage, though I regret every single day that I didn’t go straight in search of some Starlight.” He curled his hands into fists and shook his head, jaw clenching tight. “The beast does not control me. I control it. But it is still inside of me, and sometimes, my body must change into that creature. That day on the cliff…I thought I had it under control. I was just trying to scare you into being better with the bow. But instead…I’m so sorry, Norah. I’ll never forgive myself for bitingyou.”
A deep silence rained down upon us while I processed his words. I’d had a hunch that it was something like this, though the pain his voice was worse than I’d thought. He hated what he’d become, so much so that he let it control him. He didn’t want anyone to get close to him, for fear they’d find out the truth and push himaway.
“Is that why you think that no one would want to have you as a mate?” I finallyasked.
His jaw rippled as he nodded. “No one wants a beast. I didn’t want to come to the Academy, but I had no choice. My father forced me to come here. The only way I can inherit his lands is to bring home a changeling mate. Otherwise, I’m homeless and penniless. No Winter fae can survive withoutboth.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what. Your father sounds about as terrible as my step-dad.”
Kael arched an eyebrow. “That’s what your focusing on? Not the fact I’m one of those monsters you hate andfear?”
With a soft smile, I reached up and touched his face. His skin was no longer on fire, but he felt just as strong and as real as ever. “You’re not a monster, Kael. In fact, you’re pretty much theopposite.”
He caught my hand in his and pressed it tighter to his cheek, but then, his eyes darkened. “You’re only saying that because you now know that you’re not a Winter fae. If you were able to heal me the way you did, then it’s impossible. You’ll belong to Liam, the opposite of all that Iam.”
Confusion rippled through me. Not about my nature. I’d had the same questions. Did this make me Summer fae? But that wasn’t what made my heart feel as if it had split in two. Disappointment and happiness were mixed together as one. I didn’t know what was up and what wasdown.
“Liam’s not so bad,” I finally said, though the words didn’t seem strong enough to convey exactly how I felt. “But...you’re not so badeither.”
His lifted his eyebrows. “Faintpraise.”
“I don’t think I know how to explain how I feel.” I glanced at where our hands were still interlocked, and I sighed. “To be honest, I’m confused. One minute, I think I want to be a Summer fae. The next minute, I want to be a Winter, especially when I realize that Winter fae are not as cold and unfeeling as they want everyone tothink.”
“I could kiss you right now,” he said in a rough voice. “No one has ever accepted me for what I am. And yet here you are...and I can never have you. One of the other changelings is my mate, but I can’t imagine any of them by myside.”
My heart thundered hard. I wanted him to kiss me, too. My hands were even shaking at the thought of it. “Maybe the healing thing was a fluke. Maybe we’ll find out I really am a Winterfae.”
“And do you want to be a Winter fae, Norah?” His eyes glittered in the darkness of the cave. “Do you want to bemine?”
Yes and no, I thought. I wanted to be his, and I wanted to be Liam’s, but I didn’t dare voice that thought aloud. Instead, I merely gave him a soft smile.I’m so screwed. I’m never going to be able to figure out what I want. How could I everchoose?
Chapter Nineteen
When we returnedto the Academy, Finn, Liam, and Rourke were waiting for us in the library. They looked...disgruntled, to say the least. Arms were crossed over chests, frowns were pulling down lips. They really had the whole disapproving teacher look down pat. I wondered how long they’d been standing here likethis.
“Honestly, Kael.” Rourke was the first to speak when we shifted back. “I could believe it of Liam, but you? You’ve got better sense than to take Norah away from here when a bunch of Redcaps have been stalking around just waiting for a chance to attackher.”
“She was fine,” Kael said in a curt tone of voice. “We were far enough away from the Academy that Redcaps weren’t anissue.”
Liam’s face was lined in a scowl, and his bonfire eyes scanned me from head to toe, missing nothing. “Then, why is she ten shades paler than normal? Why is she shaking? What the hell have you done toher?”
