Moments passed. Caspian sat on the log, his face pressed into his hands. His skin was still flushed, blood heated by desire that lingered despite himself. The urge to go to her, to close the distance he had created, was overwhelming. He hadn’t even touched a woman, well not like that, not in years, not sinceher. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he wasn’t managing himself as well as he’d thought. The first time he’d been alone with a woman for more than an hour, he had his hands all over her. He let out a completely unbidden sigh. It was more like a growl.
He was still hard, his erection straining against his pants. The unrelieved tension he felt throughout his whole body was only making this situation more impossible. Even the brisk wind was amplified against his sensitive skin. He could almost imagine it was her lips trailing up his neck, her hands moving through his hair.
Caspian stood restlessly. He’d promised himself to stop this, to let her go.Her. Not Erin. This had never been about the forester. He was using her, and that only made him more despicable.
If Keira was going to come back, wouldn’t she have done so by now?
He had made the decision to move on months ago. It was time.
Yet… memories of her danced through his mind. Her teasing voice, her laugh as she pushed him into the grass only to fall on top of him. Lips grazing his cheek gently, trailing to his mouth…
Caspian was trekking away from the firelight before he’d made a conscious decision to do so. Erin’s form made no movement to show she’d noticed his absence. He wouldn’t be gone long.
The night was unforgivingly cold, but still his skin felt like it was on fire. He stopped only a few yards from camp, leaning against the trunk of a large pine. His chest heaved with uneven breaths, emitting clouds of steam into the night air. Quickly, he undid the fasteners of his pants. The moment he took himself in hand, a deep sigh escaped his lips. His head leaned back against the rough bark.
Her face floated in his mind. Keira. Caspian sucked in a breath as he began to play a very dangerous game. What if it had been her by that fire? When he leaned in to kiss her, she wouldn’t have pushed him away. He would have tasted those full lips again. He could remember the feel of her hands on hischeeks, on the nape of his neck as her fingers twisted through the roots of his hair. The warmth of her tongue on his lips. It nearly took him over the edge.
They had been so young then. Stolen kisses had been enough to sate them, but in his imagination, they did so much more. His hand behind her back would have pulled her in closer, arching her breasts to perfection. His mouth would trail down the length of her neck, to the soft skin of her chest. He would kneel before her, cupping, kissing, licking, biting, worshiping her form. The sounds that would escape her, fabulous beyond description, saturated with need.
And when she reached for him… Caspian hissed at his own undoing. Release gripped his entire body as ecstasy exploded through every nerve.
He stood panting against the pine, fixing his clothes with numb fingers. The night’s chill settled over him, stealing the remnants of pleasure too quickly. With a final exhalation, Caspian reined himself in, focusing his mind before taking the first steps back toward the camp.
By the time he felt the comforting warmth of the fire against his skin, his breathing was natural, his skin no longer flushed. He took his vantage point on the log and settled in for the watch.
The chill settled in quick and deep, barely eased by the fire. The forest seemed to swell around him in the dark. In the stillness, loneliness descended on him, the numbing aftermath of his brief moment of pleasure. It was possible his actions could be explained by a long denied need for intimacy. But it was more than that. He could feel it welling inside him. She’d been the first person to understand the pain he had carried all these years. Somehow he felt that he could open up to her in ways he hadn’t been able to with anyone else. Maybe now that he was moving on with his life, he felt freer to share that sort of emotional intimacywith someone. Yet the issue remained that after so many years, it had all flooded out of him at once, a great tide of need.
His senses perked as he noticed movement on the other side of the flames. Erin’s form was shaking. He strained to hear the sound over the bitter wind, but it was clear enough. She was sobbing and trying very hard to hide it.
Guilt plunged him into icy waters. Of course she was crying; he’d practically forced himself on her. Yet even now, Caspian wanted to go to her. He wanted to lie beside her and hold her tight against his chest until the tears stopped. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and whisper that he was there with her, for her.
Caspian hung his head. What was wrong with him?
Keira
Keira could hear Caspian’s steps crunching through the snow behind her. Yet despite the sound of their relentless footfalls, they had passed the morning in silence. Not a word had passed between them. Not when she’d woken in the night and taken over the watch. Not when they’d broken camp that morning. Nothing. He wouldn’t even look at her. The silence was killing her, not knowing what he was thinking. Yet the barrier that now existed between them was indisputable as iron.
It almost made her thankful that she was trudging through knee deep snow to find some bloodthirsty monster. At least she had something to occupy her thoughts. Mostly. Still her mind tortured itself with the same impossible question. Then what? When this little quest of theirs was over, what then?
The weather turned as they reached the edge of the wood. The trees thinned as they approached the base of the mountains, allowing the frigid winds to rage unhindered, carrying icy shards of snow that stung her skin. Visibility grew worse until Caspian was nearly treading on her heels to keep her in sight. The shifting storm erased any tracks they may have been able to follow, even their own. Keira pushed on for a time hoping her magic might lead them true, but it eventually became apparent that she had lost all sense of direction. Even if she knew exactly where she was going, there would be no finding it in the storm.
Keira stopped, holding her hood tight in her numb hands, admitting to herself that to continue would only mean stumbling through a mounting blizzard blindly.
“We need to find shelter,” Caspian’s voice shouted against the wind, echoing her sentiments exactly.
Keira only nodded, turning on the spot and seeing nothing more promising than a small cluster of trees some distance behind them.
Fortunately, there was one pine among them that was large enough to offer shelter beneath its thick needled branches. Keira ducked into the hollow, relieved to see that they were not disturbing the refuge of some other unfortunate creature. A dusting of snow fell as Caspian rustled in behind her. Though she could fit comfortably kneeling, he barely fit at all. After a few moments of awkward repositioning, he found a place, leaning against the trunk with his legs outstretched. As they settled, Keira realized her entire form was shaking. Her cloak and pants were damp and freezing. She couldn’t feel her feet or hands, or most of her face.
Her gaze studied Caspian, who was removing his breastplate so that he could sit more comfortably. His jaw was trembling and his breath along with it. They were both dangerously cold. This small shelter wouldn’t be enough to protect them from the elements. If the chill set in much deeper…
Keira crawled over. He did not look in her direction until she placed a hand on his leg. His eyes widened at her touch.
“You’re shivering,” Keira whispered.
He looked back at her for a moment before making room for her. Keira moved into the open space between his legs and curled herself against his chest. He shifted beneath her for several moments before she understood. He laid his bedroll around them both, encasing her totally between him and the thick blanket.
Keira fixed her hood over her face before she released the Occulos charm. There was no other choice. Her magic was their best chance of keeping warm. Yet her heart beat a little faster. She was literally in his arms. All he would have to do would be to pull back her hood… Keira shook the thought away. That didn’t matter now. What mattered was that his entire body was shaking around her.
