Caspian released a sigh of agitation. He wouldn’t take his anger out on her. There was guilt enough within him already that she was caught in the middle of this. Not to mention that he’d been an absent fiancé at best. He’d not punish her further.
“I don’t want you to worry about me,” Caspian said, standing.
She took a step closer too, watching him with her cool blue eyes. “But I do. It can’t be easy, losing someone you care- care so much for.”
Her words gripped his heart like an icy fist. They had never once acknowledged his feelings for Keira, never discussed it. He found himself utterly at a loss for what to say. Should he tell her how the grief was eating him from the inside like a rot? Would it be better to lie? Would she even believe him if he tried?
His face must have said enough, because she gave a small, sad smile. “You mmmust not feel it, but you are fortunate.”
“In many ways,” Caspian admitted, though he hardly felt as much at the moment.
“I envy it,” she said, her words soft, but full of heart wrenching honesty, “the way you cared for her. Nnn-No one has ever f-felt-”
“Take a breath,” Caspian urged, hating to see her struggle.
She did, and carried on measuring each word, “Nnno one has ever loved me that way.”
“Priscilla, I-” he stumbled, trying to find anything he could say to honestly comfort her as her eyes began to glisten. What truly killed him was the fragile resolve she held on her face, no bitterness or accusation. “What about your brother?”
She smiled. “Victor loves the- the best way he knows how. But to- to have someone love you, like you’re the cccenter of- of everything to them… You’re lucky to have had it, even if it’sgone.” Priscilla looked up at him, her eyes budding with tears she seemed so reluctant to shed. “It’s all I ever wanted.”
Caspian’s heart broke at how much he had failed her, how selfish he had been. She had laid before him the pain he had inflicted on her, and why? Because he’d been too busy chasing the ghosts of his past. “You deserve nothing less.”
A tear fell which she did not bother to wipe away. “We can be that have it, together. After today, we- we will be everything to each other.” She reached up, her soft palm cupping his cheek, thumb tracing the jagged edge of his scar. “It doesn’t have to- to hurt after our fates are tied, not for either of us. Wwwe’ll be bound together, forever.”
Caspian breathed her in, light and floral, vaguely sweet. The scent filled him, and with it, the loneliness, the heartache, the longing. He could feel it echoing within him. But she was right. It didn’t need to hurt anymore. Tying knots today would not only give him the freedom to move on from his hurts, but it would also mean a stable union to secure the future of the holdings the prince had entrusted to him. And it was not as if Priscilla was objectionable. In fact, she had proven herself kind, thoughtful, and patient to the point of pain in regard to his behavior. The truth remained evident and inescapable. Keira had made her choice, and now he would have to do the same.
All he had to do was let go.
Keira
Keira released her hold on the portal just as Gareth began to vomit violently into the snow.
“My sentiments exactly,” Florian said thickly, as if holding down a similar response.
Beside him, even Yvette was looking a little green.
“I, for one, will be walking home, thanks,” Lilith stated sourly, to a seemingly unanimous agreement.
Knox’s arm jutted out, catching himself against a tree as his balance faltered.
“Don’t you dare!” Lilith warned as he doubled over. “You need to keep your tonic down. We don’t have enough for you to keep coughing it back up.”
Knox growled in response, and Keira reconsidered the wisdom of bringing him along so close to the full moon. His tonic would stifle the change, but it wouldn’t dull his temper.
“You could have warned us,” Rhea accused as the sound of Gareth retching caused Florian to gag.
Keira rubbed her fingers over her brow, though her discomfort stemmed from an entirely different source. After Keira had transported herself to the wintry forests outside of Northall, she had been able to form a connection to Yvette back in Grimlocke. Her head was pounding, body aching from the stress of holding the portal between them open long enough for them all to step through.
“I hadn’t foreseen it as an issue. It’s been so long since I learned transportative magic, and it never affected me so-” Her point was punctuated by Florian losing his stomach behind a tree. “Dramatically.”
“How close did you manage to get us?” Lilith asked, looking through the trees.
Keira surveyed the area. She had taken them to the forest west of Northall, as she didn’t know what to expect as they came closer. One never wanted to appear in the midst of enemies, especially not… compromised.
Gareth finally found his footing and stood, hand resting on a sturdy tree. “Never again,” he grunted.
“Northall is just through the trees,” Keira said, nodding in the appropriate direction.
