A moment later, Stef erupts messily all over himself, a thrill to watch as he arches his back again.
I let myself go too, wanting to finish before the sensation of me becomes too much for him after he comes. It’s alarming how much I want him too, if I let myself feel it. My body craves his, my own want consuming me. Blood rushes in my ears like a dam bursting.
And I lean my head back and thrust and come hard. Stef whimpers, and eventually, shaking, I sink down fully onto my legs folded beneath me, still grasping his hips. Then, I bend to lick his cum off his chest as he shivers with the flick of my tongue.
Stef stares up at me, gasping for air. At last, I slide out, deal with the condom, and flop down once more beside him. I shift onto my side to kiss him, more leisurely now as I savor him. I trace his cheekbone. He shivers.
“Is this what you imagined? What you wanted? Being with a man?” I ask quietly, sliding my leg over his, our bodies slick with perspiration. Stef moves closer to me, nestling into my arm, and I pull him tight. God. I breathe in the scent of his skin, his cologne, wanting to remember this moment forever.
“More than I want to admit,” Stef breathes. Goose bumps cover his arm, now flung over me. “More than anything… being with you, Theo.”
I brush my lips against his, and I don’t want to ever stop smiling. If only we could live in this moment forever.
We lie there, entwined, till we fall asleep under the evening sun.
Chapter Forty-Two
When I wake, it’s dark. Stef’s warm against me in a curl, his forehead pushing against my shoulder. I have no idea what time it is, but I definitely ejaculated any semblance of brains out—that’s the one thing I do know. I rub my eyes. My movement makes Stef shift, and I stop immediately, pulling him closer in hopes he’ll go back to proper sleep again.
But instead, Stef kisses my shoulder. “Hi,” he whispers, almost tentative. It’s hard to see his expression in the low light, to read him.
“Hi.”
He traces my chest, falling quiet again, like how he was when I arrived yesterday. I hope he’s not regretting last night. Regretting being together. Because I don’t want him to feel bad about it—or anything else either.
“You alright, gorgeous?” I ask after a moment.
“Yes. No. Maybe.”
“I think,” I drawl with a chuckle, “you’ve hit all the possible options.”
“It’s because they’re all true.” Stef moves onto his elbow and lifts his head to look down at me. There’s a little light coming in from outside through the partly open top shutters. “God, Theo.”
I’m quiet as he sits up. The sheets rustle.
“You’re a dangerous man,” Stef tells me, rubbing his face, “because I feel totally different when I’m around you.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” I ask, concerned, not sure how I should take this. I fold my arms under my head.
He goes back to tracing my chest. The curve of my pecs. I shiver, entranced. “Can’t tell yet,” Stef says.
“Hmm.” I consider him, or more like his shadowed silhouette. I want to protect him. Keep him safe. Even if that’s from me. “I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything you don’t want to do.”
“I don’t,” he says instantly and lets me draw him down again into my arms. He settles comfortably against my chest, as if I’ve held him countless times, fitting just so, like we belong together. But I sense his hesitation. “I just… I don’t know. I think up is one way, and down is another, and then I’m like one of those snow globes that’s been shaken up and there’s snow falling every which way and I don’t know where it starts or ends.” He gulps.
“Do you need to know?”
“I guess?”
“Snowstorms are romantic.” I smile affectionately at him, trying to cheer him, even though I don’t want him to feel out of sorts about us. Not right now. “I don’t know how many snowstorms you get in Greece.”
“Few. More up in northern Greece, in the mountains. In New York, definitely.”
“Let’s pretend, then.” I nuzzle into his neck and then bite him lightly. He shivers and laughs. “We’re in our own storm.”
“I love pretending with you,” Stef whispers. “It’s so easy.”
Then we’re kissing again, exploring each other more leisurely now as we let our bodies take over in the darkness, together.
