And I’m left staring at the ceiling on the sofa, trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to get through next weekend with the Duke of Wiltshire at Windsor Castle while trying to not think about Stefanos.
I’m totally, totally fucked.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The sun shines on a gorgeous April day as James bombs through the countryside in his SUV like a total terror, whistling and tapping his fingers along to the beat of the music. The good news for us is that he’s a very skillful driver and obviously missed his calling in Formula 1. We’re going up a day early so James can oversee the last of the preparation and meet his party planner. As for me, I needed to get the hell out of London and my flat and thinking too much about either Stef or about how I’m going to be King soon.
Unsurprisingly, we reach our destination in good time, the expanse of green countryside a salve to the spirit. James rolls his SUV along the gravel driveway to the private parking.
“Auggie’s coming up tomorrow,” James informs me as he parks by a hedge. “And his beau.”
I rub my eyes under my sunglasses.
“You alright, old thing?”
“I think I left my stomach somewhere as you ricocheted past Heathrow on our way to the castle. You’re a maniac, man,” I tell him.
“Nonsense. A little fresh air and food will put you right again.” He’s unfazed. “Let’s go.”
Getting out of the SUV is a relief. Stretching, I rub my back, then go to the boot of the SUV and take my suitcase from James and my tuxedo hanging in its garment bag. He follows suit and takes the lead, walking to the private entry to the castle.
We’re soon met by a pair of footmen who insist on taking our things up to our rooms.
“Right, then,” says James as he claps his hands. “Let’s crash the kitchen for a sandwich, then let’s go outside for some sun before getting to business.”
Before long, after startling the staff in the kitchens, we’re very quickly presented with sandwiches and bottles of beer.
“Truly, we can carry these things ourselves,” James insists to the staff as we gather up our lunch.
Following James, we’re soon seated on a garden bench in the sunshine, overlooked by the castle and with a great view of the East Courtyard gardens. The sandwiches do a lot to restore me. It’s a warm spring day, which is a great preview for the days ahead. We mostly eat in silence, hunger hitting us both harder than we thought.
James peers at me, leaning back on the bench. “Well? Better?”
“Better,” I confirm, turning slightly to look at him over my beer. “You?”
“Always better after food. Now… the plan.” His gaze is rapt on me. “Edward arrives tomorrow afternoon. He’s aware of your situation.”
“What—exactly—about my situation is he aware of?” It never hurts to be too careful with James. His capacity to go rogue is unbounded. I’ve been accused of the same, but it’s hearsay.
“That you need a reputational makeover for your future and to be seen with an eligible and respectable man. We’ve been over this,” he explains patiently.
“Does he know… it’s fake?” I try carefully. “Hate to lead him on or anything.”
“He’s aware.” James gives me a serious look, appraising. “But if something more develops, I’m all for it.”
I open my mouth and shut it. How much he suspects about me and Stef is a mystery. Aside from the obvious, of course, that we were in Greece together. So he suspects enough. And he also must know Stef’s secret and is making an effort. To protect him.
From me.
Something heavy settles into my chest. The feeling that I’m fucking up Stef’s life as well as my own. Which is definitely not what I want. After all, I want Stef to be happy and ideally live who he is out in the open. But as someone else caught in a complicated situation, I get it.
Even if I don’t like that I can’t be part of it one bit. This party would be way more fun with him here.
Not trusting myself to speak quite then, I swallow hard and nod.
“Good.” He claps my arm. “My cousin is an excellent person and very discreet, for the record.”
“Noted.” Hesitating, I scan the gardens, trying to shake off the bittersweet feeling that’s settled over me. “And what, exactly, have you told him about me?”
