I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it again when I realized he was right. The memory came back easily—me standing in the aisle of some random store, holding the box up and cackling while Noah pretended he wasn’t watching me with that soft, fond look he always thought I didn’t notice. My cheeks warmed thinking about it.
“It’s cute you remembered that,” I said, my voice above a whisper. It was alarming, in a good way, how little any of the previous guys I had dated did. “Makes me realize everyone I’ve dated before was…not thoughtful.”
He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms loosely, eyes flicking over my face like he was cataloging my reactions. His gaze was always intense, always like he saw through me. “You’re allowed to be wooed, Em. I’m trying to make up for lost timeandshow you that all those guys before? Not me.”
“Okay, don’t say all those guys…there wasn’t…it’s not like there’s a huge line of them.”
He leaned his shoulder into mine, the gesture familiar and comforting at the same time. “Sure, but you have dated, and they leave a mark. My job is to remove those marks and show you how you should be treated, Em.”
Something in his tone—light but sincere—hit me square in the chest. I looked back down at the puzzle, suddenly invested in finding matching pieces so I wouldn’t have to deal with the way my throat tightened.
We worked in companionable quiet for a few minutes, the kind that didn’t feel awkward or heavy. Just the soft squish of pieces, the hum of the fridge, and Noah’s forearm occasionallybrushing mine when we both reached for the same section. Each small touch felt amplified, like my body was tuned too high.
“You’re focused,” he said eventually, amusement lacing his voice. “Either you want to finish this puzzle tonight, or, you’re avoiding having a conversation.”
“I’m competitive,” I replied without looking up.
He laughed, low and warm. “Oh, I know how you get when we play games, but this isn’t a game. It’s a puzzle that we can take our time with.” He placed a hand on my shoulder, letting his thumb graze my collarbone. I shuddered, that simple touch causing goose bumps to trail down the left side of my body.
I glanced up at him at that, my fingers stilling. His expression had softened, the joking edge gone, replaced with something quieter and more serious.
“What I mean is,” he added, “I like this. Being here with you. Doesn’t matter what we’re doing. We’re in no hurry here, okay?”
My chest fluttered, nerves and warmth tangling together. “Do you mean the puzzle or…us?”
He hummed to himself for a beat, the delayed silence causing a tornado of butterflies to rampage my gut. But then I found a piece I needed. I fit a piece into place and felt an absurd amount of satisfaction when it clicked. “Hey, look,” I added, pointing. “I found the dog’s ear!”
Noah leaned closer to inspect it, his shoulder pressing lightly against mine. I could feel his heat through the thin fabric of my shirt, the solid presence of him comforting and distracting all at once. “That’s impressive,” he said seriously. “Critical component.”
“I know,” I said, grinning. “Without the ear, the whole thing falls apart.”
“Bit dramatic,” he teased, but his gaze lingered on me instead of the puzzle. “But I get it.”
Our eyes held for a second too long, the air between us thickening in that familiar, charged way. My heart started racing, and I became acutely aware of how close he was—how easily he could lean in, how easily I would let him.
“So,” he said, breaking the moment, voice deliberately casual. “I meant both. The puzzle and you and me. But…can I ask you something?”
I nodded, grateful for the shift even as part of me wished he hadn’t pulled away. “Yeah.”
He picked up a piece and turned it between his fingers, suddenly looking more nervous than I’d seen him all evening. “What scares you most about… this?” He gestured vaguely between us. “Us trying.”
The question landed softly but hit me hard. This was, in fact, my biggest hang-up, the reason I stayed up at night, overanalyzing this. I swallowed, setting my own piece down. “Messing it up,” I admitted. “Losing what we already have. Losing my heart to you and…” I swallowed, not quite putting to words the fear. I stalled, chewing my lip as a heavy exhale left me.
His jaw tightened slightly, but his eyes stayed gentle. “And what, Em?”
“I’m not good at half-measures,” I continued, forcing myself to keep going. “When I care, I care hard. And that hasn’t always gone well for me. I’ve been let down so many times and lied to and…that left marks, as you said. I can’t… survive that with you.”
He reached out then, slowly, like he was giving me time to pull back if I wanted. His hand covered mine on the table, warm and steady. He twisted my hand over, brought my palm to his mouth, and kissed the center.
“I don’t want to be another thing that hurts you,” he said quietly. “I’m worried I’m not good enough for you, and that’s my biggest fear.”
I squeezed his fingers, my thumb brushing over his knuckle. “Now that’sabsurd.Why would you think you’re not good enough for me? And when have you hurt me?”
“I didn’t call you after the alumni event.” His voice turned serious, deep. He swallowed hard, his gaze darting between my eyes. “I hurt you then. I know I did. And I fucking regret it. It ties into the second fear, that I’m too much. I’m a guardian now. My parents might sue me. My career is demanding. I’m a local celebrity. All that comes with a lot of fucking baggage. I don’t—I can’t, drag you through that.”
“Noah, I sometimes feel like I’m not good enough foryou.” I chuckled, but it didn’t have humor. “You have this huge life, and I don’t. My dad still upsets me, and I people-please too much. I don’t have a lot to offer.”
“See, that’s where I disagree with you and am gonna get mad.” He ran his tongue over his teeth, a flash of anger crossing his face. “And I’m not sure if it’s your parents, or your ex, who put that thought into your head. Because you, Em Sanders, are fucking amazing.”
