“This one is for you,” he said, setting warm cup of coffee with a splash of cream. “Exactly how you like it.”
I met his eyes again, and my stomach filled with butterflies thinking about last night. The way our bodies melded together, how he stopped before we could go further. I leaned forward to take the cup, my face blushing like he could read my thoughts. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” Noah bent down and picked Miles up, holding him like a baby as the kid giggled. “Now, I have to head to the stadium all day again, little man. You gonna be good for, Ms. Em? You gonna listen at school today?”
“Yes and yes!” He wiggled like a worm as Noah tickled him. “No more! I’m gonna pee!”
Noah chuckled and set him down, his eyes crinkling on the sides as he hugged him tight. “Love you, dragon rider. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Love you too! Em, Em, let’s go eat pancakes!” He tugged my hand, and I stood, letting the kid pull me.
Noah stopped me, hand to my stomach, his jaw flexing as he released Miles’s hand from me. “Give me two minutes, kiddo. Get the syrup out for me, would ya?”
Miles’s brain already moved onto the task, and all I could focus on was the heat of his hand on my stomach. I sucked in a breath, frozen from being so close to him. He was showered, smelled so damn good, where my hair was a disaster, and I had morning breath. “Noah?—”
“I took Sassy out for you. Packed his lunch. Please remind him it’s library day today and he needs to return thefourbooks he has.” His hand moved up my side, over my collarbone until he cupped my face. His breath hit my lips before he kissed me softly, quickly. “I have another date planned tonight.”
“Oh, do you?” I whispered, shocked I was able to speak. Every part of my body was tuned into him, his touch, the way he stared at me. “Who said I was free?”
“Be free.” He swallowed, his gaze dropping to my lips. “For me, please?”
“Well, shit.” I bit my lip, and his gaze darkened. “When you ask so sweetly.”
“I’ll remember that. Em likes sweet.” He chuckled and brushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. “Fuck, you’re so pretty. I’m getting used to seeing you every morning, might become addicted to it. Glad your apartment is gonna take at least another month.”
My stomach swooped, but before I could reply, he kissed my temple and patted Sassy’s head. “Bye, guys. See you all later. Be good!”
Then, he walked out the door.
I finished my first coffee, then poured another one, added cream without measuring, and leaned against the counter while my brain finally caught up to my body. My muscles felt loose from the facial, my lips still tingled from being kissed within aninch of my sanity, and my heart was doing that stupid, floaty thing it only ever did when I cared too much. I waited for the familiar crash—the regret, the anxiety, the sudden urge to emotionally self-flagellate.
It didn’t come. I kept smiling as Miles was a cute little tornado getting ready for the day. He wanted to wear his Rampage shirt and matching sweatpants despite the summer heat lingering in the city. I at least convinced him to let me brush his hair, because it was dark and wild. Once we were ready and in the car, I checked my phone and saw an audio message pop up from Noah. He’d have to wait.
Miles’s drop-off was its usual brand of chaos, the kind that required at least three reminders and one deep breath before eight a.m. He forgot his library book even though we’d talked about it three times—once at breakfast, once in the car, and once when he swore he definitely remembered it this time. I let it go, because the way he bounced out of the backseat, backpack too big and shirt already crooked, mattered more than a stack of dinosaur books.
He announced to his teacher that I lived at his house now, loud and proud and entirely unconcerned with logistics or adult conversations that might need to follow. The resilience of this kid and how he made me feel like I was part of his pack brought me more joy than I imagined. I smiled, waved, and chose to interpret it as affection instead of a future headache involving explanations and boundary-setting. The teacher gave me a look that said,kids say things, and I mouthedsorrybefore backing away.
I waved until he disappeared into the building, until the doors shut and the noise dulled, and only then did I sit back in the driver’s seat. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel for a few seconds longer than necessary, then hit play.
“Hey. Uh—hi.”
There was a pause, the faint sound of a blinker clicking.
“I’m on Lakeshore, and traffic’s terrible, so if this cuts out or you hear someone aggressively honking, that’s not me losing my mind. Yet.”
I smiled despite myself, the tension in my shoulders easing a little. He sounded the same, but his voice hit me deeper now. Probably because he asked me for another date and used please.
“I was thinking about what we said last night… about shutting down.”
He paused again, longer this time, like he was choosing his words instead of defaulting to them.
“When I shut down, it’s usually because I think I’m failing someone. Not in a super dramatic way. More like… my brain starts making lists of everything I should be doing better.”
I pictured him doing exactly that and pressed my lips together.
“I don’t get loud or obnoxious when that happens. I get quiet. Too quiet. And sometimes, when I’m like that, I freeze. I don’t do anything, and it’s not because I don’t care, no, not that at all. It’s usually because I care too much and don’t trust myself to say the right thing or make the right choice or do the right thing yet.”
A breath.
