I let her talk. I watched the side of her face, particularly the small scar at the edge of her jaw, thin and old. An experiment gone sideways, probably.
She smelled different at night than during the day. Softer. Less like the laboratory. More like herself.
She folded her hands on her lap. I’d started to read her hands the way she read everything else. When they moved, she was engaged. When they were still, she was either at peace or working on her next challenge.
I liked that they were still now because it meant she was at peace while sitting beside me.
I wanted her to always be at peace, though I didn’t examine what that meant. I’d do that later, alone, like a reasonable person who didn’t want to sit with feelings on a locked balcony.
A natural lull fell over our conversation. The forest settled into its night sounds around us. Victoria went quiet, watching the canopy sway.
“I’m glad it was you,” I said. Too few words that meant everything buried deep inside me.
Something about the dark brought out my vulnerabilities. That and the fact that she was warm against my side. I enjoyed talking with her, especially when both of us said true things without the armor we usually wore.
It was hard to express my feelings about the marriage and the fact that she’d walked into my father’s unused office and claimed it without flinching. She’d brought us yarrow extract and asked how patrol went and didn’t shrink from Bastian. She’d learned my pack members’ names and came here and made this place feel, unexpectedly, like somewhere worth coming home to.
I’d thought our arrangement would be something to endure.
I was wrong.
Victoria stayed quiet for a moment. I didn’t look at her but at the forest.
“Me too,” she finally said.
Two words. I didn’t need more.
My wolf remained silent, his equivalent of reverence.
The parts of me that had been braced since I was nineteen years old, suddenly alpha, and entirely alone, loosened by one degree.
Some might say it was dangerous to let myself relax, but I didn’t care.
I stopped thinking and sat there with my wife in the dark and let this be what it was.
Behind us, the latch lifted, and the door swung open a crack.
Small paws retreated across the floor, heading for the sofa, followed by the sound of a squirrel settling down to sleep with a heavy sigh.
That rodent was the most effective political operative I’d ever encountered, though I’d never tell him.
I stood and offered Victoria my hand, grateful when she took it.
I pulled her up and held it for three steps, until we were through the door.
I didn’t know if she noticed.
She noticed,my wolf said.
The suite was dark except for the low burn of the fire. Inside our bedroom, Victoria walked into the bathing chamber. Water ran and clothing rustled.
I banked the fire and moved around the space, doing the things I did before sleep.
She came out of the bathing chamber and I went in, spending more time grooming than I ever had before. I felt almost nervous, which was ridiculous.
When I came to bed wearing only a simple loincloth, there were no pillows arranged down the center of the mattress.
She lay on her side, facing the windows. Still awake. Her breathing wasn’t sleep-breathing. I could sense the difference.
