My heart broke for her, both the woman she was now, and the child who’d endured so much. Without anyone to even comfort her. Ever.
In a place of eternal burning sunshine, she’d found a way to keep herself frozen, cold, and untouched. Simply to survive.
I fought the urge to reach out to her, offering a hug or a shoulder. But after so much trauma, even a simple innocent touch might be triggering to her. Instead, I simply waited for her to guide me, keeping my face open and soft, my understanding and compassion hopefully shining in my eyes.
“I refuse to spare any more tears for that monster.” Despite her words, tears pooled in her eyes. A crack of emotion made her shoulders shake with another deep breath. “I was pregnant with Ra’s heir. A solar queen. His heart’s desire.”
Her alpha wrapped his arms tighter around her, but sheshivered harder as if re-living those moments all over again. I stood and quickly retrieved a decorative blanket to tuck around her. Warmth. Comfort. Safety. These I could provide for her, though I wished I could do more. I hadn’t known what Ra did to queens until Vivian had come to me. I might have been able to free Karmen a few days quicker, but I’d needed time to gather all the information from Isis’ legacy to even know how I might be able to defeat him.
In the scope of hundreds of years, a day or two longer of torment probably wouldn’t have made much difference, but I couldn’t help but wonder. What if I’d immediately gone to Heliopolis? If I could have spared her even one rape, it would have been worth it. Though we both may have died if I’d rushed to Heliopolis.
Karmen snagged my hand before I could move back to my chair, her eyes huge and shimmering with tears. I dropped down to my knees before her, holding her hand, but saying nothing. Letting her share everything she wished to get out. From waking up without any memory in Chicago to meeting Eivind and then his sister. Her terror when the sundogs hunted her down—only to reveal her Blood responding. Coming to her defense against Sepdet.
“I couldn’t keep it,” she whispered, searching my face, her fingers clutching mine tightly. “Sepdet tore his way out of his mother’s body and devoured her. I refused to risk it. I want no part of Ra to linger inside me. Ever again.”
I held her gaze without flinching and squeezed her fingers, willing reassurance to shine in my eyes, even as I cried with her. “What he did to you was an abomination. I’m glad you’re free.”
Her teeth chattered. “But am I? High Lord Amun said his Sun still burns in me. I embraced Sól’s power and felt Her burn everything away, but now I’m not sure. I’m bleeding so much. I just don’t know, and I have to be sure.”
I patted our clasped hands softly. “Of course, I completelyunderstand. Dr. Borcht can run some tests and give you an answer. She may even have human medication that can help. I’ve trusted her with my care in the past.”
“Okay,” Karmen breathed out.
:We’re ready for Mala,:I said in the bond.
Immediately, my Blood opened the door and Dr. Borcht stepped into the room with her black bag. I moved slightly to the side so the doctor had plenty of room to examine Karmen.
“Your Majesty, I’m Dr. Mala Borcht,” she said with a formal curtsy. “Before we get started, I feel you should know I have viewed some of your medical information already. Dr. Mason from Northwestern Memorial Hospital sent your blood work to my lab for additional testing.” She sighed heavily, giving me a quick look of remorse. “I admit I would have told my queen about your medical history, but she refused to listen. She said it was your secret to tell, if you wished.”
Karmen’s gaze flickered quickly between Mala and mine, her eyes tightening slightly with accusation for a moment, fading to doubt, and then actual surprise. “And Smoak didn’t tell you?”
“I forbade it. I admit that I suspected, but it was your news to share in your own time.”
“I see you’ve lost a great deal of blood,” Dr. Borcht said. “May I examine you, Your Majesty?”
“What will that entail?”
“First, only some questions while I draw some blood with a syringe to take to the lab for testing.”
When Karmen nodded, Dr. Borcht asked, “When did the bleeding begin?”
“Maybe a day or two ago? I slept through the worst of it, but it’s definitely gotten heavier in the last few hours.”
“Do you know how many weeks or months you’ve been pregnant?”
“Honestly, not very long, though it’s hard to measure thepassage of time when I’m not here. Sunzi got me out of Heliopolis immediately.”
Dr. Borcht looked up from her notepad where she’d been writing quickly. “As in the moment of conception immediately?”
“I believe so,” her alpha replied. “My sunfire was drawn to touch her in that moment, and we saw the initial spark.”
“Incredible.” She scribbled frantically. “So when Dr. Mason ran your bloodwork in Chicago, it might have only been hours, yet there were already increased levels of hCG. It usually takes at least ten days for us to be able to notice a measurable difference in humans.”
“Is that bad?”
“Not at all, just different.” A wry smile curved Mala’s lips. “Please forgive my enthusiasm during this difficult time, Your Majesty. I’ve not had the first-hand chance to study hCG levels in Aima queens. In fact, no one has since it’s been so difficult for queens to conceive for the last few hundred years.”
Karmen’s shoulders tensed, her features smoothing back to the cold, untouched expressionless marble. Though I knew her better enough now to recognize it as self-preservation. No doubt she feared we’d attack her for eliminating a possible future queen.
