Batting her hands away, I turned from her mouth. “Get off me,” I muttered.
Still laughing, Ella kissed me again, this time reaching for my belt.
“Get the fuck off!” I shouted, a sliver of clarity sending me shoving to my feet. Ella hit the floor hard, sprawling backward in a laughing heap while I staggered forward, clutching at furniture.
Blindly pushing past her door, I broke into a run, zigzagging drunkenly through the moonlit camp. Sickness swelling in my gut, I sagged against the nearest tree, collapsing at the base of it, heaving until I’d emptied my stomach onto the grass.
Leaning back against the tree, I dragged a shaking hand across my mouth and squinted out across the spinning landscape.Whereas earlier, I’d felt warm and numb—now I only felt desolate. Desolate and desperate to see Willow. To know what she was doing right this second.
Pushing myself up off theground, I stumbled off in the direction of home. Passing one of the water pumps, I filled my hands and took long gulps to clear the taste of vomit from my mouth before taking off, stumbling once again. Reaching the cabin, I staggered noisily through the door.
The small lamp between bunk beds glowed in the darkness, highlighting the cozy scene on Willow’s bed—Lucas sprawled on his back with Willow nestled against his side. Seeing them like this—cuddled together as if nothing had changed, as if Willow and I had never happened—felt ten times worse than I’d thought it would. Yet another blow to my already battered soul.
While I stood there swaying in the center of the cabin, wishing it was me in bed beside her, Willow’s eyes opened. Lifting her head up, her mouth began to move, her lips forming silent words I couldn’t make out. Frowning, I shook my head, creeping closer until the floor creaked loudly beneath my feet. I went still as Lucas shifted in his sleep, tightening his grip around Willow and pulling her closer to him.
Pulling her farther from me.
Everything went black—as black as the dark, terrible part of me that wished Lucas had stayed dead.
I ran from them, from the cabin and from the violent feelings churning within me. I didn’t have a clue where I was going; I only knew that I needed to put as much space as possible between me and my brother, and the woman we both loved.
