Logan
The sun had long since set, its rising streaks of light filtering inside our small cabin through the cracks in the curtains. Outside, Silver Lake was just waking up, the distant sounds of people walking and talking drifting in through the open windows. I hadn’t slept a wink; I’d only lain here, holding tight to the woman snoring softly in my arms.
Fuck.
I was just…fuck.
When you’ve wanted something for so long—so goddamn, motherfucking long—that you’d convinced yourself that you no longer wanted it, that you hated it even, if only to make the days, the months, the years, go by a little easier. And then you finally have it—it’s sprawled over top of you—you can touch it, taste it,love it…
I felt wrecked.Thoroughly ruined and wrung out… but in the best possible way.
And for the first time in my entire life, I didn’t feel the pull to keep moving, to keep searching for something better. The ball of dread and unease that had long ago formed in the pit of my stomach that had been slowly unraveling during our time at Silver Lake had dissipated entirely at some point during the night.
Sleepy brown eyes framed in thick black lashes blinked up at me, eyes that shuttered the moment they’d connected with mine. As Willow attempted to untangle herself from me, I tightened my hold and rolled on top of her. I’d been waiting for her to wake up, knowing the second she saw me, she’d be flooded with guilt again. All night I’d been thinking of ways to redirect those feelings, only to come to the conclusion that I should simply let her deal with them. Only now, faced with the situation, my body had a very different reaction.
“Don’t,” I growled, taking her chin in hand and forcing her to look at me. “We’re not going to fuck and then pretend we didn’t. Not anymore.”
Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth as her eyes searched mine. “It’s not that,” she said, sighing. “It’s… I guess I just don’t know how to be with anyone but Luke. It’s always been me and him… he’s all I’ve known.”
It wasn’t as if I needed a reminder that she and my brother had been inseparable for over a decade; I’d lived that. But there was something particularly horrible about her invoking his name while she lay naked beneath me, after having spent half the night inside of her. Rolling off her, I swung my legs out of bed and scrubbed a hand down my face, leaving it clasped over my mouth, hoping it might stifle all the angry, immature things I suddenly wanted to say.It felt ridiculous to be jealous of my dead brother—but old habits die hard, I supposed.
The bed shifted as Willow joined me at the edge of the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest.“Logan, I’m sorry, but this is kinda weird for me—isn’t it weird for you?”
“Maybe,” I replied tightly. “But I’m not really thinking about it.” Which was a bald-faced lie. I’d been thinking about it all night long, among a million other things. I just didn’t want her to be thinking about it. Abouthim. I wanted her to stay in the present with me.
“I don’t know how tonotthink about it,” she replied. “I feel like everything changed really, really fast and I’m still trying to catch up.”
It felt strange hearing her say how quickly everything had happened, because for me it felt as if I’d been living with my imprisoned feelings for years.
“Are you mad?” she continued, her voice rising. “Because if you are, I think that’s really unfair. Are we just not going to talk about Luke now that… this happened?”
I flicked my gaze in her direction. “This?”
“Yes, this.”
“What’sthis?”
“Oh my god,” she ground out, making a face. “You know what this is—this is us. Us on the dresser. Us in the bed. Us on the floor after we fell out of bed.Us, Logan—us!”
I nearly smiled beneath my hand.Us.She really had no idea what that one word did to me, the absolute power it had over me.
Frowning at me, she asked, “Are you going to say anything?” A look of irritation crossed her features. “God, Logan, what is that stupid look on your face? What are you thinking about right now?”
This time it was laughter I was holding back. If she had even an inkling of anything I was thinking, or how I really felt about her, she would run for the hills… instead of just the bathroom.
With a noise of frustration, Willow moved to stand. Grabbing her wrist, I pulled her back into bed, trapping her under me.
“What am I thinking?” I said. “I’m thinking you look really fucking beautiful right now.” Ripping the pillow from her clutches, I gazed down the naked length of her body while she laughed and squirmed and cursed. Beautiful was the understatement of the century. Willow was a knockout from head to toe—her face, her body, the way she smiled, the way she moved…
Replacing my gaze with my hand, I felt my way down her body, satisfaction curling through me as her eyes grew hooded and her laughter turned to gasps. “Logan,” she breathed, lifting her hips, pushing against my hand. “Logan.”
“What?” I growled softly, slipping a finger inside her.
Her eyes widened. Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. “We’re going to be late,” she whispered, her hands twisting in the sheets.
“I don’t give a shit,” I said, adding another finger and working her faster.
“Oh, goddamn you,” she groaned, eyelids fluttering. “Logan…fuck…please!”
