“Jenny?”
There was no answer. Not even from the voice inside my head.
• • •
The drive back to Purgatory was uneventful, other than getting lost several times. It was nightfall by the time I pulled up to the gates, and without the energy to fight, I allowed the guards to search my truck, not even caring when a few of them pocketed some of my things.
I parked in my usual spot, alongside all the junkers and metal shells waiting to be picked apart and used for something with purpose, and then I began walking. I chose the long route, through the surrounding fields instead of the compound, hoping to avoid running into anyone.
Halfway home during my trek through the tall grass, the sun had all but disappeared and the outline of the moon could be seen on the horizon. Sarah had always loved the moon.
“Sun, sun, go away,” she’d sing. “I want to see the moon today.” Jeffy would chime in, and because he was so young,moonhad always sounded likemoob. It had become a running joke in our family to call the moon themoob, something Jenny was constantly fretting over.
“He’s going to grow up calling it a moob!” she’d yell, and I would laugh.
“You said moob,” I’d tease her, and I’d keep teasing her until she stopped being ridiculous and her angry scowl slowly eased into a smile.
But he never got to grow up.
Swallowing back a wave of sorrow, I kept staring at that damn moon. “I miss you,” I said. “I really fucking miss you.”
“E?”
I dropped my gaze and shock stopped me dead in my tracks. Autumn was standing in the middle of the tall grass, my house not far behind her. She was filthy, dirt streaked across her cheeks, up and down her bare arms, and covering her clothes.
“I’ve been waiting all day,” she said, her voice small and unsure. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said the first thing I could think of. “I thought you were gone.”
She shrugged one thin shoulder, and her gaze dropped to the grass. “I was,” she whispered. “But then I wasn’t.”
“Why?” I spat out as anger bled through me. “Why fucking bother coming back here when you could have gone home? That’s what you wanted, right? To go back to whatever hole you crawled out of, back to eating bugs and smearing shit all over yourself.”
When she didn’t answer me, I stormed forward, stopping right in front of her. “Why?” I demanded. “Why the fuck would you—”
“You!” she cried, raising her head and pinning with me those innocent eyes of hers, now filled with accusation and tears. “I came back for y—”
Grabbing Autumn and wrenching her up against me, I bent my head and stole the rest of that sentence straight from her lips. I didn’t want to fight with her, and I didn’t want to hear her insane reasoning for coming back to this hellhole, especially if that reason was me. I didn’t want to be responsible for the repercussions of that stupid decision.
All I wanted to do was kiss her again, kiss her and touch her, and make the world go quiet.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Autumn
Beneath my green blanket, I curled myself around Eagle’s hard body, sliding my arm over his stomach and placing my cheek on his bare chest. Still needing to be closer, I draped my leg over one of his and tucked my foot beneath his calf. Although his arm tightened around me, he continued snoring.
Last night he had carried me back to his home, stripped off my dirty clothing, leaving me in only my underwear, and laid me down on his mattress. Removing his own clothes next, he climbed in beside me, then pulled me close and kissed me. Running his fingers through my hair and pressing his body hard against mine, he’d kissed me until I was gasping for breath, dizzy, and aching for something more. But he hadn’t given me more.
And I wanted more. I wanted so much more.
It wasn’t as if I was completely inexperienced. I done most of what there was to do, aside from actual sex. True, it was years ago, and with a boy as nervous and as inexperienced as I was, but that was beside the point. I was ready. More than ready.
Tightening my leg around his, I nuzzled the smattering of hair covering Eagle’s chest. I needed him to touch me, to pay as much attention to my body as he’d paid to my mouth.
Slowly, I began to trace the eagle on his abdomen, over the wings and up to the head, and as I did the snoring stopped. I kept going, lower now, lower until I reached the waistline of his boxers. Swallowing hard, I slid my fingertips inside through the hair I found there, pausing when I found what I was looking for. It was soft and smooth, and just the small act of touching it and holding it in my hand made the ache in my belly and between my legs grow even stronger.
Guided by instinct, I stroked it gently, feeling as it flexed, hardened, and began to grow beneath my palm. My breathing quickened and my skin pebbled. Everything about me felt sensitized and needy. I needed this. I needed him.
