"Especially then." He raises his gaze, and the storm of feeling in his eyes takes me by surprise.
"There’s something I want you to have. This may not be the best time to give it to you, but I also don’t want to delay it."
He looks unsure of himself for the first time since I’ve known him.
"What is it?" I sit up, intrigued.
He switches on the dome light. Then pulls out a velvet box, flips it open, and holds it out.
In a daze, I look at it. It’s a beautiful ring. A deep green emerald sits at the center, its color rich and luminous, like a drop of forest light caught in stone. A thin band of platinum holds it in place, flanked by two small diamonds that make the emerald’s color glow even brighter.
"It’s an engagement ring.”
I'm unable to take my eyes off it. An engagement ring? I just told Grace it didn’t matter that I didn’t have one. But inwardly, I felt, somehow, cheated by it. It’s as if he sensed it, for here he is, handing it to me like he heard me.
"James." I look up at him, then back at the ring. "We’re not really engaged, though."
"Of course, we are. It’s a real wedding. Besides, how would it look if you didn't have one?”
Of course. It’s for appearances sake. It feels bittersweet, that the engagement is not 'real,' but also, that the ring is perfect.
“You can’t wear it in the kitchen, but I hope you will outside.”
All jewelry is forbidden in the kitchen, for health and safety reasons.
He holds out his palm. I place my hand in his, and he slides the ring onto my finger.
30
James
“It's beautiful."
She tilts her hand, and the emerald catches the light, throwing up sparks of gold from somewhere deep in its heart. Like embers. Like her.
"Thank you."
"You’re welcome. I should have given this to you earlier, really."
She should have worn it when I took her to see Margot. It would have sent a stronger message to Margot that she was mine, and that she didn’t get to fuck around with my fiancée. But it hadn’t occurred to me. Not until yesterday, when I saw her wipe the back of her hand across her forehead.
I saw the bare ring finger of her left hand and realized something was missing.
"It’s the perfect time to give it to me." She looks up at me from under her eyelashes.
I frown. What does she mean by that? Then I look around and realize it’s that pre-dawn time. Just before the skies lighten. When the night is at its absolute darkest, and the city slumbers. And it feels like we are theonly two people awake, encased in that absolute stillness that makes you want to whisper.
I have a déjà vu to another time I dropped her home at a similar time.
"This is around the time in the morning I dropped you back at your place, that first time too." I turn to her.
She nods.
Our gazes tangle. The air between us heats. She’s remembering that I kissed her just before I dropped her off. So am I.
Soft lips.
Trembling curves.
