I walk over. Tension tickles down my spine. Carefully, I sit down beside her, afraid that she might break.
“Regan,” I say.
Her eyes snap to mine like she’s surprised I’m there. “Oh, hey, sorry, I didn’t realize?—“
I pull her against me. I hug her tight, breathing in the smell of her shampoo, still lingering despite the shower. She doesn’t move, stiff and nonreacting, and I start to think maybe I fucked up already, I did the wrong thing, until she curls into me and starts to cry.
My wife’s tears stain my shirt. They’re warm and I don’t give a damn. I hold her, not saying much of anything, and I realize there’s not much I can tell her to make this feel okay.
She married a stranger. She nearly got murdered. Now she’s trapped in an unfamiliar apartment with an emotionally distant monster as her only comfort.
I don’t have the right words.
But maybe I don’t need them.
I pull her into the bed. I tuck her under the sheets. She whimpers, curling up. I turn off the lights and climb in behind her, wrapping my arms around her body again.
She relaxes into me.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters, but I only hold her tighter.
I don’t know how long we stay like that. At some point, her body twitches, and I know she’s falling asleep. I don’t move, afraid that I might wake her, and let my mind wander. I keep thinking, I don’t know the last time I held a woman like this. I can’t picture touching someone in a non-sexual way. There’s no warmth in my memories.
And maybe, if this had happened under different circumstances, I might even like it.
CHAPTER 17
REGAN
Idump the last box in the living room and rub a knuckle into my lower back. “I should’ve hired a moving company for this.”
“Ah, come on, it’s not so bad.” Luke flops onto the couch with a groan, rolling his neck. “No, scratch that, it’s terrible.”
I sit next to him and sigh. The place is chaos around us. Liam’s not here, which is a minor blessing, but did he really have to live so high up?
Thank God there’s an elevator at least. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I’d be dead right now.
“Mom sent this for you, by the way.” Luke opens his wallet and flicks a pre-paid Visa card at me.
“Money? Seriously?”
“She said it’s to help you get started.” He stretches his legs. “You know Mom. That’s basically like hugging you and telling you she loves you.”
I slip the card into my pocket because, I mean, free money, I’m not an idiot. “I would’ve preferred the hug.”
“Wrong family then.”
“Seriously, is she okay? I haven’t seen her since the wedding a few days ago.”
“Fine as far as I know. I think what happened really pissed her off though. I haven’t seen her and Dad in the same room.”
“You know what’s crazy? She didn’t want this marriage thing, but she’s such a psycho that she was going to make the wedding perfect anyway. I mean, God forbid we do anything and it’s not to her lofty standards.”
“That’s how she copes.”
I sit back and frown at him. “Copes? Are you actually saying something insightful right now?”
“Hilarious. I’m a student of the human condition, and I can tell you, Mom’s condition is pretty obvious. She’s been living with Dad for most of her life at this point.”
