“I know. That’s why I brought you here. I noticed it the last time I came.”
The last time he came, with a date? Was he thinking about me whilst he was here with another woman? I’m dying to ask, but I lost my right to ask those sorts of things a very long time ago.
“Thank you,” I reply meekly.
“No, thank you. You’ve saved me from a very boring night.”
“Who were you out with earlier?” I ask, after finally remembering how to speak.
“Just the lads. Tommy and Jenson disappeared with different girls, and I wasn’t in the mood to hang around and wait for them. I was on my way for a pizza when I bumped into you.”
“Ah, I’m sorry I interrupted your food run,” I say with a mocking tone.
“Don’t worry, time with you is time well spent.” He smiles, leaning back to push up the sleeves of his shirt. My eyes are fixated on the movement. Watching him as he tenses his muscular forearms. Wow, I’m even turned on by his arms for God's sake.
Uh oh. Those damn vagina tingles are back.
“Oh, really? Spending time with yourfriendis worth giving up a greasy pizza slice for?” I say, slightly breathless from ogling him. If Max notices the change in me, he doesn’t comment on it.
Am I flirting? I think I’m flirting, and I definitely shouldn’t be.
“I would give up everything just to spend another hour with you.” His eyes stay locked on mine as he speaks, the flirtatious glint disappearing from his expression. “Time seems to be the one thing that has always been against us, don’t you think?”
My words are trapped inside my throat. I can’t voice that I agree with him, not without giving him the wrong impression. If we had the time, we could have possibly waited out the family fallout. We could have hoped everyone would be happy with the idea of us. But we didn’t. Because time was never on our side. I was so young back then, I needed to explore the world and findmy place in it. If only time could have made my feelings for him fade, even just a little bit.
“Time is the one thing that no one can control,” I reply.
“If we could, I wonder if things would have ended differently.” His eyes look past me as he is deep in thought.
“I guess we will never know.”
The things I would give to turn back time and do everything differently. But as I said, it’s the one thing that is out of our control.
“I know that we’re just friends now, but there is one thing I have to ask.” My heart is beating so loud I can feel it ringing through my ears. “Did you ever truly love me? Or was it just a fling to you?”
My first reaction is to be upset by such a question. Then I notice the way he is sitting, leaning over the table on his crossed arms. His eyes bounce between mine, studying me. But it’s the hurt I see hidden behind them that makes me take a deep breath. The hurt that I caused.
I can’t lie to him. Not about this. Even if it is something we can never have again.
“Yes, Max. I loved you with every piece of me.”
But what he doesn’t know is that I still do.
