Firemead burned through my veins as I raised a brow at the man before me, studying him. He held my gaze, his expression entirely unreadable. It was frustrating how easy and yet difficult he was to understand. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he shifted and a new clue to the enigma before me was revealed, stumping me once more.
"That wasn't very kind of you." My words were slurred and quiet, the dim tavern light casting shadows over the harsh cut of his jaw as he leaned in closer to hear me over the din of the music and crowd. My fingers itched to brush over the stubble that shadowed his chin and if I had been one tankard deeper, perhaps I would have. Instead I kept my hands safely locked behind his neck, heart racing as I added, “In fact, you haven’t been kind all night.”
He leaned back, the ghost of a smirk crossing his lips as he shrugged, his muscles rippling beneath my arms with the motion. "I've never claimed to be a kind man, so I haven't the faintest clue why you would hold me to such a standard."
Biting the inside of my cheek, I stood on tiptoes, lips brushing his ear, a smile gracing my face at the shiver that rolled over his body with the slight touch. "You can pretend all you'd like, Delmar," my voice was soft as his hands tightened the slightest bit upon my waist, “but l've seen the heart you hide behind those icy glares and menacing scowls."
"A heart wicked and black as the depths of the ocean?" He murmured back, causing my head to tilt back with a laugh. The smile that fellover his face had me flushing as he spun me slowly in time with the music before tugging me back to his all consuming embrace. I smoothed my hands across his shoulders as I shook my head slowly, eyes dancing everywhere except back to his gaze.
"Self deprecation isn't healthy, Captain," I chastised, focusing on that little scar beneath his eye. This time I couldn’t stop myself, the firemead making my resolve stronger than my hesitance, as my thumb brushed lightly over it. Tracing it in the dim light, I whispered, “How did you get this?”
"So quick to change the subject, little menace," he rumbled, as he spun me once more and pulled me in close, my back now resting against his chest. I sighed lightly, head leaning back as we swayed. “If you don't see my heart as wicked and black, then how do you see it?"
Now who's changing the subject, the thought was fleeting. Yet I allowed it, humming lightly to the music as I carefully formulated an answer. He didn't rush me, his fingers running lightly up and down my hips and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe the firemead had released his inhibitions too.
"I've always thought of you as a summer rain," I finally said, lips pursing as I tried to collect my thoughts through the haze of drink. “Warmand revitalizing. I think your heart is the same. Perhaps the rain isn't for everyone. Some may think it bothersome or cold, something to avoid or shield themselves from." I turned then, my grey eyes lifting to meet his. “Yet for those who wish to bask in its beauty, it pours for them."
He searched my face intensely. “Summer rain, huh?"
I flushed, turning back around, once again pressing my back to his chest to hide a wince. A nervous laugh escaped as the confidence the firemead had given me vanished. “Perhaps I drank too much, what do I actually know?"
His hand brushed back my hair, fingers trailing down my neck, sending shivers skittering up my spine as he leaned close. "I like the analogy, Syra. No need to be embarrassed.”
I hummed lightly once more, still swaying in time to the music, relishing in this little moment of time we had found ourselves in.
He was different here.
A different man than he appeared to be in Amori City. Happier, calmer. An ease clung to him that I hadn't seen until we stepped aboard that boat and sailed away. I found myself drawn to it, like a moth to a flame intent on self destruction. Curious and seeking something I couldn't quite place.
The song ended and I felt him back away, his hands falling from my sides and my heart longed for the warmth once more. For his touch.
I spun and he gave a little smile, nothing wicked about this one. Just a simple, beautiful smile.
Rolling my lips, fingers twitching, I took a step forward. "Do you want to keep dancing?"
There was no ballroom of aristocrats to have me second guessing this time, nothing to stop me from asking. No prying eyes seeking a weakness. Yet my attention caught on his free hand, the way it clenched and unclenched, the indecision in his eyes.
Clearing his throat he shook his head, a hesitancy warring within him that had my heart shriveling. The wall I had momentarily dropped rebuilding and reinforcing at the rejection I knew was waiting in that hesitation.
"We have to get up early." He was apologetic, but I knew he wasn't being entirely truthful. There was something else stopping him, something he didn't wish to share. “We should probably head back to the Inn and get some rest."
There was a nervous tension to the set of his shoulders, an unbridled anxiety that had him avoiding my gaze. Had I been too forward? Too keen? My arms moved to wrap around my waist, a shield from the hurt that threatened to claw through my gut.
His gaze finally met mine as I gave a small shake of my head, a soft smile crossing my lips as I gestured back in the direction of the table. “You go ahead, Captain. I'll stay a bit longer with the others, maybe there will be some myths spoken later in the night that will help with the quest."
He hesitated a moment, but I gave a forced laugh, one that didn't sound quite right in the awkwardness that hung between us now, and waved him away. "Go, we'll be fine for a few hours on our own,” my throat strained. “Get some rest."
His tongue darted across his lips, resolve flashing in that multicolored gaze before he bid me goodnight and turned towards the door. I stood for a moment, staring at the door he had exited, the locals around me continuing their dancing.
An unease slithered through me as I made my way to grab another tankard.
Have you grown too attached, little shadow?
They writhed through my mind, their hissing became a pounding behind my eyes. I took a drink.
That a rejection from the Kinslayer of all mortals would be enough to send you into such a sad state.
Remember who and what you are.
