My cheeks grew warmer and when I subtly cast a glance towards Roan, I saw his gaze sharpen upon the man he had been friendly with only moments before. "I wouldn't underestimate her, Antoni," he mused, his words too casual. "She may not be water-blessed, but I have no doubt she could make even the ocean bend to her will through sheer stubbornness."
Huffing, I shoved an elbow into his side causing his arm to fall from me as he let out a laugh. Swiping a few stray hairs from my eyes, I muttered, "I'm notthatstubborn.”
"Stubborn enough to make a life of whatever you wish or dream of, little menace."
Leaning against the siding of the helm, I reached my hand down to catch the spray of saltwater against my palm. Glancing back at the two men, I met Roan’s smile with one of my own. "I do rather like the idea of a life at sea.”
If my statement surprised either of the men, neither showed it.
"It feels," I hesitated, my head falling back to bask in the warmth, "liberating, to be out here, away from the city, with nothing but the sea for hundreds of miles."
Antoni snorted. “Tell me how liberating it feels when you have hundred foot waves at your back and a raging storm threatening to wash you overboard."
I met that cool assessing gaze with contempt of my own, I had tried to be as pleasant as possible to the crew for a week and my patience was beginning to fray. “Perhaps you're right," I said, my smile was saccharine. "Although, maybe l'd rather take my chances with the beasts of the sea than the beastly attitudes aboard this ship."
"Feral as ever." Perhaps I was imagining it, but I almost thought there was pride in Roan’s tone.
We turned as a voice called out to Antoni. Malika—a woman of few words with sharp, dark eyes—was waving him over, her sleek braids swinging with the motion.
Antoni clapped Roan upon the shoulder and leaned in a bit. “Think about it, will you? The girl isn't entirely wrong.” His shrewd stare landed on me for merely a moment before swiveling back to Roan. “It may not always be sunshine and open sea, but itisa freeing life."
With that he took his leave and I raised a questioning brow, heart sinking the slightest bit as I examined the man before me. His shoulders were tense with those parting words, his jaw set as he kept his attention fixed firmly on the horizon.
This last week had been the most relaxed I had ever seen the Kinslayer. At first I had thought it was leaving Amori City, being free of the palace grounds and perhaps a part of it was. However, I hadseenhim over the last few days. The smile that had seemingly etched itself into his face, how he jumped at the opportunity to help wherever he was needed aboardthe ship. Even Bran had commented on it, his voice low when he had asked if the Captain had been possessed by some charming demon. His happiness had been contagious, even when I myself had felt sick at the rocking of the vessel.
"Do you want to take the offer?" My voice was soft, curious. I stepped carefully up beside him, resting lightly against the siding of the deck.
His lips pursed. "Does an answer matter when the outcome will be the same regardless?"
My brows furrowed as my nails picked at a callous on my palm. “You speak as if you yourself have a prophetic blessing, Captain."
Green and silver fixed on me so quickly my spine straightened a bit on instinct, my hands dropping to my sides.
"They would never allow me to leave my position, even coming on this quest took significant persuading from Kai." The bitterness in his tone had me taking a hesitant step closer.
Chewing my lip, a sigh escaped as I looked out over the vast ocean. Squinting against the sunlight, I chose my words carefully. “A king is never a king forever," I reasoned, rocking on my feet as a wary smile formed. “And from what I hear, Prince Kaemon seems a reasonable man, do you think he might allow it?"
Roan glanced sidelong at me, muscles rippling as he crossed his arms. His black shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his tattooed chest, and I glanced at the whirling, gilded symbols inked into his skin, making my breath catch.
"It's an honor to be Captain of the KingsGuard," was his only response, his voice distant and cold.
A non-answer. How annoyingly typical of him.
I shrugged as I met his gaze once more. “Perhaps, but pursuing a dream takes courage and there is honor in that too."
The intensity of his stare had my eyes dropping to the wooden flooring that creaked beneath our feet. I moved to lean back, my arm brushing his with the movement. My mouth pinched as I pushed lightly against him, at the silence left hanging between us. "I'm not the only stubborn one between the two of us, you know." The playfulness was tinged with a sadness I couldn't quite mask. “Speak to Kairen about it. I'm sure he'd hate to lose your company, but a friend would never keep you from a place where you truly feel at home. A place that brings you happiness. If we’re successful in this quest, surely the acceptance of your resignation would be a small price for helping free the kingdom of The Fever.”
Roan let out a sigh of his own, his mask of cold indifference slipping. “He's not merely a friend," he bit out, his hands gripping the ship's edge. “He's also a Solerian Prince, Tavarrian royalty. He will do what is best for his kingdom first."
I was beginning to hate the silence that invaded our conversations. As if the comfortability we had begun to find with one another was edged with distrust still. Words stretched carefully, slow to be spoken aloud. A practiced worry that we both had developed over years of struggling to never say too much, never be too much.
“What of you, then?” He asked suddenly, as if he had heard the thoughts racing through my mind. As if the silence annoyed him as much as it did me.
“What of me?”
“If you had the choice after all of this, would you still want to pursue potion making? If you didn’t have the pressures or obligations of helping your Aunt, is being a Master truly your dream?”
The final question of the second exam came swirling back to me, my tongue twisting with the lie that I attempted to force out.
