A breath released and then I nodded. He smiled, soft and proud before nudging me once more. I stood, wiping the snow from my pants as I made my way to Roan.
Green and silver found me immediately as I approached and he offered a small smile as he shifted to make room. “Hey there.”
“Hi.” My voice was soft as I gingerly sat and leaned my back to the trunk. “Are you doing okay?”
He glanced at me and I expected some quip alluding to the fact that he should be asking me that, but he merely shook his head. “I think we’re all struggling with what we saw that night.”
“You were in mine,” I whispered, the words escaping before I could stop them, my eyes shuttering on a shaky exhale. “Part of it, at least. I thought I had woken and had stumbled from the tent and youwere there. Even in the terror you smelled of cedar and the rain, but…”
My voice trailed off, unable to finish.
“It wasn’t over,” he supplied softly, and I nodded. “You were in mine too.”
“I was?” I asked.
He drew his knees to his chest, arms resting atop them as he leaned his head back against the trunk. “They tied you to the stakebecauseof me. Over and over they said your fate was to burn and that it was my fault. Every time I tried to get to youhewas there. The King. They forced me to watch your skin melt from your bones, your screams worse even then they had been in that tent after Kairen—”
His voice broke then, hands clenching his knees. Grief was a selfish, personal thing. Our suffering was our own, hidden and locked deep within, until it wasn’t. Until it couldn’t be contained and flowed and poured over, vast and all-consuming.
I shifted closer and his arm lifted, pulling me into him, his lips pressing to my hair.
Let him see the darkness that consumes your soul. See if he will tie you to the stake before your heart is to break.
“Roan I—”
My eyes closed, the words so close yet so far. Goddess, I wanted so badly to tell him. To lay myself bare and let it be, let him condemn or set me free.
“You what?” He whispered back, fingers brushing my shoulder.
Bran and Merle. The two people who had kept my secret hidden for fourteen years now. If he rejected me, if he exposed my secrets, it wouldn’t just be mewho suffered the consequences.
“I’m just grateful for you, that's all.” I said instead, lacing a cold hand with his. “I feel like I lost my childhood to grief and guilt. Even now the idea of safety or happiness still sometimes feels like a threat. Thank you for being patient with me.”
His smile was warm as he said, “Whatever you need, I’ll happily give.”
Chapter Forty
“So what, we just sit here andwait?” Rena’s hands were planted upon her hips, her golden curls blowing in the wind. The tree line of the wild wood stood at our backs, the cliffs of the northern fjords roughly fifteen paces ahead. I refused to step any closer than where we were now, my body trembling even thinking of the drop to the sea far,farbelow.
We had been searching for nearly three hours now for any sign of life. Smoke from a fire, a little cabin that an old woman may reside within, footprints in the packed snow. Yet there wasnothing.
Another dead end, another waste of our time.
We were going to fail miserably and Kairen’s tyrant brother was surely going to take the throne at this rate.
The Prince raked his hands through his dark hair, golden eyes burning with the frustration that I knew was clawing away at him. “Just let me think for a minute, will you?”
Rena scoffed. “You have been leading us around on this Goddess-damned quest withnothingto show for it, Kai. Where are wesupposed to go after this? How do you expect us to make a cure when we have absolutely nothing!”
Her voice rose to a shrill cry, her hands flying in the air and hesnapped.Flames lit across his clenched fists, his head turning to the sea as he let out yell, fire flaming from his mouth like the great winged beasts of fairytales and fantasy.
On instinct I stumbled, my back hitting something hard. Hands turned me, pressing my face to a wall of solid muscle. “Kairen,enough.”Roan bit out.
Kairen turned, his body steaming in the frigid air and it was as if…the anger just melted from him. His shoulders sagged, his face falling and then he was turning, walking away.
“Give him some time to cool off,” Roan spoke softly to Rena. “We’re all frustrated, but I don't think it’s just this quest. These woods, it’s doing something to us, messing with our emotions. We all just need a break, okay?”
So we set to make camp, though the sun was nowhere near setting. A bit of extra rest would do us all some good.
