And Bran saw that.
He always had.
So we went on like that for another hour, exchanging parries and blows, all instruction forgotten. A brawl is what I wanted, what Icraved, so Bran gave me just that. The crack of fist on flesh, only pulled slightly at the last second to lessen the damage. Bruises could easily be mended, but broken bones would require a Master Healer.
I relished in the pain, in the fight to win. All my worries slipped from my mind as I focused solely upon my opponent. Not even a hint of my shadows hissing beneath my skin—a peaceful, silent,nothing.
It was when we both lay in the frosted grass, the birds beginning to sing among the trees, bodies worn and bruised, that I turned to look at the boy who had always been there for me.
“Will I see you while we’re there?” The question was quiet, as my fingers played with the leaves that littered the forest floor. His hand reached up to rub where a bruise was already beginning to form on his jaw.
“During the trials?” At my nod, his brows bunched incredulously. “Is that what you’re worried about?”
Heaving a sigh, my eyes went back to the sky, to the swirls of blue, orange, and yellow creating a canvas above us. “One of the things,” I admitted. Gnawing at my lip, I carefully thought of how to word what I wanted to say. Bran’s loyalty had never once wavered, so where did this insecurity stem from? Why did I think that as soon as I stepped foot within the palace grounds I’d be thrown to the wolves? “I’ve known you nearly my entire life, Bran. You’ve been my best friend, you’vealwaysbeen there, but this is going to be so new. I know Bran the boy, not the warrior. I don’t know the man who eats, sleeps, and breathes battle training. I don’t know those you surround yourself with,” I hesitated once more, turning to find his gaze already focused upon me. “I’m differentfrom the people there. What if they notice? Or what if they catch on to the secrets that I keep hidden and you’re caught in the fray?Or Merle is? I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to the two of you because of whatIam.”
Silence followed my admission, my throat tightening as if the air around us grew thicker, harder to take in. Because that’s truly what frightened me so much, wasn’t it? It wasn’t passing my trials or fearing that Bran wouldn’t be by my side, because of course he would.
And that was precisely the issue. I was walking into a lion's den. I couldn’t hide and blend into the streets of Amori City, I couldn’t simply rely upon Merle every time I got tongue-tied with questions of my past. I would be scrutinized, and I feared that if just one person looked too closely, all of the secrets I tried so hard to conceal would unravel, and the people I loved would bear the consequences.
Let them see, little shadow.
Let them see.
Show them who you are, the ruin and devastation you will wrought upon them.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt as the shadows surged, latching onto my anxiety and fear, feeding it. Fueling it. I pushed back desperately, my fingers digging into the ground beneath me, pain lancing through me as my nails cracked into the frozen dirt.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sy,” Bran soothed, his large hand closing around mine, my eyes opening at the touch. My hands slackened as the shadows retreated. “You’ll be careful as you always have been and I’ll be there to help, like I always am. Nobody is ever going to find out. We’ll get through this together, okay?”
I squeezed back, “Okay.”
Merle was waiting for us when we returned, two bowls of steaming spiced oats and two identical vials of a potion beside them. She knew our battered bodies would need it, as we always did when we trained. I was very familiar with the faded jade potion, knowing the citrusy flavor that would coat my tongue and burn down my throat. Yet I drank it gratefully, instantly feeling the ache of my forming bruises lessen. The wounds would still be tender to the touch, but my skin wouldn’t show the marks. If I truly wished to be healed of the pain, I would need to pay a visit to a Master Healer, but I never did.
Bran sat across from me, after placing a kiss upon Merle’s cheek in greeting, throwing back his own potion before digging into the food before him. I practically let out a moan as the taste of cinnamon and honey coated my tongue, trying to detect the other flavors layered within the oats.
“Goddess, Merle, this isdivine.”I praised, shoveling another spoonful into my mouth.
Merle's laugh was bright as wrinkles formed around her eyes. “I’m glad you two still enjoy my home cooked meals.”
“Way better than what the cooks at the barracks serve,” he said around a mouthful of oats, my face twisting with disgust.
“Maybe try swallowing the food before you choke,” I snipped, nearly gagging when he opened his mouth wide in reply, giving me a full view of the contents inside.
Disgusting.
“You two bicker like you’re blood,” Merle muttered before I could toss my spoon at his head, but her smile lingered as she watched us fondly. “Also, I was meaning to ask, I found this while I was cleaning in the shop downstairs. Did someone inquiring about The Fever happen to stop by while I was out yesterday?”
My eyes settled upon the paper she slid across the table to me, face flushing as Bran snatched it up.
It was the note that had been left.
Scratching the back of my neck, I murmured, “I was actually going to speak with you both about it today,” before detailing the story of the two men. I explained the unease that slithered through me at their presence, and how it seemed like they were far more interested in snoopingthan shopping.
When I finished, I turned to Bran and asked, “do you know of a man named Kai in the barracks?”
He leaned back in his chair thoughtfully as he pondered for a moment before shaking his head slightly. “The name doesn’t sound familiar, but there are a ton of recruits and soldiers who live in the barracks. Perhaps I just haven’t crossed paths with him. If he’s already gotten his tattoos and he isn’t an instructor, I doubt I’ve come into contact with him.”
Humming thoughtfully, my finger tapped upon the wooden table as those golden eyes invaded my mind.
