“So,” Dustin said. “You went through the wall?”
“I did.” Greg's voice was hoarse.
“Is that a reaper thing or a you thing?”
A pause. “A me thing.”
“Does that happen a lot?”
“It shouldn't.” Greg was still studying his hands, flexing his fingers like he was testing them. “We can phase through solid matter intentionally. It's a standard ability. But I didn't—” He curled his fingers into his palms. “I didn't choose to do that.”
“So you just... what? Came loose?”
“I lost cohesion.” Greg said quietly. “I felt too much at once and I forgot how to hold myself together.”
That was… wow.
Dustin didn't know what to do with that. He was used to being a good time, a warm body, a distraction—not this. He'd never shaken another being apart at a molecular level just by pressing his mouth to theirs.
“I'm sorry,” Dustin said, and surprised himself by meaning it. “I shouldn't have kissed you like that.”
Greg shook his head. “Don't apologize. I enjoyed it. But…” He pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them. “I should have listened to the warnings. Morrith told me that attachments in this line of work don't end well and I didn't listen and now…” He gestured at himself, at the wall, at the empty parking lot. “Look at me. I'm sitting on the ground behind a motel because a human kissed me and I forgot how to bematter.”
Something about the way hesaid that stung.
“That's what I am to you?” Dustin kept his voice light. “A human?”
“Isn't that what you are?” Greg looked at him then, and his expression was raw in a way that made Dustin's stomach lurch. “It's what you are and what I'mnot, and that's why…”
He stopped. Pressed his palms against his eyes under his glasses.
“This can't happen,” he said.
“What can't happen?” Dustin asked, even though he knew.
“This. Us. Whatever—” Greg dropped his hands. His eyes were bright and slightly wild. “I lostcohesion, Dustin. I wasn't made for this. This is so far beyond my purpose.”
“And your purpose is all you can be?”
“Yes.”
The parking lot was very quiet while Dustin grappled with that, while they both did.
Dustin had been rejected before. It wasn't a new feeling, but it had never clawed quite this deep before.
Why was that?
Why couldn't Dustin just get up and tell Greg that it was his loss if he wanted to miss out on all that Dustin could offer?
Walk away with a self-assured smile.
Maybe it was because Greg looked so miserable and Dustin found he wanted to put a smile onhisface rather than his own.
But he didn't know how.
Greg stared straight ahead. “I wish I were mortal,” he whispered.
“You can't mean that,” Dustin said almost reflexively.
