It probably wasn't about the show at all, was it? Dustin had never been good at reading other people's feelings, but even he could tell there was something else bothering Greg.
It had to have something to do with last night.
Dustin exhaled softly. Even the memory of that night made him shudder.I have more to lose, he'd said, and meant it.
One of those things was the reaper in his lap. The one who'd tried to end his life and then turned around and sold his soul so Dustin wouldn't have to.
The one who'd felt warm and safe inside his arms when he'd gone to sleep.
Dustin wanted him in a way he hadn't let himself want anything in a long time. But how could he keep him?
He didn't know.
And in the light of morning, that thought seemed even more unsettling than it had in the graveyard.
Having something to lose was just as terrifying as itwas wonderful, but now that the feeling had settled in Dustin's chest, he couldn't will it away again.
More than that, he didn't want to.
He squeezed Greg's ankle. “Talk to me.”
“I am talking to you. We're discussing renovations.”
“You've been acting weird all morning. I want to know what's up with that.”
Greg tensed.
Dustin pressed on. “Is this about what happened to your soul? Are you—” Dustin stopped himself. He'd almost saiddying. He rerouted. “Are you okay? Physically?”
“I'm fine. Physically I'm fine.”
“Then what?”
“I can't tell you.”
Dustin's jaw tightened. “What do you mean, you can't tell me? Aren't we in this together?”
“I'm not — it's not that I don't want to?—”
“Then just say it.”
“I can't.”
“Why?”
“Because telling you would make it worse.” Greg's face was pale. He looked like something inside him was tearing. “Dustin, please. I need you to trust me.”
Dustin stared at him.
“I know that's a lot to ask right now,” Greg said, quieter. “After last night. I know you're upset. But there's something I need to handle and I need you to let me handle it. I promise I'm not doing this to hurt you.”
Instead of saying anything, Dustin wrapped his arms around Greg and pulled him against his chest, tucked under his chin. Greg made another oneof those small, startled sounds and then his hand found Dustin's shirt and gripped the fabric.
Dustin held him there and pressed his mouth against Greg's hair.
He could feel Greg's heartbeat. Too fast. Way too fast.
“If you're about to do something stupid,” Dustin said into his hair, “I will kill you.”
