She wipes her hand on her sweatpants and slides her dainty hand into mine, smooth skin sliding over my roughened palm. With a stern shake of our hands most men I’ve met over the years wouldn’t provide, her lips curve and she replies, “Madison Fowler, but I go by Maddie or Mads. Twatface, asshole, or dickhead if my friends are around.”
Caiden laughs, and I can’t help breaking into a smile. “Good to know.”
Reluctantly, I release her hand, Caid quick to replace mine with his own, wearing a cheeky grin and a brightness that would rival the goddamn sun. “Caiden Miller, but you can call me whatever you want.”
The fucker winks over at her while he pulls her hand to his mouth, and the laugh Madison releases sucker punches my chest with all the power of the damn Hulk. The reddening stain in her cheeks hits that much harder, but I can’t help but watch with rapt attention as she shoves Caiden’s face away just as he kisses her knuckles with a laugh.
“I think I just became lactose intolerant, because that was hella cheesy,” she jokes, holding her hand out to Rayne with a smile still in place. “I know we already met, but hell, I’m taking my first impression back and replacing it with one that doesn’t make me look like an escaped asylum patient.”
Rayne looks at her hand like it’s a snake ready to bite him before rolling his eyes at himself and taking her tiny hand in his large paw. His voice is raspy and deep when he says, “Wouldn’tconsider you psychotic just yet, but it was one hell of a way to make someone remember you.”
Snorting, she shakes Rayne’s hand and politely offers, “Nice to meet you, regardless.”
With a nod, Rayne offers a small smile before releasing her hand and wrapping his arms over his chest, plate already empty. When the fuck did he eat all of his breakfast?
Shaking my head, I tuck into my own while keeping track of the conversation, watching Madison’s movements with rapt attention. Because that’s not weird or anything.
Holding her hand out to Baxter, who sits closer to her than Rayne or I, she grins. “And you, pancake maker?”
Bax wipes his mouth with his left hand while releasing the fork in his right, offering it to Madison and saying, “Baxter Marshall, ma’am.”
“Manners and pancakes. Nice,” she observes, shaking Baxter’s hand with confidence before letting go. Pointing at the pancakes, she admits, “These are crazy good, by the way. Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome,” Bax offers, a blush forming on his face. He’s never been one to accept a compliment very well, but it doesn’t make it any less funny to see the large tatted man blushing after a tiny woman compliments his cooking.
Madison flashes him another smile before stuffing her mouth just as she says, “Well, I guess I’m done stalling. Suppose I should explain myself.”
“We’re all ears, Blue,” Caiden snickers, dropping his fork on his empty plate while he gives Madison his undivided attention. We all follow suit, our plates now empty and our bellies full, looking at Madison expectantly.
With a dramatic sigh and a sad shake of her head, Madison leans away from the island and rests against the back of her seat, taking her plate with her. She looks us all over, cheeksalready heating as she says, “Fine. Fuck it. You’ve already seen me at my worst. I’ll preface this by saying it’s all my best friends’ fault and they’re assholes who deserve to be punished after the hell my vagina has been through.”
We all answer with snickers and snorts, but we don’t interrupt otherwise. Instead, we sit back and listen to Madison as she explains in great detail what the hell happened to her this morning.
Chapter Five
Maddie
I hate my life.
Well, usually I don’t. I actually really love it. But now, after explaining what a disaster my morning has been and suffering through four fully grown males laughing like little girls at my expense? Yeah, I hate my life pretty hard right about now.
Sitting back on my stool, arms crossed over my chest, I wait it out. My lips keep twitching because their laughter is stupidly infectious, but I’m wondering if the ground has opened up, swallowed me whole, and spat me out in the eighth circle of fucking hell. It takes longer than I would have liked, their wheezes and guffaws filling the space around me with no small amount of mockery. This is what my life has become in such a short amount of time. What did I ever do to deserve this? How much of an asshole was I in a past life for the universe to give me a big “fuck you” in the form of four gorgeous male specimens laughing at what I am now dubbing Lubegate? I wonder if it’s possible to recreate the flashy thing fromMen in Blackthat will erase their memories of this whole ordeal. Unlikely, but a girl can hope while she suffers their hysterical laughter that’s only now finally tapering off.
“It’s not that funny,” I grumble, though it really would be hilarious if it happened to anyone but me.
“It is. It really is,” Caiden wheezes, wiping at his face for the third time to rid himself of the tears that started pouring ten minutes into my explanation. The only one of the four who hasn’t been cackling like an asshole at my expense is Rayne, though I’m sure there is a big fuck-off smile hiding behind thehands he’s steepled in front of his mouth. His eyes are laughing enough for the rest of him, though, so he’s no less of an asshole.
Rolling my eyes at them all, I start stacking the plates while their laughter dies down, only for Caiden to mention the ice glide and fridge collision again and set them all off once more. I’m already washing the dishes by the time they’ve calmed down for the fourth time, their bellowing dying off until they’re only chuckling every now and then.
I’m muttering about the injustices of my life when a large body sidles up beside me, Baxter’s hand reaching for the plate in my hand with a dish towel in his other. Looking up at him with a raised eyebrow, I find humor-filled eyes looking down at me, his plump bottom lip tucked between straight white teeth like he’s trying to keep his chuckles to himself.
“I appreciate the effort you’re making, but you might as well get it all out of your system now, because when you guys leave, we’re never speaking about Lubegate again. So go on, laugh until you can’t breathe. Again,” I tell him, handing over the plate just as he starts cracking up again.
“You’ve got to admit that has to be the greatest first impression that’s ever been made in history,” Caiden comments from the island, his laughter making my lip twitch again. Damn him.
“You won’t forget it anytime soon, that’s for sure,” I grouch under my breath, handing over another plate for Baxter to dry and stack with the others in front of him.
“To be fair, it could have—” Caiden starts before shutting his mouth with a snap when I glare at him from under my hat.
