On the third monitor, there are comment threads I know aren’t doing anything to help the situation, and one look atMaddie’s face tells me she’s more tired than she’s letting on. Not broken, just a little worn around the edges. Like she desperately needs a vacation. Thankfully, a vacation that is just around the corner.
The takeout smell reaches her before she notices I’m even standing in the doorway, and her head slowly swings toward me. As soon as I’m blessed with that beautiful pale-eyed gaze, Maddie’s face softens and a beautiful smile appears on her face.
“Hey, handsome. When did you get back?” she asks, awkwardly righting herself in her chair. My shirt slips on her body, revealing far more skin than she probably intended, and I catch a peek of her braless chest before she shrugs the shirt back into position.
Refusing to be distracted by her delectable body, I head over to her and tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before I answer, “Just a few minutes ago. Don’t suppose you plan on dining on actual sustenance today rather than the caffeine I’m pretty sure you’re half-made of?”
She points lazily to a smoothie cup Caiden bought her recently, a matching one to his, and tells me, “Protein.”
“That’s not food,” I argue gently, eyeing the cup with an intense desire to throw it out of the window much like Maddie did with the hellish lube that, and I quote, almost decimated her goodies.
Maddie frowns, looking at the cup with confusion. “What do you mean? It had peanut butter in it. That’s food, is it not?”
“No. That’s not food,” I deadpan, and Maddie grins faintly right before she looks back toward the monitor screens. The smile slips almost immediately, and I hate it. I hate it just as much as I hate the way her shoulders tense at any mention of Toby Moore. I hate it as much as I hate that she’s currentlytorturing herself by delving deep into every news article and message board she can find.
Tucking my hand into the same pocket where the envelope lies, I instantly start debating whether or not to set the thing on fire, for no other reason than allowing Maddie to find some shred of peace since Toby went berserk. Something she hasn’t found much of in the past two weeks. Between the nightmares that have struck her and her unwillingness to leave the apartment after dark, the only time Maddie seems out of her head at all is when she’s at work, or when the guys and I distract her in some shape or form. I’m happy to distract her whenever she needs distracting, and I’d never complain, but when she isn’t crying out with orgasms, moaning around our cocks, or screaming as she rides us, then she’s as silent as the dead as she loses herself to her thoughts and memories.
And now I’m carrying around yet another grenade Toby wishes to throw at her.
Jaw clenching as I decide not to hand it over for her own peace of mind, Maddie turns just as I remove my hand from my pocket and notices the movement instantly.
“What’s that poking out of your pocket?” she wonders lightly, simply curious.
It’s that curiosity that will be the end of her, I’m sure of it.
There’s no real good answer to give her, and lying seems like the worst option imaginable, so I simply walk toward her, sliding the envelope carefully onto the desk beside her keyboard.
Maddie’s eyes flick downward, then they narrow slightly on the text written on the front of the envelope. “Do I actually want to know what that is?”
Shrugging, I tell her, “That’s entirely up to you, trouble. I think we both know where it came from, though.”
“Of course I do. I’d recognize his writing anywhere after he fucked my car up,” she grumbles, reaching for the envelope and turning it around to check the opening.
She hesitates for a moment, and I tell her quietly, “You don’t have to open it, you know? I’m more than happy to set it on fire, bury the ashes, and let a passerby’s dog piss on it.”
A shocked burst of laughter breaks out of her, and my shoulders instantly relax at the sound, the beauty of it setting me at ease. That’s more like my Maddie. Vibrant and full of life, quick to laugh, and easily the most incredible woman I know.
She takes a deep breath before finally opening the envelope, sliding out a small piece of paper that looks like it contains a handwritten letter. She leans back in her chair before she starts reading over the words, and I stay exactly where I am. Not because I’m nosy, but because there isn’t a single universe that exists where I would leave her alone with something like this. It takes everything within me these days to leave the apartment when I know she’s here alone.
Tucking my hands into my pockets, I watch every expression that rolls over her face as her eyes move across the page. I see confusion, sadness, and then something softer. Pity, I think. Somehow, that feels worse, because that bastard certainly doesn’t deserve an ounce of Maddie’s pity.
After a minute, Maddie sighs, pushing herself quietly out of her office chair before she walks toward the wall of windows that overlook the city much like the ones in the living room.
Frowning, I pick up the letter instinctively and read over it only once. It’s exactly as I expected, and I could kick myself with regret for not having shredded it before Maddie caught wind of it.
With a heapload of regret and excuses, I scoff as I read over lines such as “I lost myself,” or “I still love you,” and the ridiculous, “you made me want to be better.” They’re all justwords. There isn’t an ounce of accountability, and the obsession he harbors for Maddie is very clear in every line he’s written. But the worst one yet is the last line he’s scrawled at the end.
I hope you can one day remember me with the good memories we shared.
It’ll be a cold day in hell when that happens. I, along with the others, plan on ensuring Maddie doesn’t hold on to a single memory left behind from her time with Toby. In fact, we’re going to make it our personal mission.
Teeth clenching tightly enough that I’m sure I’m doing some form of damage my dentist won’t be too pleased about, I scrunch the letter up before popping the lid on Maddie’s smoothie cup and stuffing the letter inside. I even reattach the lid, shaking what’s left of the smoothie inside until the letter is fully submerged. It’s no fire or dog piss, but it’ll do.
When my head finally rises, I find Maddie watching me with her hand covering her mouth, her blue eyes glittering with amusement. The tiredness I saw before is gone, her shoulders are no longer slumped, and I know for certain that my manic little pixie is hiding her smile from me.
“What?” I ask innocently. “Were you not done with that?”
I’m sure I hear a laugh behind that hand, but she coughs to cover it, stealing the music from my ears. That’s okay, I’ll still call myself victorious for lifting her spirits slightly.
