Again, I don’t mind. If he wants to talk to me about it, I will be all ears and more than happy to hear him out. There’s no judgment in wanting to take things slow, even if it means my curiosity niggles at me every day that passes. It’s something I can lock away until he’s ready to divulge more about himself. I’m simply happy knowing he’s mine, receiving his attention and affection, and seeing my apartment filled with small things that belong to him.
That’s enough for me until Rayne is ready for more.
Until then, I’m floating through days filled with laughter, cuddles, takeout containers, and a smorgasbord of manly limbs. It doesn’t take long for my apartment to stop feeling like mine and start feeling more like ours, though I’m convinced that started happening long before we all fell into this relationship. I guess I’ve just started noticing more. Noticing the clutter of shoes near the door and the additional coffee mugs that have found their home in my cabinet. Then there’s Caid’s stupid protein bars that somehow keep appearing in almost every room in the fucking apartment like a nutritional haunting.
To top it all off, I’m tired. Constantly. Deliriously, bone-deep tired. Because apparently dating four men means sleep becomes a myth. No one lets you sleep anymore. After a week, I no longer know what it means to be well rested. Caid will wake me with kisses to my shoulder, needy and romantic as though he’s stepped right out of a movie. Bax will drag me into his lapanytime I pass by him. Ryan keeps touching me absentmindedly whenever he’s near, pressing his hand to the small of my back or brushing his fingers across my hip like he’s making sure I’m still there.
And Rayne? That guy slays me with a look alone. With every glance, he makes me feel like I’m something unbearably precious, like he might break if I disappear. That look is lethal to my heart, mind, and body.
By Friday night, I’m overloaded on affection, deprived of personal space, and running on nothing more than fumes, serotonin, sexual energy, and daily doses of coffee that should come in the form of an injection or drip. I would accept either.
The movie playing on my bedroom TV is nothing more than white noise at this point, because I couldn’t tell you the name, who’s in it, or what it’s about. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s a horror movie of some sort. I think I spied zombies, maybe a train. I can’t be completely sure if it’s even in English. And I’m not alone, because nobody is paying attention.
Rayne is lying with his head resting on my stomach, his dark hair soft between my fingers as I sift through the strands lazily while he scrolls through something on his phone. Baxter is stretched out behind him, his back resting against the headboard of my bed as he allows me to use his arm as a pillow. His hair is loose tonight, dark strands reaching his shoulders in messy waves to alleviate the headache that’s been plaguing him since before he trudged into my apartment.
On my other side, Caiden has taken up residence, sprawled out starfish-style as though he owns half of my bed. At this rate, I’m considering charging rent, because I’ve never known anyone to take over so much of such a large bed in all the years I’ve known Alaskan king-sized beds even exist.
He’s lucky he’s both adorable and sexy, otherwise I’d have kicked him over the edge long before tonight. Instead, I’velounged among three out of four of my guys, my brain switching off long enough that the room falls quiet.
That is, before I blurt, “I booked my vacation time from work, by the way.”
My voice is apparently so startling that I feel Rayne flinch before he relaxes again, Bax jerks as though I’ve woken him, and Caid turns his head toward me with a pinched brow.
“Yeah?” he says, green eyes filled with an instant curiosity that warms my insides.
“Mhm,” I reply, pursing my lips. “I have no idea what to do with it, though. Two weeks of freedom, and not a single clue what I’m meant to do with my time.”
“Pretty sure Ry mentioned him suggesting you go traveling for those two weeks, right?” Bax queries sleepily. Oh, my bad. I guess he was asleep.
Lowering my voice slightly, I nod and mutter, “Yeah, I just don’t know where I’d like to go.”
“Anything on the bucket list you want to cross off?” Rayne wonders lowly, his voice vibrating through my stomach.
I sigh. “Ask Caid. That weirdo has been asking me every travel question under the sun. I’m pretty sure he’s auditioning to become a travel agent or something.”
The man in question snorts, but he doesn’t bother elaborating or chiming in. When I look over, I realize I’ve already lost him. He’s wielding his phone like a weapon, thumbs already whizzing over the screen, and I know then that he won’t be showing off his mighty knowledge on my travel plans of the past and future. Alrighty then.
“What kind of place calls to you?” Bax wonders softly, the deep rumble of his voice thick with sleep. It makes me shiver, and Rayne huffs the tiniest laugh that he covers with a pathetic little cough.
Rolling my eyes as I continue to play with his glossy hair, I ponder Baxter’s question for a long moment before finally admitting, “Somewhere sunny would be nice. Not necessarily hot, even though that would be a beautiful bonus, but just somewhere where the sun likes to shine.”
“You say that like it’s not sunny here almost every day,” Caiden snorts, finally chiming in.
I turn to glare at him, kicking him weakly with my foot, before I grumble, “I’m serious. That’s my bucket list, to go somewhere sunny, and pretty, and rich with culture. Somewhere I can have a field day with my camera, where I can eat plenty of good food and just act like a tourist the entire time.”
Baxter hums adorably, already falling back to sleep despite his efforts to remain awake so he can listen, while Rayne pauses his doomscrolling as I speak. He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s paying attention, listening closely.
Caiden has grown suspiciously quiet beside me, but when I look over at him, he has a concentrated look on his face as he aggressively stabs at his cell with all the intensity of a man defusing a bomb. The vague worry that he’s committing cyber warfare crosses my mind briefly, his thumbs moving with the same level of urgency you’d find in a man trying to stop a missile launch. I’d consider it impressive if it wasn’t so worrying.
Before I can actually ask the guy if what’s happening on his phone is a matter of national importance, eyeing his tongue poked slightly against his cheek while he types, Rayne quietly asks, “What else, mayhem?”
I turn away from Caiden, eyeing him like he’s one push of his thumb away from causing a worldwide catastrophe, and ponder the question for a moment before I finally confess, “I think I’d like somewhere walkable, where I can carry my camera around for hours and still find new things to capture. Pretty cafés, good food, colorful streets. Somewhere with old buildingswould be cool, someplace filled with interesting history. Maybe somewhere filled with neon lights that only show at night. Honestly? I just wanna go somewhere exciting and cute where I can live out my romantic little fantasies and enjoy myself.”
Only the sound of sprinting zombies follows, the movie still playing in the background, and I wonder if maybe I word-vomited a little too much when all three of the guys fall silent. Well, actually, I’m pretty sure Bax has fallen asleep if the little snore I just heard behind me is anything to consider.
Caiden is still typing away on his cell, eyebrow pinched in concentration, and that worry that he’s plotting the downfall of a country reemerges. I mean, it’s relentless, but before I can voice my concerns, the bedroom door opens and in comes our missing piece.
Ry walks in wearing his usual slacks and a loose T-shirt, his hair only a little disheveled as though he’s received a noogie from someone near and dear. I only know because I’m a professional noogier. Ask my cousin and the bald spot I almost gave him last year and he’ll tell you I’m a noogie menace. I know a good noogie when I see one.
