My stomach dropped through the floor. “Ancients, Lukas. I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He frowned. “I’m just relieved she chose to stay with the faeries after my fatherdied. I hope she finds more peace there than she did at the Steel Palace. It seemed like she and Amabel were good friends.”
Sadness tugged at my lips. He still cared, even now. “And visiting the merfolk made you think of her?” I thought out loud.
He huffed out another strained laugh, shaking his head. “I think deep down, a part of me always knew she was merfolk. And I knew I’d somehow inherited that too, or at least that I wasn’t fully human. But for some reason, I kept thinking the more human I convinced myself I was, the more she might want to accept me.” His eyes flared. “Not that convincing myself ever changed the way she looked at me.”
I stroked my fingers along the back of his hand. “You know you don’t have to hide yourself anymore.”
Pulling his arm away, he scowled. “When I saw thatwoman, Queen Vearla, talking to her daughter in that way – the one with the orange hair, Olesha.” He swallowed. “It was like I couldn’t breathe. She was so… kind. Even her, a woman evil enough to trap unwilling men in her palace, she still had so much love for her child. It made me wonder what it was that I did as a boy to earn my mother’s hatred.”
“You did nothing.” I drew closer to him. “Do not blame any of Erissa’s cruel actions on yourself. You were a child.”
Frowning, he shook his head. But before I could say anymore, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. “This is all in the past anyway. My past,” he said plainly. “There are far more pressing matters for us to worry ourselves with now, like these.” His attention shifted to the bruises on my face as his fingers cupped my jaw. “Now, will you please tell me how to apply this paste?” A faint smile pulled at his lips.
I wanted to ask him more questions. He’d never opened up like this before, and I wasn’t sure when he’d do it again. But the pain on my face was almost unbearable, and if I wasn’t treated soon, I’d still be puffy by the time we left for Drothmore. So, with a slow nod, I guided him through the application.
After he worked in the paste and successfully managed to grind up the right leaves to mix in with my tea to help with the pain – albeit a little clumsily – Lukas slipped into bed beside me while I rested. My eyes were closed, but I couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts raced through my exhausted mind.
“I’m going to find a way to fix all this,” he promised quietly.
My eyelashes fluttered open as I peeked at him through the bedsheets. “What do you mean?”
He looked startled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” I laughed, but it came out as more of a croak. “I probably won’t sleep anyway.” Too many thoughts. Too much pain.
Lukas winced, sighing into the bedsheets. “I was talking about Arenn,” he growled. “I’m going to sever your connection to that faery prince somehow. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. I don’t care if it kills me.” My heart seized. “I’m going to rid you of that foul creature. I promise.”
“Please don’t say that,” I whispered, gripping my blanket.
Lukas’s face twisted. “You don’t want him gone?”
“No, no, I do. There’s nothing I want more in the world than to have my wrist free of those crystals but—” My throat felt sticky. “I won’t have you risk your life. It’s not fair to you.” Agreeing to marry Arenn was my mistake, and if anyone wasgoing to die to fix it, it should be me. Then again, knowing Arenn, he’d probably follow me into the afterlife.
“I spent all day and last night in the library,” Lukas continued, settling back into the pillows. “I couldn’t find any mention of breaking the bond, only what it’s doing to you.” His jaw tensed. “I can’t bear the thought of him toying with your mind, your emotions. Do you really feel his presence if he’s nearby?”
I nodded, and a frustrated growl rumbled through him.
“It’s alright though,” I sighed. “Dealing with Arenn is an annoyance, but nothing more. He’s harmless, really.”
Lukas scowled. “He made me hurt you today. That’s not harmless.”
Wincing, I mumbled, “I suppose so.” Even still, the pain I felt now couldn’t justify Lukas putting himself at risk. Nothing could. And I doubted Arenn would do this again. If I was hurting, so was he.
“How about this,” I offered, pulling the blanket close to my chest. “We’re leaving in a week, aren’t we?”
Lukas nodded. “You’ve a few days to finish any dealings with the other rulers in regards to Corlixir, then there’s the Oceans Ball, and then we leave,” he confirmed, exhaling as if he couldn’t wait to get out of here.
I couldn’t either. Smiling, I wondered if we’d still share a bed when we returned to Drothmore—
Stop.Focus, Naria.
Swallowing down my smile, I replied, “Then give me until the ball to figure out how to break the prince’s curse and fix this mess with Arenn. If I’m still bound to him by the time we leave, then the moment we return home, I will have noobjection to you continuing your research.”
My suggestion was met with a wary look. “But there’s no books on faeries in Drothmore. My father had them all burned.”
I laughed quietly, recalling the hidden magical library I’d stumbled upon months ago while searching for a new suitor – technically, the place that started this all. “Both Raena and I would tell you otherwise,” I chuckled.
