He nodded, and I sagged against him, so grateful that he’d grasped the full story and understood just as readily that my sexual urges toward others weren’t reactions I wanted either. “Thank you, but I wish I could stop it. I wish I could control my responses better.”
His hand moved soothingly along my back. “It’s not something you can control, so you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
“With you not blaming me anymore, it’ll likely be easier for me to forgive myself.”
“I just hope my understanding holds, and I don’t promptly forget everything once we return home,” he said dryly. “But if I get angry again for how you react to another, I’m sorry.”
My thoughts drifted to what Nicholas had told us and how impossible everything felt. Killing Arnel wouldn’t stop his hold on me, although it would stop future commands. But the commands he’d already placed on me would forever be etched into my soul, which meant that Kole would never fully know me, not indefinitely, if I had to erase his memories once we returned home.
That meant that Kole and I would have to return here to theotherrealm over and over, and I’d have to tell him the same story again and again for him to know what I’d become.
I wished with everything I had that the solution to all of this would have been as easy as killing Arnel. I knew that Kole would have gladly murdered my uncle immediately, but since that wasn’t a complete remedy, I didn’t know what we could do.
But I straightened and forced a beat of positivity into my soul. Perhaps there was an answer somewhere, and we just had to find it. After all, Nicholas did say it was unusual that Arnel’s control didn’t follow me into their realm. So it was possible, given my full-blooded fae lineage, or because of the fact that Arnel had made me into a vampire with a potion versus avampire’s bite, that I wasn’texactlylike other vampires. The way I’d been turned was entirely unique, so there was still hope.
I held firmly onto that reminder.
“You should feed,” Kole said quietly to me.
That statement snapped my attention completely away from my problems. “What?”
“You told Nicholas you’ve only fed once. You need to feed again. You can’t go indefinitely without blood.”
He said it so casually, so matter-of-fact, but I still grimaced. “I know, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I never want to do to another what I did to that young female at my uncle’s.” Even though her blood had called to me, I still shuddered thinking about it. She’d been terrified of me before my compulsion had taken ahold of her.
Kole shifted closer to me, then asked quietly, “What if you feed from me? I would be willing.”
My insides immediately tightened, and the sound of his heartbeat filled my ears. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. “You don’t want that. Not truly. My fangs would slice right into you.”
“If you’re going to feed from anyone, I want it to be me. Always me, Primelle. No one else. I don’t want to share you.” His possessive nature again reared, and my thighs clenched at the thought of feeding from him.
His nostrils flared. “I’ve been told they have private chambers within this library. That guests often stay here for days at a time. And Nicholas is a vampire. He’ll understand your need to feed, especially given how you’ve denied yourself so far. Perhaps we could ask to borrow one of their chambers before we return home? We still have a little time.”
My lips parted, and venom instantly flooded my mouth. My jaw ached, positivelyachedat what he was offering. Inadvertently, my fangs began to lengthen, and since my uncle’smagic didn’t control me here, my body didn’t automatically hide them.
And in that moment, I knew there was a solution to my uncle’s horrific commands. I could stay here, in theotherrealm, far away from him and his control. But I would have to stay here indefinitely. I could never return home.
My heart broke at that thought, but just as fast, I reminded myself that we still hadn’t searched the libraries fully. There was still hope, so my attention returned to what Kole was offering.
Tentatively, I glanced upward at Kole, my stomach tightening at what he would think once he got a good look at me. Fangs hung from my gums, visible between my lips. They were fully extended, long, and deadly.
But even though shame sliced through me at the horror I would likely see written plain as day upon his face, I was shocked to discover that nothing but compassion coated his features.
He didn’t look disgusted. He didn’t even look away. He just cupped my cheek and held eye contact, then said, “I love you.Always. No matter what you are.”
Tears flooded my eyes anew, and my love for him felt as though it would burst from my chest.
“You understand, Princess? I love you. Forever.”
I was so choked up that I couldn’t speak, but I managed a nod.
He leaned down, and heat smoldered in his gaze. “I was also told that vampires love to feed while they’re fucking,” he whispered into my ear. “Perhaps we could give that a try again, in which I’m not punishing you, and it’s not done in anger? Would you like that, Princess?”
His words rolled through me, and it took everything in me not to climb him like a tree right there.
Abruptly, Nicholas returned in a flash of vampire speed, which made it look like he materialized out of thin air. I turnedaway, embarrassed at the state of my fangs and the absolutewantpounding through me, but when Kole made his request to Nicholas of finding a private room so I could feed a second time, the vampire didn’t even blink.
“Of course, follow me. We have several chambers currently ready for new guests. You may have your pick.”
