All I could do was nod. I kept thinking about Kole’s expression right before I’d banished him to the hall.
The lady’s attendant sauntered over to the wardrobe and began rummaging through the selections. Her heart beat swiftly, and the sound thudded through my ears. It took everything inme not to cover them, not that it would have done much good. I had a feeling I still would have heard her whooshing blood even if I wore earmuffs.
“What about this one?” Betsee pulled a short-sleeved gown in light pink out of the wardrobe and held it up.
“Um, could you choose a long-sleeved one instead?”
Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh, of course, but Warrior Swordwielder told me that you’d be venturing to the Isle of Song today. He said something about a dillemsill that arrived not too long ago and to let you know that the gargoyle there has found something.”
I perked up, my eyes widening. “A dillemsill arrived from Master Fistideeous?”
She nodded. “Indeed, and since it’s a bit warmer on the Isle of Song, I thought you may prefer a short-sleeve gown?”
I shook my head. “No, long-sleeve is fine. Thank you, though.”
She shrugged and returned her attention to the selections, then pulled out a long dark-blue gown. It was satin, full-body length, and would cover me all the way to my throat.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s perfect.”
Once dressedand entirely certain that my true appearance and vampiric stench were hidden, I invited Kole back into my room.
“Betsee said a dillemsill arrived to let us know Master Fistideeous has found something?”
In my wing’s sitting chambers, Kole looked me up and down, his expression giving away nothing. He finally nodded. “It did.”
I wrung my hands together. The events of last night and then our conversation near midnight—that I didn’t know if Kolerecalled or not—rattled around in my head. Perhaps that was why he was so closed off this morning.
I offered him a pensive smile. “About last night?—”
“Prim, I?—”
I held up my hand. “No, let me talk. Last night was a product of me acting atrociously, and it’snotokay what I did at the Ryderdim House. The way I acted around Nathaniel...none of it was okay.”
His mask dropped entirely. Pain and anger rippled across his expression. “You’re not the only one who acted horribly last night. I did too.”
I laughed humorlessly. “You acted as any mated fae male would in your position.”
He scoffed, then tore a hand through his hair. “That’s hardly an excuse. I fucked you hard, Prim, and it wasn’t out of love.”
“I know.”
His eyes blazed. “That’s despicable of me.”
“Perhaps, but I don’t blame you.” I shook my head, wanting so badly to explain everything to him and wishing that I could.
He stepped closer to me and cupped my cheeks. “I love you. Love you more than this realm, the stars, my life. Did you know that?”
My lips parted, and I covered his hands with my palms, momentarily forgetting about my cool skin.
Before I could respond, Kole added in a quietly tortured tone, “I’ll always love you. No matter what.”
“I’ll always love you too,” I choked.
But his expression stayed severe. His smile never bloomed.
He released me and stepped back, and I didn’t know how to interpret what he just said. Last night, he’d promised to never give up on me, but just now, it almost sounded like he was telling me that he would always love me, even if he wasn’twithme.
My insides tightened, but I was too afraid to ask anything further. Too afraid that he might say that he changed his mind and that if I ever betrayed him again, by blatantly lusting after another male, right in front of him nonetheless, we were done.
