“And the gods know sooner or later, I may do something to fully betray him,” I whispered to the night.
My chest hurt again, even more, at the devastation Kole would inevitably feel knowing that I’d been with another, even if it was something driven by the monster I’d turned into and wasn’t something I innately wanted. But it would inevitably happen, and that fact hit me like a thunderclap.
Tears spilled onto my cheeks because I could see no way out of this. Even if Kole and I figured out how to deal with the Council’s restrictions on him, even if we managed to convince my parents to let us stay together, even if we were actually allowed to be together, it didn’t mean that he and I would have a happy ending. How could we when I would ultimately betray him?
No, don’t think that. There has to be a way. There’salwaysa way.
Some of my inherent optimism sparked inside me, and I latched onto it. Still looking upward, I blinked rapidly at the moons shining brightly in the sky and prayed to all of the gods and goddesses that I could find a way out of this.
Because if my uncle’s plans were allowed to continue...
I glanced down at my chest, at my dead heart. If our realm’s destruction, or his personal advancements, or potentially overthrowing my father’s hold on the throne were what my uncle had in store for me, then I would do whatever was necessary to stop my deadly essence.
Iwouldn’tallow myself to destroy and hurt everything and everyone that I loved.
CHAPTER FIVE
Morning sunlight streamed into my uncle’s entryway. Royden waited just behind me. The Imperial Warrior stood tall, but his eyes were vacant, his mind turned off. My uncle had commanded me to mold him into a catatonic puppet until we returned to Whiteolf. Only then would my magic release him from my control.
Arnel looked me up and down and circled me twice, then nodded his approval. “You’ve hidden your new nature well.”
Stiffly, I didn’t move, but he was right. Of course he was. He’d commanded me to make sure my deathly complexion was hidden, so my glamour held strong.
My dress had also been cleaned, no droplets of the female’s blood remained on it, and my skin appeared as it always did, but I would have to be careful about touching others. I couldn’t hide the coolness of my flesh or the fact that my heart no longer beat. And according to my uncle, my inherent scent had changed. The subtle vampiric smell of decay now clung to me, something he’d said all vampires had. I couldn’t detect it. And even though my uncle had given me another one of his potions to hide my new scent, just knowing that I was dead and my body reflected that made revulsion sweep through me.
But with his potion, Arnel said to those around me, I would smell as I always had, but only if I used his potion daily—another command he’d placed on me.
“How was your first night on your own?” my uncle asked pleasantly, as though making small talk after abusing me egregiously was perfectly normal.
“I didn’t sleep, so it was long.”
“You didn’t?” He laughed softly. “You’ll need to relearn how to sleep if you don’t want to remain awake indefinitely, but you may have to practice, as you won’t feel tired.” He arched an eyebrow. “Now, you remember what you’re to tell everyone after you return to Whiteolf?”
I stared at the male who looked so much like my father. The only difference between them was Arnel’s mustache. But instead of the kindness I always saw in my father’s eyes, all I saw was cold calculation in Arnel’s. “Yes, Uncle. I’m to tell them that you showed me a few things in your library, that you’d found a text that spoke of an ancient lineage with a female who had the same magic as me. We learned that my magic indeed came from the stars, likely at the time of the celestial event at my birth, and it comes from a goddess. It’s been passed at whim from generation to generation among fae females, not necessarily staying within the same family, and that I was blessed with her magic, and that’s why I am the way I am.”
“Correct.”
What he’d shown me wasn’t fanciful. He’d actually found a tome in his studies that did say such a thing, however, the actual goddess was never named. Yet the concept that a fairy with strange, rare magic could have been blessed by the gods wasn’t new information. I’d learned over the seasons that some had been given magic kissed by the gods, either by a god or goddess breeding with fae many centuries ago or by the god or goddess passing on part of their magic to a fairy they considered worthy.
I’d always wondered if that was perhaps the origins of my magic, but the celestial event on the night of my birth had always lingered in my thoughts too. Our universe was known for replenishing our realm with new magic during such events, so it was also possible that the event had triggered an explosion of magic inside me. Magic that had always been there but had only been made stronger.
But I would likely never know the true reason for my unique magic. It was all guesses. All hypotheses. None of us could know for certain if our theories were correct.
I glanced out the window, anything not to have to look at my uncle further. Outside, the sun shone, the birds sang, and pastel-colored clouds drifted by. All appeared normal. Serene.
I let my gaze travel over the distant trees, and when the stone temple appeared between the leaves, my attention stopped on it.
My forehead furrowed. “Was that temple created by you to contact the God of Night so you could create your vamfeer and vampire potions?”
Uncle Arnel sighed. “Never mind what’s out there, Primelle.”
My gaze whipped away from the window, my curiosity vanishing upon his command. “Yes, Uncle.”
He sized me up again, not once giving Royden a passing glance. “Now, you’re to be on your way. Remember everything I’ve taught you and told you. And come tomorrow, remember who you’re to pay a visit to. I’ll be in touch with your next assignment after that.”
Dread spiraled through me at what I was to do on the morrow, at what my uncle had commanded. He would undoubtedly force me to do other acts after that too, to more unsuspecting fae, and I was helpless to fight it.
I still had no idea what his endgame was, though, but I had a feeling that in time it would become clear.
