“She has covid?”I had all my shots, but after a few rounds with it early on in the pandemic, no thanks.
He shook his head.“She swears she got tested and it’s just a cold.She was supposed to stay home.”
“But how could she make herself the center of attention if she misses my birthday?”Diego asked sweetly, coming up beside us.“God.You wanna go?”he asked me.
Tom raised his eyebrows.“That’ll be a whole thing.”
“So we all have to get sick because she couldn’t stand not coming?”Diego said.
“That’s usually how it works, with her,” Tom commented.
Kacey was crying now, hugging her mom and saying something wetly.
“Aaaand there’s the waterworks,” Diego said.“Right on schedule.”
“It’s your call,” I said with a little shrug.“If it was my family, it’d be mine, but…”
Annie interrupted with, “Okay, everyone, I’m just gonna set Kacey up on the couch here.You all go ahead into the dining room; table’s set.”
Diego sighed.“Fuck it.”He pulled me away from Kacey as Annie helped her to the couch, leading the way into the living room.
Kelly went straight for the ice bucket on the table, pulled out a bottle of prosecco, and popped it.“We’re gonna need this,” she said under her breath.
Okay, on the one hand, it was really, really sad that one narcissist was holding this whole family captive with her whims.On the other, their sheer lack of fucks to give was genuinely hilarious.“So, par for the course?”I asked quietly.
“No birdie, no bogey,” Tom quipped.
“What?”Diego said.
“Golf,” I clarified.“You play?”
“Hell yeah,” Tom said.“You?”
I shook my head.“Used to with my dad sometimes.Been a while.”
“Val and I play once a month.You should join us sometime.”
“I’m more of a Top Golf guy,” I admitted.“Bucket of balls and a bucket of beers.”
“I could be into that.”Tom fist bumped me.
“God, how did two babes like me and Kelly pull two losers like you?”Diego wondered with a smirk.“Golf?Really?”
“I like sports.”I shrugged and laughed.
“It’s not even a sport.”
“Hey, golfers are athletes,” Tom protested.
“That’s like saying people who play Pokémon are athletes,” Diego said.
Kacey coughed loudly in the living room.“No, Mom, I can’t!I’m fine; I can sit up and talk!”
“She’s not coming in the fucking dining room,” Kelly said under her breath.
“This is straight-up tyranny,” I told Diego.
“You have no idea.”He handed me a glass of prosecco and downed half of his own.
