“He just said that.”She snorted.
“It’s funny, because I remember him telling me it was okay to cry.I mean, if I’d done it on the field, he probably would’ve told me to wait until we got home for that kind of thing, but still.Pretty progressive.”
“He felt everything very deeply.”Her smile grew sad.“It’s hard to know… I wish he was here.”
I nodded, unwilling to admit that, although I did too, there were also times that I knew goddamn well my life was easier right now because he was gone.“Grief fucking sucks,” I said with a sigh.
“It really fucking sucks, yeah.”She gave a surprised little laugh.“I don’t know if you can find peace with him right now.But just know that I support you, and I do not excuse anything he said that hurt you.That still hurts you.”
I nodded, face getting hot.“I know.”
“Well, I might’ve said too much last time, in my haste to defend.And then in my ignorance.”
I smiled.“Maybe.”
“And I regret it.And I’m sorry.”
And here I was, brooding like a damn teenager.“Thanks.I mean it.”
“Me too.So bring Diego over for dinner.ASAP.”
***
Finally, I replied to Jennie:
Sorry for taking so long.Wasn’t sure how to answer and wanted to think it through.I didn’t know how to say, I’m also attracted to men, out of the blue.Instead I just never hid it, which I now understand seemed like me humoring you, not genuine attraction.I tried to find the easy, comfortable way out and it failed.
After a few minutes of the bubbles appearing and disappearing, she replied:
Jennie
It’s not my business, and you don’t owe me anything, I know.My mother said I was crazy for coming at you like that.Aarti disagreed, but that was my red flag.
Her best friend, Aarti, lived for drama.Hers, other peoples’, celebrities’; didn’t matter.That made me chuckle, anyhow.
You’re not crazy.You’re not wrong either.I wish I’d said it just to get it out there on our first date.I will from now on, regardless of what gender I’m dating.
So you’re bi?
Queer of some kind.Bi/pan/idk.
OK.
How long have you known?
High school.
When you met that guy?What’s his name?
Diego.Yeah.
The bubbles did the appearing and disappearing thing for a while.Then she said:
He’s hot.
I laughed out loud and typed back:
I’ll tell him you think so.
